{"id":17191,"date":"2017-02-23T10:48:23","date_gmt":"2017-02-23T10:48:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=17191"},"modified":"2024-07-01T16:43:40","modified_gmt":"2024-07-01T14:43:40","slug":"unsure-about-consent-heres-a-hollywood-101","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/unsure-about-consent-heres-a-hollywood-101\/","title":{"rendered":"Unsure about Consent? Here\u2019s a Hollywood 101"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"Body\">Here\u2019s the thing: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/consent\/\">consent<\/a> is non-negotiable. But that\u2019s not to say it can\u2019t be sexy. In the context of a relationship or hookup, explicitly describing desires, what you\u2019d really, <i>really<\/i> like to do with them and have them do to you is nothing if not hot.<\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\">Checking they <i>enthusiastically<\/i> consent doesn\u2019t \u2018ruin the mood\u2019 and definitely doesn\u2019t make you a killjoy. It\u2019s a declaration of respect for you, and for them. This all-important question just one way of ensuring your both on the same page \u2015 but if you\u2019re looking for ideas that don&#8217;t feel awkward, here are five examples from the silver screen of what consent looks like. Watch and learn, people.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"Body\" style=\"text-align: center;\">1. Frozen<\/h2>\n<p class=\"Body\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><i>\u201cI could kiss you. I could. I mean, I\u2019d like to. May I, we me, I mean, may we\u2026?\u201d<\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/fNqh-cWo7y4?start=33\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\">We\u2019re kind of ambivalent when it comes to wanting to build a snowman. But having a hunky woodsman ask if he can kiss us? Swoon! And since you ask, YES! While a movie aimed primarily at kids might seem an odd choice for an adult discussion of consent, just hear us out here. Compare Kristoff\u2019s adorable \u201c<i>May we\u2026<\/i>\u201d to Snow White and Sleeping Beauty\u2019s beaus just swooping right in there for a kiss when our heroines are UNCONSCIOUS&#8230;.and yeah, <em>Frozen<\/em>\u2019s pretty sexy.<\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong>Takeaway:<\/strong> Never assume. Asking permission before locking lips might not always win their heart, but it will win respect.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">2. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery<\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Vanessa: \u201c<em>Kiss me, darling!\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Austin: <em>\u201cI can\u2019t darling, you\u2019re drunk, it\u2019s not right&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-17195\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Unsure-About-Consent-Hollywood-101-Austin-Powers.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"488\" height=\"587\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Unsure-About-Consent-Hollywood-101-Austin-Powers.jpg 660w, https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Unsure-About-Consent-Hollywood-101-Austin-Powers-249x300.jpg 249w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 488px) 100vw, 488px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Alcohol plays havoc on our inhibitions and ability to communicate clearly. Basically, if you&#8217;re hooking up with someone and are aware that they\u2019ve had many-a-few too many \u2015 or have even an <em>inkling<\/em> of a doubt, just don\u2019t. After all, if it\u2019s their heart you\u2019re after, supporting them through tomorrow\u2019s hangover says a lot more about your intention. Plus, the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/aches-pains-orgasm\/\">pain-killing properties\u00a0of an orgasm<\/a> will make any <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/rise-shine-top-morning-sex-positions\/\">morning sex<\/a> you may have \u00a0all the better!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Takeaway:<\/strong> Taking advantage of someone whose judgement you know to be impaired is rape. Unsure? It\u2019s better to ruin someone\u2019s night by <em>not<\/em> sleeping with them, than it is their entire life.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">3. Thelma and Louise<\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">JD: <em>\u201cI may be an outlaw darling, but you\u2019re the one stealing my heart\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/sF2beCQqJxY\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><br \/>\nThere\u2019s <em>so<\/em> much to love about Thelma and Louise \u2015 and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/\">consent-wise, also lots to hate<\/a>. But let\u2019s take a moment to appreciate Brad Pitts\u2019 JD and Gina Davis as Thelma. She\u2019s allowed him in to her motel room out of the pouring rain, they crack open the mini-bar, and before you know it, he\u2019s jumping on the bed! He\u2019s goofing around with the hairdryer! Fun! But then there\u2019s a moment: he pulls her onto her back, things are getting steamy, then \u201c<em>Wait, wait\u2026<\/em>\u201d And that\u2019s exactly what he does. He stops kissing her, he sits back, and he waits until she touches his chest. It\u2019s a simple gesture that says YES in all kinds of beautiful ways.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Takeaway:<\/strong> Defiantly squashing the whole \u2018consent is a buzzkill\u2019 myth, establishing safety and trust can pave the way for some crazy hot sex.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">4. Hitch<\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Hitch: <em>&#8220;See, this is what most guys do. They rush in to take the kiss. But you&#8217;re not most guys. See, the secret to a kiss is to go 90 percent of the way, and then hold.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Albert: <em>&#8220;For how long?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Hitch: <em>\u201dAs long as it takes for her to come the other 10.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/DSpJQlBJCzA\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Will Smith\u2019s <em>Hitch<\/em> shares some solid doorstep wisdom with Albert (Kevin James) in this 2005 rom-com. Too often, the genre forgets that it\u2019s not just sex that requires enthusiastic consent, but everything else on the spectrum of intimacy, too \u2015 hugging, touching, and kissing.<\/p>\n<p>Framing unsolicited lusty lunges as \u2018romantic\u2019 is problematic. Cue Hitch\u2019s \u2018go ninety\u2019 rule. Of course, in practice, we\u2019d like that 90\/10 ratio closed up a little \u2015 a lot \u2015 but the point is this: like so many things in life, a spine-tingling, breathtaking kiss takes two.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Takeaway<\/strong>: Asking them to get closer and go further can be pretty enticing. Them accepting your invitation to intimacy? <em>Sizzling<\/em>.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">5. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World<\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Ramona: \u201c<em>I changed my mind.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Scott Pilgrim: \u201c<em>Changed it to what, from what?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Ramona: \u201c<em>I don\u2019t want to have sex with you, Pilgrim. not right now.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Scott Pilgrim: \u201c<em>Okay\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Ramona: \u201c<em>I reserve my right to change my mind about the sex thing later.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Scott Pilgrim: \u201c<em>Well this is nice. Just this.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/kRKGNTFuKZk\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><br \/>\nSex with someone new can be a frenzied, full-throttle affair. It can also be halting and shy. There\u2019s no right or wrong; both feel fantastic. But regardless of what <em>you\u2019re<\/em> feeling \u2015 wild abandon or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/boost-bedroom-confidence\/\">self-conscious<\/a> \u2015 you have to check in with the other person. If their body language is screaming \u201cI\u2019M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW,\u201d make like Ramona and <em>stop<\/em>. Withdrawing consent isn\u2019t teasing, it\u2019s a fundamental right. Respect it. Besides, not having sex with someone can still be a pretty intoxicating experience.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Takeaway:<\/strong> When it comes to sex, not only are there a lot of (metaphorical) moving parts, but things change. Gauging how each other are feeling, how comfortable you both are, is one of the most intimate things two people can do together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here\u2019s the thing: consent is non-negotiable. But that\u2019s not to say it can\u2019t be sexy. In the context of a relationship or hookup, explicitly describing desires, what you\u2019d really, really like to do with them and have them do to you is nothing if not hot. Checking they enthusiastically consent doesn\u2019t \u2018ruin the mood\u2019 and definitely doesn\u2019t make you a killjoy. It\u2019s a declaration of respect for you, and for them. This all-important question just one way of ensuring your [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":17192,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[862,189],"coauthors":[947],"class_list":["post-17191","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sex-tips-advice","tag-consent","tag-healthy-relationship"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.8.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Sexy Movies that Show Consent &amp; Sex Positive Themes in the Best Way Ever<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You know consent is crucial for sex, but aren&#039;t sure how to go about asking for it in a way that&#039;s not awkward; this steamy movie guide is for you!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/unsure-about-consent-heres-a-hollywood-101\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Unsure about Consent? Here\u2019s a Hollywood 101\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You know consent is crucial for sex, but aren&#039;t sure how to go about asking for it in a way that&#039;s not awkward; this steamy movie guide is for you!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/unsure-about-consent-heres-a-hollywood-101\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Volont\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LELO.Official\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-02-23T10:48:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-07-01T14:43:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Unsure-about-Consent-Here\u2019s-a-Hollywood-101.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"660\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"330\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Donna Turner\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Donna Turner\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/unsure-about-consent-heres-a-hollywood-101\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/unsure-about-consent-heres-a-hollywood-101\/\",\"name\":\"Sexy Movies that Show Consent & Sex Positive Themes in the Best Way Ever\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/unsure-about-consent-heres-a-hollywood-101\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/unsure-about-consent-heres-a-hollywood-101\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Unsure-about-Consent-Here\u2019s-a-Hollywood-101.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-02-23T10:48:23+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-07-01T14:43:40+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/ee7d40fffc3a3ad51f9cb3b4fa664198\"},\"description\":\"You know consent is crucial for sex, but aren't sure how to go about asking for it in a way that's not awkward; this steamy movie guide is for you!\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/unsure-about-consent-heres-a-hollywood-101\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/unsure-about-consent-heres-a-hollywood-101\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/unsure-about-consent-heres-a-hollywood-101\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Unsure-about-Consent-Here\u2019s-a-Hollywood-101.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Unsure-about-Consent-Here\u2019s-a-Hollywood-101.jpg\",\"width\":660,\"height\":330},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/unsure-about-consent-heres-a-hollywood-101\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Volonte\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Sex Tips &amp; Advice\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sex-tips-advice\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"Unsure about Consent? 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