{"id":21762,"date":"2018-10-25T00:39:29","date_gmt":"2018-10-25T00:39:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=21762"},"modified":"2024-07-23T01:09:53","modified_gmt":"2024-07-22T23:09:53","slug":"can-friends-with-benefits-actually-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/can-friends-with-benefits-actually-work\/","title":{"rendered":"Can FWB (Friends with Benefits) Actually Work?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The subject of many-a romcom and \u2018will they or won\u2019t they\u2019 sitcom storyline, friends who become more than friends but less than boyfriend-and-girlfriend (to use secondary school parlance) is a tale as old as time. While fiction tends to show us a fairly foregone conclusion about these types of relationships, can they actually work in reality?<\/p>\n<h2>Defining Your Friendship &amp; Your Benefits<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While many successful romantic relationships might start from much less than a friendship + sexual attraction, you both have your reasons for not wanting to pursue one together<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2014and that\u2019s fine, just communicate them. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Any relationship benefits from <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/importance-communication-skills-relationships\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">better communication<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, but this is particularly true \u2018non-standard\u2019 ones that don\u2019t follow a (usually) societally-expected progression, such as friends with benefits or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/how-to-talk-to-your-partner-about-nonmonogamy-and-other-practical-advice\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">non-monogamous relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Set out your expectations, both for being a good friend AND the benefits:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you both had <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/dear-lelo-tell-partner-sti\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">recent STI checks<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How much about each other\u2019s dating lives do you want to hear about?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Will other people in your social circle know?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is cuddling or holding hands okay?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do you both expect non-sexual hangouts, or is this a \u2018hook-up\u2019 only relationship<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is there an end-date, or will this be a long term thing?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are just some of the things you\u2019ll want to talk about; you really can\u2019t assume that you both have the same idea of what this arrangement looks like until you talk about it!<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>Ch-Ch-Changes<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And, of course, you need to be able to talk about how to deal with changes in the situation. That can involve what happens if one person gets another, serious partner<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2014will you keep hanging out, as \u2018just-friends\u2019 or otherwise? Or, one of you can decide that you\u2019re not interested in mixing social groups, or no longer want to be as emotionally intimate. If communicating about these things isn\u2019t easy at the beginning, it\u2019s not likely to be a breeze when something urgent comes up, so get in the habit right from the get-go.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>Now that You\u2019ve Got a Foolproof Plan\u2026<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There\u2019s a saying about the best laid plans of mice and men, but we aren\u2019t about to go talking about Steinbeck in a sex advice article, so let\u2019s just say this: accept the fact that things might not work out. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We\u2019re not saying that every friends with benefits relationship is doomed to implode, but at the same time,<\/span><b> no type of relationship is guaranteed to work out.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> People can lose interest, become interested in other people, or get attached. Sometimes the transition to \u2018more than friends with benefits\u2019 or not friends at all happens with barely a ripple, and sometimes it happens with drawn out drama that has far-reaching repercussions. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There\u2019s no real way to know how it\u2019s all going to shake out, but a good indicator tends to be how your friend-with-benefit-to-be\u2019s other relationships are; is this person a great communicator who\u2019s upfront about their needs, or do they have a history of a lot of dramatic falling outs? This can be a much better indicator of your hookup buddy success than just their usual attachment style alone!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The subject of many-a romcom and \u2018will they or won\u2019t they\u2019 sitcom storyline, friends who become more than friends but less than boyfriend-and-girlfriend (to use secondary school parlance) is a tale as old as time. While fiction tends to show us a fairly foregone conclusion about these types of relationships, can they actually work in reality? Defining Your Friendship &amp; Your Benefits While many successful romantic relationships might start from much less than a friendship + sexual attraction, you both [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":21763,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[924,923],"tags":[655,637],"coauthors":[950],"class_list":["post-21762","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating","category-single","tag-casual-sex","tag-sex-tips"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.8.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Fuck Buddies and FWB, Does it Ever Actually Work?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Something\u2019s developed between you and while it isn\u2019t quite romance, it\u2019s definitely more than \u2018just friends,\u2019 so 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