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Home / SEX & RELATIONSHIPS / Sex Tips & Advice / What He’s Really Thinking: Top Male Sex Fantasies Uncovered

What He’s Really Thinking: Top Male Sex Fantasies Uncovered

Men's Sexual Fantasies

When it comes to men’s erogenous zones, one in particular is heads and shoulders above all the rest (literally). Archive and author of our intimate experiences, dreams and desires, the brain is hands down the sexiest organ of them all. It’s also where we conjure up fantasies of all kinds, from the taboo to the improbable; Needless to say, sex is no exception.

An intimate and creative outlet from our day-to-day reality, our fantasies give license to push sexual boundaries and explore possibilities for pleasure, without the oftentimes weighty repercussions of reality. Fantasizing about sex isn’t just normal, it’s almost universal.

Men are from Mars…

However, and as with most things in life, men and women fantasize in different ways. Shattering the stereotype, guys don’t think about sex all the time, researchers at University of Ohio announced in 2011, and instead limit raunchy ruminations to a more practical 19 times a day, compared to 10 for the girls. Another key difference lies in the nature of fantasies, with a 2012 study at the University of Granada suggesting that where women’s fantasies are typically ‘romantic’ in theme, men’s tend to be more ‘exploratory’.

Of course, we don’t need a scientist to tell us that when it comes to sexual fantasies, anything goes, and the only way to really know what sexy scenes play out in your partner’s mind is to ask. That said, experience tells us that guys in particular share more than a few fantasy fetishes, some of which may just surprise you…

Good Things Come in Threes…

A Classic…

The threesome, it would seem, is the stuff of fantasies for many a hot-blooded male. For most, this dream scenario sees not one but two beautiful women fawning over our one lucky chap. Sensual stuff, its appeal is self-explanatory: not only does the threesome suggest virility and potency, it also appeals to men’s typically visual imaginations.


Of course, no two fantasies are ever the same, and some fellas find themselves all hot under the collar at the idea of sharing their partner with another man. That could be in order to pleasure a woman in ways that simply aren’t possible without an extra body; or perhaps it’s her implied submission that sets his pulse racing.

Whatever the reasons behind a fantasy threesome, it’s certainly not greed, neither is it gay, and nor does it signal infidelity. One of the most widespread male fantasies out there, it’s also one of the sexiest.

Master and Commander

From Power Play…

Next up: domination! Most of us relish the opportunity to relinquish responsibility once in a while, and that very same surrendering of control also applies to sex. Contrary to popular belief, this particular fantasy needn’t feature a leather-clad, whip-wielding dominatrix; and could be no less prosaically linked to a partner’s initiative, direction and assertiveness. Both, we’re sure you’ll agree, are pretty arousing.

… To Role Play

The imagination is a remarkable thing, and never more so than when it comes to fantasies concerning domination and submission. Scenarios we’ve encountered include a female cop barking orders to her handcuffed detainee; a very bad teacher assigning naughty homework to an even cheekier pupil; or how about a sexy nurse taking very special care of her patient…?

With its potential for sexual role-play and shameless excuse for sexy costumes (men are visual creatures, after all), this one can be a lot of fun to explore and act out together.

Location, Location, Location

To Be Seen…

Let’s face it: for most of us, the setting of our love-making is limited, generally confined to the bedroom and certainly behind closed doors. But fantasies are all about challenging taboos and for that reason, sex in public places is a turn-on for many.

It could be a tropical beach, a car park or even the welcome shadows of a darkened cinema. Aside from the thrill of an illicit locale, it’s the possibility of getting caught in the act that really sets pulses racing.

… And To See

Of course, that same exquisite danger of being watched works both ways, with voyeurism being yet another popular male fantasy that once again taps into men’s penchant for the visual. Sexy stuff, we’re sure you’ll agree.

One in a Million

This is just a very broad overview of some of the most popular fantasies out there, and as you’d expect, guys’ sexual wish-lists are as pleasingly unique as the men who enjoy them.

For many, fantasies remain just that: an intensely private and deeply personal articulation of desire, like a thrilling daydream to return to time and time again. For others, though, sharing sexual fantasies not only unlocks possibilities for uniquely satisfying sex, but can also be an expression of intimacy and trust. Plus, it’s just really, really hot.

Whilst some may be best left unfulfilled, many fantasies can bring a whole lot of spice – not to mention loads of fun – to lovemaking. Our advice? Dare to share and make those sexy daydreams a reality!

About Donna Turner

Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelance writer who lives in San Francisco with her husband and two sons. Her work has appeared in Psychology Today, Go! Magazine (Australia) and is regularly featured in the San Francisco Herald.


  1. i couldn’t agree more, i have always had a fantasy of sharing my sexy wife with another man. to be able to watch her body get the pleasure that takes her over the edge of an orgasm that she will never forget. gets me every time

  2. Same here would love to watch her being pleasured

  3. My fantasy? A wife who’ll show a modicum of respect for my intelligence, and who’ll work at dealing with her self-esteem issues. I’ve yet to find a woman around here who explicitly shows no shame in enjoying sex outside the bedroom. Even more rare to find a woman who can talk intelligently about sex. Her brain is a bigger turn-on for me than just her body.

  4. This has been some fantasy of for a long time. The 10 yrs we been together she’s been with 3 other guys. 1st guy she cheated on me. But at the time i was not paying attention to her. A coworker gave the attention she craved. She had an emotional affair with him. They did have sex one time. I knew something was going on but something made me feel excited over her with someone else. I finally caught them at a restaurant and confronted them. Being face to face with him made me jealous angry and hurt. I basically told the guy off and left with my girl. We talked about it and she quit her job and never seen that guy again. We became closer more committed to each other. Some time passed and she started working at the mall. She’s has an outgoing personality and people do tend to fall for her. Her curvy body helps her too. While working there she started hanging out with coworkers again. I didn’t like it because of what happened last time. But she continued working there. Guys would go in her store and hit on her constantly. Especially black men. Knowing I would get turned on she shared how her day went. She would always tell all the stories of they try to squeeze by her just to try to brush her round ass. Black guys really liked her fat ass. They would ask her if she curious about black cock. One even pulled it out for her. She would get annoyed most of the time but felt good she attractive. She never asked for the attention and never flirted back. I would get so hard hearing the stories we would have the most amazing sex. I told her it really turned me on and i enjoy them hitting on her. As she went out more and more with coworkers she started to open up more at the clubs and bars. I gave her permission to flirt with people just no sex. She did she kissed a few guys and girls during her adventures. She really got close to one coworker. I did not like that at all. I gave her a rule no coworkers. But by that time it was to late. She never had sex with him but it was more flirtatious. Long story short they went there own separate was. She got that out of system and was now ready to settle down. She did admit she had sex with a friend’s roommate. But i forgave her. I really got into interracial porn and I would always make comments about how those black guys wanted her. She admitted she liked it and was somewhat curious about it but she could never do it. We would watch porn together but i would catch her watching interracial porn. I finally admitted to her that i desired to see her have sex with a black man. She would roll play but after a while it became annoying. I did push it too much and fantasy died down. Three yrs later at her new job a black coworker kept hitting on her but not aggressive more flirty and sensual. I would push her to flirt back. At the same time there was another black male friend of hers from high school was flirtatious with her thru texts and phone calls. I encouraged her and she went to lunch with him a few times. She had to black males to choose from. I told she could have sex with them. She continued to flirt with both. After thinking about it I did not want her to hook up with her coworker for the fact i did not want this to get out. I wanted our fantasies and lifestyle to be discreet. I did not want her to have any connections with her lovers. After all her coworkers new me. She said she really wanted to have sex with her coworker. I resisted and told her she was better off with her HS friend. After all we did not know each other. A few weeks passed and while i was having sex with her role playing about black cock. I told tell me how much you want Derels her friend cock in you. She said yes i want it. But when we were done she started crying and told me she already had sex twice with her black coworker. I was angry but i forgave her after all i pursued it. She gave me the details and how great it was. We then came up with rules no coworkers no one that knows our friends or family. She stopped taking to her coworker he never pursued her again. Its hard to find a lover for her. She does not want to have a stranger she has to know the guy and be comfortable with him. Its been a while but we finally found some we both agreed on. A black coworker from out of state. They have a mutual work relationship but he recently quit and will be going back home next month. They always had a small flirtatious thing for each other. They kept in touch through email and turned it to a possibility something can happen. She is going to lunch with him next week and go to a basketball game with mutual friends. We talked about her taking it to the next level before he leaves. She wants to but she also doesn’t want there mutual friends/coworkers to find out. He invited her to lunch before the game. She agreed. I’m not sure whats going to happen but her interest is there. Im excited for her she is too. Maybe something can happen before or after the game. We have been talking about it and fantasizing about it. This is our open relationship

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