{"id":13589,"date":"2016-01-22T18:26:20","date_gmt":"2016-01-22T10:26:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=13589"},"modified":"2026-03-14T05:25:10","modified_gmt":"2026-03-14T04:25:10","slug":"when-more-means-merrier-non-monogamy-and-modern-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/when-more-means-merrier-non-monogamy-and-modern-love\/","title":{"rendered":"When More Means Merrier: Non-Monogamy and Modern Love"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/find-right-person-threesome\/\">Threesomes<\/a>, \u201chall passes,\u201d and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/swinging-tips-advice-beginners\/\">swinging<\/a>; these terms have been popping up with more and more frequency in the conversations of couples (and between friends) both inside and outside of the bedroom.<\/p>\n<p>Clearly, the concept of what fidelity means in a modern relationship has shifted and changed, but does that mean monogamy is pass\u00e9?<\/p>\n<h2>What is Non-Monogamy?<\/h2>\n<p>Non-monogamy (also called \u2018ethical non-monogamy or \u2018open relationships\u2019) is a large umbrella term for various relationship models that involve one or more partners having multiple sexual and\/or romantic partners at the same time. Sometimes this means swinging, or sometimes it means dating and falling in love with people, called polyamory.<\/p>\n<p>The key to these types of relationships is that all parties involved have discussed and agreed to the arrangement (whichever form it may take) and also to the degree that information about what they do is shared with each other, their other partners, and friends or family members.<\/p>\n<h2>Are Open Relationships just for Kinky People?<\/h2>\n<p>While there are no hard numbers for how many people consider themselves non-monogamous, there are some theories as to why. Many believe that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/monogamy\/\">monogamy<\/a> is an unnatural state given that it is seen in nature significantly less often. The rise of online communities that let people anonymously discuss their relationship problems and desires and find like-minded individuals has certainly contributed to the discussions of non-monogamy in modern life; the influence of the LGBTQ movement has likely played a large role.<\/p>\n<p>Again, while the concrete numbers concerning the number of people within the community who practice non-monogamy don\u2019t currently exist, and therefore cannot support or refute the stereotype that gay and lesbian couples are less likely to be monogamous, there is some anecdotal reasoning to support it: as <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/lgbtqa-exploring-bicuriosity\/\">people in the LGBTQ community<\/a> grew up knowing that their relationships were going to look different and follow a different path (particularly <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/brief-history-marriage-equality\/\">pre-marriage equality<\/a>) than the relationships they saw around them, they were able to step back and look at all the things we tend to assume are \u2018normal\u2019 or expected in a relationship and decide on a case by case basis whether it would work for them.<\/p>\n<p>Similarly, people who are involved in the kink community may be more likely to have had conversations with their partner wherein they discussed and evaluated whether monogamy would work best for them, just because incorporating kink and BDSM into a relationship requires those conversations about fantasies, desires and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/deciding-hard-limits-safe-words\/\">hard limits<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2>Is Monogamy Dead?<\/h2>\n<p>Just because different types of open relationships have found enthusiasts and (some) acceptance doesn\u2019t mean that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/monogamy\/\">monogamy<\/a> is gone for good; there are just more and more people realizing that it just isn\u2019t workable for their relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Couples are becoming more and more comfortable discussing what <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/are-you-sexually-compatible\/\">aspects of sexual compatibility<\/a> are necessary for their happiness, which includes monogamy or the decision to not be monogamous, whether it\u2019s to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/7-relationship-goals-keep-spark-burning-red-hot\/\">spice things up by inviting other people into their bedroom<\/a>, or being able to express romantic feeling for more than one person.<\/p>\n<p>Following a one-size-fits-all relationship model just because that\u2019s what is expected doesn\u2019t make much sense, yet that doesn\u2019t mean open relationships are better or worse than monogamous relationships, or even that every couple that tries different degrees of openness will find it works for them.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Enjoy 15% off <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">LELO.com<\/a> with code <span style=\"color: #800080;\">VOLONTE15<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Threesomes, \u201chall passes,\u201d and swinging; these terms have been popping up with more and more frequency in the conversations of couples (and between friends) both inside and outside of the bedroom. Clearly, the concept of what fidelity means in a modern relationship has shifted and changed, but does that mean monogamy is pass\u00e9? What is Non-Monogamy? Non-monogamy (also called \u2018ethical non-monogamy or \u2018open relationships\u2019) is a large umbrella term for various relationship models that involve one or more partners having [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":13592,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[917],"tags":[537,189,800,535],"coauthors":[950],"class_list":["post-13589","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-group-sex","tag-couples","tag-healthy-relationship","tag-non-monogamy","tag-swinging"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.8.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>From Polyamory to Swinging: What is Non-Monogamy?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Confused by terms like \u2018poly\u2019 and \u2018open relationships\u2019? We tackle the topic of non-monogamy and what it means for modern love.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/when-more-means-merrier-non-monogamy-and-modern-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When More Means Merrier: Non-Monogamy and Modern Love\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Confused by terms like \u2018poly\u2019 and \u2018open relationships\u2019? We tackle the topic of non-monogamy and what it means for modern love.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/when-more-means-merrier-non-monogamy-and-modern-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Volont\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LELO.Official\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-01-22T10:26:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-03-14T04:25:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Non-Monogamy-and-Polyamory-in-Modern-Love.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"660\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"330\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Katy Thorn\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Katy Thorn\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/when-more-means-merrier-non-monogamy-and-modern-love\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/when-more-means-merrier-non-monogamy-and-modern-love\/\",\"name\":\"From Polyamory to Swinging: What is Non-Monogamy?\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/when-more-means-merrier-non-monogamy-and-modern-love\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/when-more-means-merrier-non-monogamy-and-modern-love\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Non-Monogamy-and-Polyamory-in-Modern-Love.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-01-22T10:26:20+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-03-14T04:25:10+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/68fd3f91f3030cf2e5f30b74d1b3026d\"},\"description\":\"Confused by terms like \u2018poly\u2019 and \u2018open relationships\u2019? 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