{"id":20066,"date":"2018-04-19T09:54:45","date_gmt":"2018-04-19T09:54:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=20066"},"modified":"2024-07-17T06:18:09","modified_gmt":"2024-07-17T04:18:09","slug":"hey-guys-dont-be-that-guy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/hey-guys-dont-be-that-guy\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Guide To Not Being “That Guy”"},"content":{"rendered":"

When you\u2019re reading this at some point in the future, maybe you\u2019ll be a citizen of a world with no more weekly Internet Outrages. More likely though, if you\u2019re reading this at all, it\u2019s on the Internet, which will either be in an outrage over something or perhaps between outrages \u2013 if you\u2019re lucky.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anyways, now that I\u2019ve got you here guys; can we talk? Huddle up, and let\u2019s have one of those mano-a-mano\u2019s.<\/span><\/p>\n

Okay, so it goes that back in early March 2018 one guy was pretty miffed about the fact that his girlfriend masturbates after sex. How miffed? So miffed that he <\/span>wrote to The Guardian\u2019s resident psychotherapist Pamela Stephenson Connolly<\/span><\/a>, positing that his partner is insatiable. Connolly\u2019s response was on-point, essentially telling the guy that it\u2019s simply how his partner takes her pleasure, and that it\u2019s not necessarily about him.<\/span><\/p>\n

However if there\u2019s one thing we all know about dudes on the Internet, EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THEM ALWAYS. Just like \u201c<\/span>Cat Person<\/span><\/a>,\u201d a lot of guys took umbrage at the thought of a woman having a \u2013 gasp! \u2013 different experience or enjoyment of sex than the one that exists in his own mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

Many, many guys piled on, adding their own two cents and reasoning why the female partner is to blame for this anonymous guy feeling a bit foolish, culminating in yet another huge collective self-owning that the Internet seems to have been invented for.<\/span><\/p>\n

Guys, we really need to cut it out. We\u2019ve all got to stop being \u2018that guy\u2019. Please.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Perhaps \u2013 just <\/span>perhaps<\/span><\/i> \u2013 before we start piling on the next woman who knows how she takes her pleasure, let\u2019s just please consider that <\/span>it\u2019s not about us<\/b>. It takes accepting that everyone experiences pleasure in their own way; it\u2019s a hugely personal thing. To see that one woman\u2019s pleasure doesn\u2019t involve you, and then to get in a huff about it says way more about your tiny ego than it does about her being \u2018insatiable\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n

Besides, <\/span>there are so many <\/b>people out there who only get off solo<\/b><\/a>; if that\u2019s how you roll, then more power to you<\/b>. <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

There\u2019s nothing wrong with giving yourself pleasure if someone else can\u2019t do it for you \u2013 however before writing in to a sex therapist in a global forum, maybe try being the type of person who can talk about it with your partner, direct and judgment-free.<\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say you are one of those guys with a girlfriend who shoos you to the bathroom so she can take her pleasure into her own hands: GOOD. You\u2019ve got a partner who knows what she likes, and that is never, ever wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s also something that\u2019s been overlooked in this whole thing. Actually, it gets overlooked quite a lot, and that is the fact that an<\/span> orgasm doesn\u2019t always need to be the goal of sex<\/b><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Lovemaking can be solely about intimacy, and it\u2019s intimacy that brings us closer to our partners. Simply practicing intimacy by removing the \u2018goal\u2019 of making love means that you can give in to pleasure with no expectations being laid on each other.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sure, by the time you\u2019re reading this there will have been a countless number of more Internet dog piles of male ego rearing its fragile head \u2013 but with a bit of communication and understanding, you can make sure it\u2019s not you who\u2019s being \u2018that guy\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When you\u2019re reading this at some point in the future, maybe you\u2019ll be a citizen of a world with no more weekly Internet Outrages. More likely though, if you\u2019re reading this at all, it\u2019s on the Internet, which will either be in an outrage over something or perhaps between outrages \u2013 if you\u2019re lucky. Anyways, now that I\u2019ve got you here guys; can we talk? Huddle up, and let\u2019s have one of those mano-a-mano\u2019s. Okay, so it goes that back […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":101,"featured_media":20067,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[925,924,929,923],"tags":[135],"coauthors":[951],"class_list":["post-20066","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-committed","category-dating","category-sexual-wellness","category-single","tag-masturbation"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWonder Why Your Girlfriend Masturbates After Sex?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"One man's cringe-worthy advice letter has turned into a very teachable moment for all the guys out there who are in relationships with women, or ever want to be.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/hey-guys-dont-be-that-guy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hey Guys? 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