{"id":17723,"date":"2017-06-21T10:07:52","date_gmt":"2017-06-21T10:07:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=17723"},"modified":"2024-07-01T17:59:22","modified_gmt":"2024-07-01T15:59:22","slug":"taken-peg-straight-guys-view-being-pegged","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/taken-peg-straight-guys-view-being-pegged\/","title":{"rendered":"Taken Down a Peg: A Straight Guy\u2019s View of Being Pegged"},"content":{"rendered":"

The following is a piece\u00a0from one of\u00a0Volont\u00e9\u2019s male\u00a0contributors who wished to have it published anonymously.<\/em><\/p>\n

It was her idea, and the confidence with which she told me she wanted to do it to me put me at ease. \u201cYeah. Sure. Why not?\u201d I replied, when she showed me the picture of a strap-on dildo that she already owned. <\/span><\/p>\n

I found it quite sexy that:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. She already owned strap-on sex toys and therefore probably had a lot of trustworthy experience<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. She had a photos of them on her phone, just in case it came up naturally in conversation<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. It actually HAD come up naturally in conversation, on what was probably only our third or fourth date.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Virgin Territory<\/h2>\n

    To be honest, I\u2019m probably more open to the idea of pegging than most guys. I\u2019m aware I had a bit of a headstart, and had already owned and used anal sex toys<\/a> in the past. \u00a0But still, pegging was virgin territory for me, and I knew I wouldn\u2019t know what to feel about it until I was doing it.<\/span><\/p>\n

    And already, this exposes a number of hypocrisies and contradictions in a lot of people\u2019s attitudes to pegging. I was excited to be asked if I wanted to try it, which is great, but also disappointing, because I\u2019d been sexually active for well over a decade when this happened, and no one had ever asked me about it before. I suspect a lot of women would be excited to try it, and men too, but there is undeniably a nervousness or self-consciousness about raising it.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Why is this the case? Well, this is where we get into choppy water. Pegging, between straight couples, inverts the traditional framework of gender and sexual roles. For some, that\u2019s exactly the point, and that subversion of stereotypes alone is enough for both partners to derive pleasure. For other couples, the interesting psychology of it doesn\u2019t matter: the physical sensations are what matter, and the sex act itself is stripped of any politics.<\/span><\/p>\n

    All this complexity, wrapped up in existing taboos surrounding male anal pleasure<\/a>, and you can start to understand why pegging is a difficult topic to approach early in a relationship. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    How To Ask Someone if They Want to Try Pegging<\/h2>\n

    So how DO you talk about pegging? This is simultaneously a thousand times easier than it sounds and a thousand times harder. The hard part is raising it as a desire – a major obstacle for most people. But, as obstacles go, it\u2019s still easier than, say, teaching yourself to fly a crop-duster and asking \u2018CAN WE TRY PEGGING?\u2019 in 500ft letters in the sky. It\u2019s just talk, and that\u2019s really easy.<\/span><\/p>\n

    The trick is to ask with confidence, and be excited about it \u2013 or at least, hide your nervousness about it. Regardless of your role in the pegging itself, you\u2019re far more likely to get a positive response if you ask in a positive way. <\/span><\/p>\n

    Pick your moment though. If you want to try being pegged, don\u2019t just blurt it out while you\u2019re having an argument with your partner about grocery shopping. \u201cYou forgot the milk again, didn\u2019t you?\u201d \u201cPEG ME!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

    PROTIP: ask while you\u2019re having sex. Sow the pegging seed in a sexual context. Actually, that applies to just about everything. You\u2019re welcome.<\/span><\/p>\n

    What Does Pegging Feel Like?<\/h2>\n

    Ok, on to the fun stuff. What is pegging really like? <\/span><\/p>\n

    This all depends on the way you\u2019re doing it, and I\u2019m tempted to simply answer \u2018it\u2019s like any kind of sex: when it\u2019s good, it\u2019s great.\u2019 But I think you probably want more than that.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    Let\u2019s assume for a moment that it\u2019s the inversion of those oldy-worldly relationship dynamics that you want to explore. For that, there\u2019s nothing I can think of that\u2019s more satisfying. You get to set the tone of it with your partner: if you want to be humiliated, if you want to feel emasculated, pegging can satisfy that desire entirely.<\/span><\/p>\n

    But, that makes pegging seem like it\u2019s a lot kinkier than it really is. And that\u2019s where we encounter one of the many double standards involved in the relationship between male and female sexual pleasure: that because, in this particular dynamic, pegging empowers the woman, it\u2019s automatically \u201cnon-conventional\u201d (to use the language of British obscenity laws<\/a>). <\/span><\/p>\n

    But that\u2019s not always the case, nor is it an issue when it <\/span>is<\/span><\/i> the case.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Now, let\u2019s assume it\u2019s the sensations you\u2019re interested. Pegging allows for some real, tangible intimacy, especially if it\u2019s done in a face to face sex position. The physical sensations, assuming you\u2019re using something of relative size to BILLY<\/a> (which, at around 4 inches insertable length and 1 inch diameter, most users would describe as \u2018small-to-medium\u2019), are incredibly pleasurable.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Somehow, allowing somebody else to be in complete control<\/a> of your sensations adds a new dimension of physicality to anal pleasure. Technically everything is the same as if you were performing the same actions solo, but with a partner, everything becomes more\u2026 substantial. That\u2019s just the nature of sex, I guess.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Square Pegs, Round Holes<\/h2>\n

    Now, I\u2019m very aware of the ground I\u2019ve failed to cover above. I haven\u2019t talked in any detail about my partner\u2019s experience. Nor have I even touched on less traditional relationship dynamics<\/a>, or non-linear, non-binary gender and sexual dynamics. Another time, perhaps. This time, I just wanted to try to explain to someone who might be close to trying it what they can expect:<\/span><\/p>\n

    Pegging is as kinky as you want it to be. If you\u2019ve tried it, you probably love it. If you haven\u2019t, you probably will.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    The following is a piece\u00a0from one of\u00a0Volont\u00e9\u2019s male\u00a0contributors who wished to have it published anonymously. It was her idea, and the confidence with which she told me she wanted to do it to me put me at ease. \u201cYeah. Sure. Why not?\u201d I replied, when she showed me the picture of a strap-on dildo that she already owned. I found it quite sexy that: She already owned strap-on sex toys and therefore probably had a lot of trustworthy experience She […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":17726,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[916],"tags":[537,149,792],"coauthors":[947],"class_list":["post-17723","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anal-sex","tag-couples","tag-men","tag-pegging"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat is Pegging? 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