{"id":20180,"date":"2018-06-06T16:32:40","date_gmt":"2018-06-06T16:32:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=20180"},"modified":"2026-02-19T06:20:57","modified_gmt":"2026-02-19T05:20:57","slug":"straight-talk-for-straight-guys-fingering","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/straight-talk-for-straight-guys-fingering\/","title":{"rendered":"Straight Talk for Straight Guys: Fingering"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"lelo<\/a><\/p>\n

How do you do, fellow straight guys? I certainly hope you\u2019ve got some board shorts and flip flops on, because here\u2019s a hot take you can sear a steak over; <\/span>ladies aren\u2019t as in to being fingered as we think they are<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

What a shocker*, right? Now, I know what you\u2019re thinking, because I am thinking the same thing; <\/span>\u201cyou mean all of those years \u2013 the accumulated hours \u2013 of blindly jabbing and darting my digits in and out of a vagina have all been for nothing?\u201d<\/span><\/i> Sorry to say big fella, but most likely it\u2019s a definitive yes – at least, the way you were doing it.<\/span><\/p>\n

So where do I get this oracle-like wisdom? Am I the Vagina Whisperer? Do I breathlessly tell you this from cracked lips, my wind-beaten features and wracked body standing behind a divining rod of vagina? Heck no man, I just have a wife and close friends that I can talk to frankly about this stuff. And not just talking; <\/span>listening too<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

One source \u2013 an anonymous one \u2013 assures me that \u2018getting fingered can be good, but it requires direction and instructions. If I tell a guy what to do and how to do it, then it\u2019s worthwhile. Otherwise it\u2019s just a waste of time for me.<\/strong>\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Another member of the fingering focus group said \u2018fingering \u2013 just pushing your fingers in and out \u2013 does literally nothing for me. If you\u2019re not stimulating my clit, then you\u2019re not doing anything for me. Next!\u2019<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u2018What I\u2019d like guys to know is; stop using your fingers like they\u2019re a dick. It\u2019s not the same, not by a mile, so knock it off. A handjob<\/a> isn\u2019t meant to be a pussy replacement \u2013 it\u2019s an art form \u2013 so treat fingering the same way. Use your hands to do things down there that your penis can\u2019t. Or for god\u2019s sake just use your mouth!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

How To Finger a Woman<\/h2>\n

Okay okay \u2013 it\u2019s not all bad, fellas. Despite being told all the reasons why fingering just doesn\u2019t do it for them, the women I spoke to had some great advice to pass along, about making it a ton better.<\/span><\/p>\n

Make Sure Your Fingers Are Warm<\/h3>\n

\u00a0Christ\u2019s sake, it seems like a no-brainer right? You wouldn\u2019t dare touch you dick with those cold claws, so make like a hobo standing over a fire barrel and blow into your mitts until they\u2019re at least room temp. Also trim those fingernails, Wolverine.<\/span><\/p>\n

Liberally Apply Lube<\/h3>\n

Lube can be your friend in a fingering foxhole. Having some extra glide can work wonders if you\u2019re teasing around the clit (as you should be) ensure additional comfort for her and really, you should just be using lube<\/a> more often than you currently do.<\/span><\/p>\n

Be Clit-Conscious<\/h3>\n

\u00a0Rather than darting your fingers in and out, strike balance between finger insertion and dancing over and around her clitoris<\/a>. And, before
\nyou put your finger into her vagina, give her plenty of clit attention to get her wet. A finger into a dry vagina is no fun. In short, your hand is already down there near what for most women is their biggest sources of pleasure; so don\u2019t neglect it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Get a Handle on Your Strength<\/h3>\n

So pretending your fingers are just several rigid dicks attached to a hand and thrusting them in and out as such doesn\u2019t do anything – duh. You\u2019re not playing to their strengths, namely their bendability and sensitivity. Curly your fingers to hit her G-spot, using <\/span>exactly<\/span><\/i> the right pressure of your fingertips \u00a0– such as that your penis never can. And, be sure to ASK her what is feeling good and not while your fingers are down there.<\/span><\/p>\n

Be Not Man, Be Machine<\/h3>\n

One day dear reader, you\u2019ll grow to be a man. A man who realizes the limitations of his body. At this point of your life, you\u2019ll (hopefully) have a stable income, and with each new partner that comes into your life, you can bestow upon them a gift that will last them much longer than your relationship might.<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course I\u2019m talking about a small and discreet kind of sex toy<\/a> that can play with a clit and all of its surrounding parts more pleasurably than you\u2019re physically capable of doing. That\u2019s certainly not a knock on you; simply a fact that a motorized wonder can give the pleasure of 10 men, and perhaps it\u2019s time you made the investment.<\/span><\/p>\n

*In this article, for ease of reader understanding, we are using the words sex and intercourse as synonymous, as is done in popular culture in general. Similarly, we use the word \u201cforeplay\u201d the way it is used in popular culture (i.e., the sexual acts such as oral sex that come before intercourse). However, as aptly pointed out by our sex expert Laurie Mintz, we would also like to acknowledge that such language exalts men\u2019s most reliable rout to orgasm and linguistically erases women\u2019s most reliable route to orgasm\u2014clitoral stimulation, either alone or coupled with penetration. Indeed, only between 4% and 18% of women reliably orgasm from penetration alone. We look forward to the day when such language is not commonly used in culture.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How do you do, fellow straight guys? I certainly hope you\u2019ve got some board shorts and flip flops on, because here\u2019s a hot take you can sear a steak over; ladies aren\u2019t as in to being fingered as we think they are. What a shocker*, right? Now, I know what you\u2019re thinking, because I am thinking the same thing; \u201cyou mean all of those years \u2013 the accumulated hours \u2013 of blindly jabbing and darting my digits in and out […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":101,"featured_media":20181,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[909,29,135],"coauthors":[951,943],"class_list":["post-20180","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sex-tips-advice","tag-fact-checked-by-doctor","tag-g-spot","tag-masturbation"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nForeplay for Straight Men: How to Finger a Woman Properly<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I certainly hope you\u2019ve got some board shorts and flip flops on, because here\u2019s a hot take you can sear a steak over: you're not good at fingering.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, 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