{"id":22944,"date":"2019-02-25T08:50:01","date_gmt":"2019-02-25T08:50:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=22944"},"modified":"2024-07-26T01:00:17","modified_gmt":"2024-07-25T23:00:17","slug":"friend-zone-toxicity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/","title":{"rendered":"The Friend Zone: Another Example of Toxic Sexism"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sure, we\u2019ve all had a chuckle over that one guy who tries way too hard to get the girl but fails miserably, leaving him with blue balls<\/a> while in relationship limbo.<\/span><\/p>\n

But in all seriousness, and FYI, a woman can enjoy a man\u2019s company without wanting something sexual – and that doesn\u2019t make her an awful human being. <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s time for us to get onto the modernity train and realise that \u201cthe friend zone\u201d is actually a toxic concept that promotes sexism. And a simple Internet search will prove just that. <\/span><\/p>\n

A slew of articles are readily available giving you advice on how to escape this fictional space. You\u2019ll even find quizzes to see if you\u2019re in the friend zone, and ways to get out of a friendship and get into a woman\u2019s pants. <\/span><\/p>\n

Paraphrased like that, it doesn\u2019t sound too kosher, now does it?<\/span><\/p>\n

But first, a little history lesson!<\/span><\/p>\n

What Is the Friend Zone?<\/span><\/h2>\n

The term \u201cfriend zone\u201d was coined on November 3rd, 1994 by the popular TV show, <\/span>Friends<\/span><\/i>. And since, has been shaking up relationships worldwide.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a kind of relationship purgatory where one person is romantically or sexually interested in another, yet their feelings aren\u2019t exactly reciprocated. <\/span><\/p>\n

Instead, a platonic friendship is created, leaving one person feeling totally satisfied while the other\u2026not so much.<\/span><\/p>\n

How Can the Friend Zone Be Explained?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Have you ever heard of Bateman\u2019s Principle? It\u2019s an interesting concept that puts focus on the differences in men and women of all species. <\/span><\/p>\n

When looking at the concept of reproduction, women are limited in the number of children they can have, whereas men can have a seemingly endless amount of children. <\/span><\/p>\n

So, in a heterosexual relationship, men have the tendency to display dominance and competition to get the girl, whereas women are more prone to pick and choose when it comes to a mate.<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course this principle is somewhat outdated, but the notion has been passed on through generations. <\/span><\/p>\n

Why Is The Friend Zone A Toxic Fictional Space?<\/span><\/h2>\n

The friend zone has been socialized in such a way that men feel entitled to shame women due to a lack of interest. If she doesn\u2019t put out, she\u2019s stringing you along and that\u2019s not fair, is it? Actually, it is. <\/span><\/p>\n

A woman has the freedom to choose with whom she wants a romantic or sexual relationship, and she isn\u2019t the \u201cbad guy\u201d in this scenario, as society so freely likes to paint her. When a woman rejects or shows a lack of interest in another, the friend zone merely gives that person the right to shame her, turning her into the villian. <\/span><\/p>\n

Women don\u2019t owe men anything. Period.<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, a woman can appreciate nice gestures and be flattered by the male gaze, but it surely doesn\u2019t mean that she needs to jump at the opportunity to date or sleep with him, just because he was nice. <\/span><\/p>\n

Adversely, the friend zone has simply normalised and justified the fact that men can feel butt hurt when a woman wants to remain friends, because no one likes to feel insecure. Even though they are quick to laugh or make jokes when a woman is hit on in the club or a victim of catcalling on the street. <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a two-way street buddy, you can\u2019t be the winner all the time. <\/span><\/p>\n

We\u2019ve been taught to feel sorry for the guy who persistently tries to capture a woman\u2019s heart by doing lovely gestures. Whether it\u2019s good night texts every evening, flowers for no reason, always available day or night, they\u2019re deemed a knight by women who actually feel sorry for him, but mocked by his friends for being a pussy who can\u2019t get the girl.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then, imagine the tables were turned. A woman sends a man good morning texts every day, gifts for no reason, and is available day or night. She\u2019s then deemed crazy and or a stage-five clinger. That doesn\u2019t seem fair, does it?<\/span><\/p>\n

As a means to promote forward, more accurate and modern-day thinking: when a woman doesn\u2019t want to be with you romantically or sexually, no means no. Using all of your power to \u201cget\u201d with them makes you kind of a sexist jerk. <\/span><\/p>\n

With that, let\u2019s start to embrace and accept the fact that the friend zone is actually just a ridiculous fiction that doesn\u2019t have any space in today\u2019s society, shall we? We\u2019re striving for gender equality based on respect, and not the fact that men need their wounds tended to when they don\u2019t get lucky. It\u2019s as simple as that.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sure, we\u2019ve all had a chuckle over that one guy who tries way too hard to get the girl but fails miserably, leaving him with blue balls while in relationship limbo. But in all seriousness, and FYI, a woman can enjoy a man\u2019s company without wanting something sexual – and that doesn\u2019t make her an awful human being. It\u2019s time for us to get onto the modernity train and realise that \u201cthe friend zone\u201d is actually a toxic concept that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":115,"featured_media":22945,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[924,929,923],"tags":[189],"coauthors":[948],"class_list":["post-22944","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating","category-sexual-wellness","category-single","tag-healthy-relationship"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Friend Zone, A Modern-Day Notion of Toxic Sexism<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The friend zone is yet another example of toxic sexism that is overlooked and needs to be called out for what it truly is.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Friend Zone, A Modern-Day Notion of Toxic Sexism\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The friend zone is yet another example of toxic sexism that is overlooked and needs to be called out for what it truly is.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Volont\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LELO.Official\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-02-25T08:50:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-07-25T23:00:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/friend-zone.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"660\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"330\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Helena Lorimer\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Helena Lorimer\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/\",\"name\":\"The Friend Zone, A Modern-Day Notion of Toxic Sexism\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/friend-zone.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-02-25T08:50:01+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-07-25T23:00:17+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f0b6b2803d474ec55b7c340de4ee9a7e\"},\"description\":\"The friend zone is yet another example of toxic sexism that is overlooked and needs to be called out for what it truly is.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/friend-zone.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/friend-zone.jpg\",\"width\":660,\"height\":330,\"caption\":\"Friend zone\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Volonte\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sex-relationships\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"Dating\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sex-relationships\/dating\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":4,\"name\":\"The Friend Zone: Another Example of Toxic Sexism\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Volont\u00e9\",\"description\":\"A Pleasure Project by LELO\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f0b6b2803d474ec55b7c340de4ee9a7e\",\"name\":\"Helena Lorimer\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/08dc96604ff6f78d751a66ddf83d0b5e\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0c56f24ed992a9ac04e7940b7989a464?s=96&d=mm&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0c56f24ed992a9ac04e7940b7989a464?s=96&d=mm&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Helena Lorimer\"},\"description\":\"Helena is a sex-positive freelance copywriter in her mid 30\u2019s from Cape Town, South Africa. She\u2019s travelled and lived in various countries in Asia and Europe for almost a decade, and continues to live her dream \u2014 traveling the world independently as a copywriter. Having written for various companies and magazines within the industry, she has extensive knowledge in the field of sexual health, the escort industry, and sex toy marketing.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.heyimyourwriter.com\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/helenagirlgone\/\",\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/helenalorimer\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/author\/helena-lorimer\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Friend Zone, A Modern-Day Notion of Toxic Sexism","description":"The friend zone is yet another example of toxic sexism that is overlooked and needs to be called out for what it truly is.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Friend Zone, A Modern-Day Notion of Toxic Sexism","og_description":"The friend zone is yet another example of toxic sexism that is overlooked and needs to be called out for what it truly is.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/","og_site_name":"Volont\u00e9","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LELO.Official\/","article_published_time":"2019-02-25T08:50:01+00:00","article_modified_time":"2024-07-25T23:00:17+00:00","og_image":[{"width":660,"height":330,"url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/friend-zone.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Helena Lorimer","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@Lelo_Official","twitter_site":"@Lelo_Official","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Helena Lorimer","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/","url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/","name":"The Friend Zone, A Modern-Day Notion of Toxic Sexism","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/friend-zone.jpg","datePublished":"2019-02-25T08:50:01+00:00","dateModified":"2024-07-25T23:00:17+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f0b6b2803d474ec55b7c340de4ee9a7e"},"description":"The friend zone is yet another example of toxic sexism that is overlooked and needs to be called out for what it truly is.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/friend-zone.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/friend-zone.jpg","width":660,"height":330,"caption":"Friend zone"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/friend-zone-toxicity\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Volonte","item":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS","item":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sex-relationships\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Dating","item":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sex-relationships\/dating\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"The Friend Zone: Another Example of Toxic Sexism"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/","name":"Volont\u00e9","description":"A Pleasure Project by LELO","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f0b6b2803d474ec55b7c340de4ee9a7e","name":"Helena Lorimer","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/08dc96604ff6f78d751a66ddf83d0b5e","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0c56f24ed992a9ac04e7940b7989a464?s=96&d=mm&r=pg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0c56f24ed992a9ac04e7940b7989a464?s=96&d=mm&r=pg","caption":"Helena Lorimer"},"description":"Helena is a sex-positive freelance copywriter in her mid 30\u2019s from Cape Town, South Africa. She\u2019s travelled and lived in various countries in Asia and Europe for almost a decade, and continues to live her dream \u2014 traveling the world independently as a copywriter. Having written for various companies and magazines within the industry, she has extensive knowledge in the field of sexual health, the escort industry, and sex toy marketing.","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.heyimyourwriter.com","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/helenagirlgone\/","https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/helenalorimer"],"url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/author\/helena-lorimer\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22944","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/115"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22944"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22944\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43110,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22944\/revisions\/43110"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22945"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22944"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22944"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22944"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=22944"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}