{"id":15325,"date":"2016-07-06T17:18:02","date_gmt":"2016-07-06T09:18:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=15325"},"modified":"2026-03-14T05:46:23","modified_gmt":"2026-03-14T04:46:23","slug":"back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Back to Basics: The Importance of Unplugging in an Era of Digital Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"

We at LELO are so pleased to welcome Emma Sayle, founder of Killing Kittens, the members-only club that hosts female-oriented sex parties around the world, to the Volont\u00e9 blog as a guest author. Her first piece addresses the realities of dating in the digital era \u2015 and why it is so important to unplug. <\/span><\/p>\n

The digital age has revolutionized how we have sex. But perhaps it\u2019s time to go offline.<\/p>\n

My parties are pretty old school. Before you are given a glass of champagne, my security team take your phone and they don\u2019t return it until you leave. This strict rule has been enforced for the 11 years I have run Killing Kittens and it\u2019s not just to ensure complete privacy, but also to encourage people to look each other in the eye, talk and connect.<\/p>\n

The digital age has revolutionized how we have sex, how we date and how we fall in love but meeting people has now become about speed and convenience rather than chemistry and romance.<\/p>\n

Once upon a time we met potential sex and love interests through friends, family and colleagues. Today we meet people within a certain catchment area and age range.
\nYes, online dating services and apps are efficient but they have created a superficial world where people are judged on how eligible they are from a six-inch screen. This technology has given both men and women too many options – a phenomenon a recent Vanity Fair article called \u2018pussy affluenza\u2019 – and these options have created a surge in dishonesty and fantasy leaving people insecure, disillusioned and confused about sex.<\/p>\n

\u2018I mean, she\u2019s got a GSOH, she\u2019s smart, she\u2019s hot and she can ski,\u00a0but<\/i>\u00a0she\u2019s half an inch smaller than my preferred height. Hmmm. She is just three roads away though.’<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And that\u2019s just the early stages. What about when it all comes crumbling down? They say breaking up is hard to do – try doing it when your\u00a0entire relationship history is displayed on various Facebook accounts and your ex is getting over his pain with a week in Ibiza complete with daily Instagram posts for you, your friends and his to see.<\/p>\n

Social media has created armies of insecure addicts who are desperate for praise and validation and whose moods are dictated by how many people have liked their latest post.\u00a0And don\u2019t get me started on selfies.<\/p>\n

As a mother, a wife and as a CEO of a growing global network aimed at embracing women’s sexuality \u00a0I can tell you that like pregnancy and childbirth, sex is one of our most primal human experiences and no app will ever be able to replicate the chemistry that goes off when you meet someone face-to-face and think \u2018I can\u2019t wait to screw your brains out’.<\/p>\n

This is why\u00a0I\u2019m urging you\u00a0to put down your phones, your\u00a0virtual reality sex goggles and your virtual sex suits\u00a0and head outside. You don\u2019t need to go to out with the intention of meeting your dream guy or girl \u2013 you just need to have a good time doing whatever it is that you like and people will be drawn to you like a magnet.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s about getting back to basics,\u00a0something the\u00a0sex toy world has cottoned on. Forget fancy kit, 2016 has been about getting back to basics with slick, simple designs.<\/p>\n

I do, of course, acknowledge that the internet has helped socially challenged people with niche preferences and habits have sex and find love. There are now sites out there just for stoners, gluten-free singles (who knew wheat could be such a problem?) and even Ugly Schmucks.<\/p>\n

I also have to keep up with the digital world myself. Our online community is now crucial to my business, especially since I have expanded into cities like\u00a0Sydney and NYC but the aim of the site is, and always will be, to help people meet up in the real world and have face- to-face interactions.\u00a0It is not about spending a year digitally flirting with a total stranger who you have no intention of ever going on a real date with.<\/p>\n

Or, worse, you do meet up and all he wants is a fuck because, you know, he\u2019s talking to 10 other Tinderellas on Whats App and if you don\u2019t put out, he will meet one of them\u00a0tomorrow\u00a0night.
\nDon\u2019t get me wrong, casual sex is great. I\u2019ve made a career out if it and without an iPhone, back when people preferred not to openly talk about their sexual conquests and when men didn\u2019t want to be with a woman that had slept with loads of people.<\/p>\n

And I can guarantee that my sort of casual sex is still way more fun than sitting at\u00a0home, swiping left and right.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Enjoy 15% off LELO.com<\/a> with code VOLONTE15<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We at LELO are so pleased to welcome Emma Sayle, founder of Killing Kittens, the members-only club that hosts female-oriented sex parties around the world, to the Volont\u00e9 blog as a guest author. Her first piece addresses the realities of dating in the digital era \u2015 and why it is so important to unplug. The digital age has revolutionized how we have sex. But perhaps it\u2019s time to go offline. My parties are pretty old school. Before you are given […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":67,"featured_media":15343,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[925,924,923],"tags":[525,163],"coauthors":[1108],"class_list":["post-15325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-committed","category-dating","category-single","tag-better-sex","tag-dating"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSex Advice -Why You Need to Unplug from Digital Dating\u00a0<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Emma Sayle, Founder of international, female-focused sex party network Killing Kittens, offers her take on how (and why) we should unplug from digital sex.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Back to Basics: The Importance of Unplugging in an Era of Digital Sex\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Emma Sayle, Founder of international, female-focused sex party network Killing Kittens, offers her take on how (and why) we should unplug from digital sex.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Volont\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LELO.Official\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-07-06T09:18:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-03-14T04:46:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Back-to-Basics-The-Importance-of-Unplugging-in-an-Era-of-Digital-Sex.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"660\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"330\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Emma Sayle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Emma Sayle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/\",\"name\":\"Sex Advice -Why You Need to Unplug from Digital Dating\u00a0\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Back-to-Basics-The-Importance-of-Unplugging-in-an-Era-of-Digital-Sex.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-07-06T09:18:02+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-03-14T04:46:23+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5ba646f6f94161ed323b077601b57184\"},\"description\":\"Emma Sayle, Founder of international, female-focused sex party network Killing Kittens, offers her take on how (and why) we should unplug from digital sex.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Back-to-Basics-The-Importance-of-Unplugging-in-an-Era-of-Digital-Sex.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Back-to-Basics-The-Importance-of-Unplugging-in-an-Era-of-Digital-Sex.jpg\",\"width\":660,\"height\":330,\"caption\":\"Unplugging in an Era of Digital Sex\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Volonte\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sex-relationships\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"Single\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sex-relationships\/single\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":4,\"name\":\"Back to Basics: The Importance of Unplugging in an Era of Digital Sex\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Volont\u00e9\",\"description\":\"A Pleasure Project by LELO\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5ba646f6f94161ed323b077601b57184\",\"name\":\"Emma Sayle\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/d768dfe0345effe17a79e7f28c509b8e\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/70d5a5ad066049e6b36a42e0483b68a9?s=96&d=mm&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/70d5a5ad066049e6b36a42e0483b68a9?s=96&d=mm&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Emma Sayle\"},\"description\":\"Emma Sayle is the founder and CEO of Killing Kittens, a members-only club that hosts female-oriented sex parties in London, Manchester and Los Angeles.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.killingkittens.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/author\/emma-sayle\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Sex Advice -Why You Need to Unplug from Digital Dating\u00a0","description":"Emma Sayle, Founder of international, female-focused sex party network Killing Kittens, offers her take on how (and why) we should unplug from digital sex.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Back to Basics: The Importance of Unplugging in an Era of Digital Sex","og_description":"Emma Sayle, Founder of international, female-focused sex party network Killing Kittens, offers her take on how (and why) we should unplug from digital sex.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/","og_site_name":"Volont\u00e9","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LELO.Official\/","article_published_time":"2016-07-06T09:18:02+00:00","article_modified_time":"2026-03-14T04:46:23+00:00","og_image":[{"width":660,"height":330,"url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Back-to-Basics-The-Importance-of-Unplugging-in-an-Era-of-Digital-Sex.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Emma Sayle","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@Lelo_Official","twitter_site":"@Lelo_Official","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Emma Sayle","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/","url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/","name":"Sex Advice -Why You Need to Unplug from Digital Dating\u00a0","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Back-to-Basics-The-Importance-of-Unplugging-in-an-Era-of-Digital-Sex.jpg","datePublished":"2016-07-06T09:18:02+00:00","dateModified":"2026-03-14T04:46:23+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5ba646f6f94161ed323b077601b57184"},"description":"Emma Sayle, Founder of international, female-focused sex party network Killing Kittens, offers her take on how (and why) we should unplug from digital sex.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Back-to-Basics-The-Importance-of-Unplugging-in-an-Era-of-Digital-Sex.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Back-to-Basics-The-Importance-of-Unplugging-in-an-Era-of-Digital-Sex.jpg","width":660,"height":330,"caption":"Unplugging in an Era of Digital Sex"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/back-basics-importance-of-unplugging-in-era-of-digital-sex\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Volonte","item":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS","item":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sex-relationships\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Single","item":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sex-relationships\/single\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"Back to Basics: The Importance of Unplugging in an Era of Digital Sex"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/","name":"Volont\u00e9","description":"A Pleasure Project by LELO","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5ba646f6f94161ed323b077601b57184","name":"Emma Sayle","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/d768dfe0345effe17a79e7f28c509b8e","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/70d5a5ad066049e6b36a42e0483b68a9?s=96&d=mm&r=pg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/70d5a5ad066049e6b36a42e0483b68a9?s=96&d=mm&r=pg","caption":"Emma Sayle"},"description":"Emma Sayle is the founder and CEO of Killing Kittens, a members-only club that hosts female-oriented sex parties in London, Manchester and Los Angeles.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.killingkittens.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/author\/emma-sayle\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/67"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15325"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15325\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48170,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15325\/revisions\/48170"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15343"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15325"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=15325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}