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Home / SEX & RELATIONSHIPS / Sex Tips & Advice / Tips For Sexting: 5 Mistakes That Turn Good Sext Into Bad Sext

Tips For Sexting: 5 Mistakes That Turn Good Sext Into Bad Sext

So one cosmo turned into three and your thumbs are hovering over your phone’s keyboard, ready to text the flirty architect you met at last week’s gala. You’re about to send a sext – one of the recent slang terms legitimized by Webster and defined as “the sending of sexually explicit text messages via cell phone or other mobile device,”

Sexting’s appearance in the dictionary is hardly surprising, seeing that as many as 71% of women have done it according to recent findings on our infographic.

However, as this tantalizing technological technique is still in its historical infancy, its official rulebook yet to be written – we can help. We’re here to provide you with the top five sexting don’ts, so when you go striking those keys, you’re not striking down your chances.

DON’T TEXT TWICE IN A ROW

Three hours and no response? Maybe it didn’t go through. Yeah, that’s it. Must be a glitch – I’d better resend. When thoughts like these emerge, keep in mind you sent a text message, not a carrier pigeon. He got or will get your text, and there’s no way to know whether he’s rejoicing in silence, fast asleep, or taking a cell phone sabbatical. Either way, that one extra text isn’t going to achieve anything but making you seem needy.

DON’T SMS ASAP

Unlike the first tip, this one is to be used at your discretion. When getting sexted, the goal is to wait as long as realistically possible to respond while not coming off as a flake or missing your window of opportunity. It’s good to allow for enough time for him to receive at least one other text from someone that is not you. Your silent absence builds sexual tension and makes him realize just how bad he wishes that last incoming text was from you.

DON’T OVERSTRESS THE ‘YES’

When he asks you to meet him somewhere later, don’t be the putty in his hands and reply with an immediate ‘yes.’ Embrace the power of the ‘maybe.’ While your actual answer might actually be What should I tell the cab driver, a maybe says, I have better things to do, but you’re not so bad, so I’ll consider it. It’s not uncommon for guys to hedge their bets with women, especially on the weekends. A ‘maybe’ will keep you on his mind and put him well on his way to breaking rule number one.

DON’T ‘OTHER GIRL’ HIM

Don’t inquire about other women—even if you think you’re doing it as a joke (which of course, you’re not). “Other girling” him (e.g. — texting: I’m sure you’re out having fun with all the other girls) is insecurity masked as playfulness in an attempt to gauge his player status. Your inquisition isn’t going to merit a truthful answer from him anyway, so forego the prying.

DON’T BE OVERLY-OBVIOUS

Ambiguity is the name of the game. For instance, you don’t want to look too easy inviting him over after it’s obvious you both have been out. Marketers: put that marketing degree and psychology minor to good use and choose your words creatively. Compare I think I’m having some people over for afterhours if you’d like to join us to Wanna come over? Same meaning, different marketing strategy.

While technology might be rapidly developing, our human psychology is still more or less stuck in the Stone Age of predictability – keep in mind that human beings are programmed to desire that which cannot be easily attained, so there’s some evolutionary wisdom behind playing hard to get.

And while your cell phone probably ranks number one as the electronic device you could never live without, our Noa™ Couples’ Massager featured in the new Indulge Me Pleasure Set, is sure to make you reconsider that answer.

 

2012 The Year Vanilla Turned Grey

About Jessica Hill

Jess joined LELO in 2012 and now works as Head writer for Volonté. In her free time, Jess offers her expertise in Public Relations to volunteer for events like Queens Pride and Rapture on the River. She lives in Brooklyn with her dog Chomper.

3 comments

  1. In psychology, this is called “playing games”. Better to be authentic from your inner core. Show who you are installed of thinking out mind-games. Be authentic!
    Fred

  2. Thanks for the input, Fred; mind games are definitely not what we’d suggest playing on anyone. What we’re promoting is sensual teasing, — not mental torture — that helps readers get more of what they want out of the initial flirtation stage of a relationship or romance.

  3. I was all set to agree with Fred… and then I reconsidered. This sounds like advice I might give one of my daughters, if I thought she was coming off as a bit desperate/needy. Now, a woman confident of her own desirability may do some of these things naturally at first, as a self-protective measure as she gauges his level of interest, but she will use them much less when she deems him sufficiently interested/appreciative/eager.

    Which leads me to my first thought when I read this post: this deals with the very initial stages of sexting, that first contact or three. Once a real-life relationship is established, with sexting as part of the play, these sorts of rules become irrelevant.

    It also occurs to me that perhaps the first rule of sexting should be “Don’t send one before you have a relationship that warrants it.” If you feel the need to play those sorts of self-protective games, it’s likely too soon to be sexting.

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