If your sex life with your partner isn’t as wildly exciting as it used to be, we have news that might surprise you: you’re completely normal. While we all daydream about those honeymoonish days where sex was on every meal’s dessert menu, it’s only inevitable for even life’s most wondrous pleasures to lose their newness.
Sound a little disheartening? On the contrary. An honest recognition of a dip in coital climate and the willingness to take a proven route of action to sing your way out of the bedroom blues is already enough to get the mercury rising once again.
Having recently surveyed couples who have successfully transformed their sex lives from icy to spicy, we’ve analyzed common, libido boosting findings to bring you the top five ways for even those with the most demanding schedules to start getting busy.
5. UPGRADE YOUR SEXTING PLAN
Our sexually satisfied surveyors reported they felt younger on days when they exchanged dirty text messages with their partner. While you both may be surrounded by people all day—text messages, unlike phone calls, are exclusively private and take mere seconds to write. On top of creating arousal, your touchtone foreplay creates an insider bonding experience similar to that you experienced as a student stealthily passing notes in class.
4. COMMUNICATE WITH NEEDERS AND IMPEDERS
Couples that find time to make great love avoid making something else—excuses. Let’s face it—everyone is busy, and mostly for the same two reasons—loved ones and work. When you finally have time off from work, you tend to be around one of two types of people—needers or impeders. Whether you have children or roommates, try getting what you want by giving them what they want. To get alone time, set up a sleepover for your kids at a friend’s house or promise your roommate a fancy dinner for giving you the apartment for the night.
3. QUICKLY DOES IT
Regardless of how busy you are—there’s absolutely no excuse for not having time to indulge in the sporadic quickie. Unlike our previous tip, no planning or coordination is needed—and would actually deter the steamy spontaneity you’re trying to achieve. And while planning is of no importance, neither is location. A stealthy sneak up in the shower, laundry room, garage or wherever your partner happens to be when you finish reading this is the ideal location for your next quickie.
2. REINVENT MOVIE NIGHT
Put away the romantic comedies that leave you feeling like you’re in a lackluster relationship and substitute them for some erotica. Whether you’re new to frisky films or you’ve got a hard drive full of hardcore, there’s something for every comfort level. Together, search and browse erotic clip sites or order an erotic film from one of your satellite channels. And don’t be afraid to make it interactive. For example, see who can watch the longest without getting aroused (with punishments for the loser of course) or reenact your favorite scene.
In addition to creating anticipatory arousal, you’ll discover both mutual and personal turn-ons and fetishes.
1. REDISCOVER THE JOYS OF TOYS
There are only so many anatomical positions that two bodies are capable of entwining themselves in. It’s truly only a matter of time before even the most experimental couple has exhausted every sexual position and sensation. While humans are built for much more than sex, sex toys are specifically crafted to stimulate your most sensitive pleasure points with stamina unmatched by the human body. And if you thought sex toys were just for one-play, think again: the most sexually successful couples incorporate toys into both foreplay and intercourse. For starters, explore shared fantasies with the LELO Indulge Me Pleasure Set
As you begin your journey toward revitalizing your sex life, consider these pointers the tip of the spiceberg—open to your own creativity. While some of these leading examples might put you out of your comfort zone, recognize that any journey out of your comfort zone is a journey into self-discovery.
Most importantly, don’t procrastinate. Start tonight, and if you happen to be reading this together right now—well, you know just what to do.