{"id":17462,"date":"2017-05-05T09:56:04","date_gmt":"2017-05-05T09:56:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=17462"},"modified":"2024-07-01T17:39:16","modified_gmt":"2024-07-01T15:39:16","slug":"stealthing-secretly-taking-off-condoms-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/stealthing-secretly-taking-off-condoms-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Have You Heard About Stealthing (Secretly Taking Off Condoms During Sex)?"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019re no strangers to how new trends and technologies affect even our sex lives; we\u2019ve seen how dating and social media<\/a> have become inextricably linked, and how sudden comfort with talking about anal sex has lead to increased interest in topics like pegging<\/a> and prostate massage<\/a>.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re certainly not prudish about tackling these topics to help share information with our curious fans so that they may better enjoy sex with full comfort and free from stigma. However, sometimes even we learn about something so disgusting we can\u2019t believe it\u2019s real, and in tackling one such topic today, we sincerely wish it wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

What Is Stealthing?<\/h2>\n

\u2018Stealthing\u2019 is the practice of removing a condom during sex without the other person\u2019s knowledge or consent (as we\u2019ll address below).<\/p>\n

A recent study from the Columbia Journal of Gender and Law, written by Alexandra Brodsky, investigated the phenomenon, which she found to be overwhelmingly, and distressingly prevalent. In researching for her paper ‘Rape-Adjacent’: Imagining Legal Responses to Nonconsensual Condom Removal<\/a>,\u2019 Brodsky found online forums dedicated to the practice, where men described their methods for either putting condoms on incorrectly<\/a> so they would slip off, or how to degrade the condom by using oil-based lubricants rather than water-based lube<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Why Would Anyone EVER Do This?<\/h2>\n

It is already mind-bending to just consider why anyone would not only expose themselves to risk of infection during an STI pandemic<\/a>, but also to betray their partner\u2019s trust, as many of the victims Brodsky interviewed said they had experienced this with regular partners. However the reasons many of the forum users listed are absolutely unintelligible to anyone with a kernel of rationality.<\/p>\n

A common theme is the idea of \u2018man\u2019s natural right\u2019 to spread his seed, suggesting that it did not count as having reached their biologically-determined goal of having sex unless they ejaculated inside their partner\u2015if you\u2019re curious about that leap of logic, there are well-discussed incidences of gay men practicing stealthing. Overwhelmingly, many of the stealthing forum users are under the impression that if their partner \u2018 wants the guy’s **** then she also has to take the guy’s load!!!’[1]<\/a><\/p>\n

A Refresher on Sexual Consent<\/h2>\n

Consensual sex<\/a> depends on informed, enthusiastic, and ongoing agreement to sexual acts between partners. To break that down:<\/p>\n