{"id":20125,"date":"2019-10-25T12:40:22","date_gmt":"2019-10-25T10:40:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=20125"},"modified":"2024-09-16T05:03:38","modified_gmt":"2024-09-16T03:03:38","slug":"the-10-most-common-thoughts-people-have-when-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/the-10-most-common-thoughts-people-have-when-dating\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Most Common Thoughts When Getting Back Into Dating"},"content":{"rendered":"

While being <\/span>newly single<\/span><\/a> can feel like a weight it lifted off your shoulders, it\u2019s also terrifying, especially if you\u2019ve invested years into a long-term relationship. Putting yourself out there is not easy, and there\u2019s no guide on how to do it, when to do it, or whom to do it with. If only.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The thought of even going out to meet new people can feel overwhelming, especially if you\u2019re just getting over your last relationship. Don\u2019t panic. When you start to feel ready with getting your feet wet in the <\/span>dating<\/span> pool again, remember we\u2019ve all been there, especially in terms of those post-break thought patterns. Here are some of the most common fears we have after that long-term relationship to newly single dating transition.<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Am I Ready for This?<\/span><\/h3>\n

You certainly don\u2019t want to rush things, but you also can\u2019t wait around forever. It\u2019s kinda like that quote,\u201dThe key to success is to start before you\u2019re ready.\u201d The truth is, there\u2019s no defining moment to tell you that you\u2019re ready. Life is a whole lot of trial and error no matter how you slice the pie. <\/span><\/p>\n

Although it can be hard to start to move on, it will help you in the long run. It\u2019s healthy to give yourself time to heal after a break-up, but only you can decide when you\u2019re ready to get back into the swing of things.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Will I Make the Same Mistakes?<\/span><\/h3>\n

It\u2019s easy to let what happened in your last relationship set the foundation for what may happen in your future relationships, but it\u2019s a destructive way of thinking. Your \u201cnext\u201d is not your \u201cex,\u201d and I\u2019m sure you wouldn\u2019t like to be constantly compared to theirs. <\/span><\/p>\n

As long as you\u2019ve learned from your past relationships, understanding why it crumbled and taking blame if you were wrong, you should be aware of any familiar bad patterns that could be developing. Remember, you have the power to change. <\/span><\/p>\n

This is a chance for a new start, to actually build something you want. Everyone in your life is either a blessing or a lesson. Having that perspective will get you far in life, even outside of your <\/span>romantic relationships<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. I\u2019m Not Good Enough<\/span><\/h3>\n

You are. You may not feel like it, but you are. Even if you were in the wrong in your last relationship, you deserve the best if you\u2019re willing to give it. This thought can cloud your mind for weeks after a break-up. <\/span><\/p>\n

A break-up makes you question your self-worth and how lovable you are. Put those negative thoughts to the side. You are worthy of love and a relationship and no one can take that away from you.<\/span><\/p>\n

4. \u2018You Were Always on My Mind\u2019<\/span><\/h3>\n

Your ex was deeply ingrained into your everyday life, and most likely was your <\/span>best friend<\/span><\/a> at some point, so it\u2019s perfectly normal for them to be on your mind \u2013 a lot. <\/span>A certain song<\/span><\/a>, restaurant, or even crack in the wall might trigger a memory for you. <\/span><\/p>\n

You are mourning a loss, and it\u2019s a process. Just don\u2019t let these feelings consume you because there are so many more memories you will be creating.<\/span><\/p>\n

5. Will I Ever Meet the Right Person?<\/span><\/h3>\n

It\u2019s normal to question if you\u2019ll ever find love again, and it will take some time for you to feel 100% yourself again. Imagining yourself in another relationship and building something from scratch is scary, but also a great opportunity to explore what the \u201cright\u201d person for you really means. <\/span><\/p>\n

Part of your growth will be realizing what you want and don\u2019t want out of your future relationships. Maybe you want someone who is more ambitious, less intense, and certainly not another backseat driver. <\/span><\/p>\n

Reevaluate your deal-breakers and focus on meeting someone who makes you a better version of yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n

6. Do I Date the Same Version of the Person?<\/span><\/h3>\n

It\u2019s normal to question the choices you made in your previous relationship \u2013 a major one being the person you dated. Sometimes you may even wonder if you date the same person. If you think there may be something to do that, try to evaluate it, and see if there is really a pattern. If you think there may be, talk it out with friends who know you and have witnessed the relationship pretty intimately. <\/span><\/p>\n

If you think its a bigger issue, there\u2019s no shame in seeking professional help from a professional therapist or psychologist who can help give you tips to break the habit. Sometimes it\u2019s easier talking to strangers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

7. How Can I Start to Take Better Care of Myself?<\/span><\/h3>\n

First of all, be nice to yourself. Take some time for introspection, get your thoughts and fears out whichever way is best for you: venting to friends, writing it down, using your emotions as a creative boost, hell \u2013 even texting yourself in your phone can help. <\/span><\/p>\n

It can be easy to live in sweats, have that extra slice of pizza, and stay in bed and hide from the world. Which you shouldn\u2019t beat yourself up about! But do try and set small goals to live healthier and get things done on your to-do list that you\u2019ve been putting off. You should even encourage yourself to <\/span>masturbate more<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n

If you start acknowledging all the small wins in your day, like making your bed, it will spark a chain reaction to do more good for yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n

8. How do I Start Making the \u2018Right\u2019 Choices for Myself?<\/span><\/h3>\n

Breakups can put you through the ringer emotionally and mentally. They can also make you question everything around you and take a physical toll on you if you\u2019re not taking care of yourself properly. It\u2019s important to eat right, get enough rest, <\/span>exercise<\/span><\/a>, and surround yourself with supportive people.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

9. What are my Deal Breakers?<\/span><\/h3>\n

As previously mentioned, it\u2019s time to reevaluate your deal breakers! Which is actually a positive outcome of enduring bad breakups. Maybe you have strong <\/span>religious<\/span><\/a> or political views, aren\u2019t a <\/span>drinker<\/span><\/a> or smoker, are okay with <\/span>open relationships<\/span><\/a>, or are not. <\/span><\/p>\n

Things like these can be the root of issues in future relationships, so if you are clear about your deal breakers, you can clearly communicate your expectations in a relationship and save yourself a lot of hassle and time. Different strokes for different folks, and that\u2019s okay.<\/span><\/p>\n

10. What do I Want Next?<\/span><\/h3>\n

When you start feeling ready to go out and meet new people, what you want next will be another thing to keep in mind. Jumping from one relationship to the next is never a great idea. <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s good to give yourself space to recoup and <\/span>find out who you are again<\/span><\/a> as a single person, it can help you rediscover things about who you are, and this can also help you get a clearer idea of what you want moving forward. Change accompanies progress, and remember that you are always evolving.<\/span><\/p>\n

See Also:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Top Niche Dating Apps for Your Needs<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Creative Prompt Ideas for Hinge<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Is Hooking Up the New Dating?<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Discover pleasure with:<\/strong><\/p>\n

[carousel_slide id=’43517′]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While being newly single can feel like a weight it lifted off your shoulders, it\u2019s also terrifying, especially if you\u2019ve invested years into a long-term relationship. Putting yourself out there is not easy, and there\u2019s no guide on how to do it, when to do it, or whom to do it with. If only.\u00a0 The thought of even going out to meet new people can feel overwhelming, especially if you\u2019re just getting over your last relationship. Don\u2019t panic. When you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":99,"featured_media":26149,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[924],"tags":[159],"coauthors":[1145],"class_list":["post-20125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating","tag-casual-dating"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n10 Most Common Thoughts People Have When They Get Back Into Dating<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Breakups suck. But getting back out there doesn't have to. 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Here are the most common thoughts (and fears) we have when starting to date again.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/the-10-most-common-thoughts-people-have-when-dating\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Volont\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LELO.Official\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-10-25T10:40:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-09-16T03:03:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/10-Thoughts-everyone-has-when-they-start-dating-again.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"660\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"330\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Anni Irish\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Anni Irish\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/the-10-most-common-thoughts-people-have-when-dating\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/the-10-most-common-thoughts-people-have-when-dating\/\",\"name\":\"10 Most Common Thoughts People Have When They Get Back Into Dating\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/the-10-most-common-thoughts-people-have-when-dating\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/the-10-most-common-thoughts-people-have-when-dating\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/VOLONTE_660x330_48.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-10-25T10:40:22+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-09-16T03:03:38+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/76f4d8e483fbc79a1cf9167d2cc8a166\"},\"description\":\"Breakups suck. 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