{"id":24284,"date":"2019-07-15T12:47:32","date_gmt":"2019-07-15T10:47:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=24284"},"modified":"2024-08-23T07:22:51","modified_gmt":"2024-08-23T05:22:51","slug":"tips-for-talking-sex-with-your-offspring","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/tips-for-talking-sex-with-your-offspring\/","title":{"rendered":"Tips for Talking To Your Kids About Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To be honest, my parents never gave me the sex talk. One time (in my early twenties), my dad told me sex was like hitting a piece of metal with a hammer, and I\u2019ve been all too curious about their, and everyone else\u2019s, sex lives ever since\u2026 which is probably how I ended up writing about topics like this.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Talking about sex with adults is confusing enough, and now we\u2019re expected to explain this to our kids?! Have no fear, we\u2019ve compiled some things to keep in mind to help you feel more prepared for when you\u2019re ready to talk about \u201cthe birds and the bees\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When&#8217;s the Right Time to Talk To Your Kids About Sex?<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is a lot of debate around this issue. Timing is everything, but don\u2019t believe there is a <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">perfect<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> time to give the talk. You can\u2019t really plan it and sometimes it just circumstantially happens. Kids mature at different rates, and some people even believe we should start talking about sex before our kids become verbal. One thing\u2019s for sure though\u2026 it\u2019s never too late.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whenever it may be you decide to start talking to your kids about sex, I think we can all agree that <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/consent\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">consent<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is probably one of the most important, if not <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> most important, concept to communicate to kids when having the talk. Establishing this intuitive understanding is a foundation for how your kid thinks about sex for the rest of their lives. It also teaches them that they do, and should, have control over their own bodies.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>Early Childhood (3-6 years)<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At this stage, it\u2019s important to <\/span><b>cover the basics<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> using terminology that your toddlers and kids will conceptually understand. A lot of parents use the <\/span><b>\u201cmommy and daddy do a special dance\u201d<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> technique which seems to work well, but it\u2019s also important to use correct terminology for the basic body parts. It helps kids communicate to you if something is wrong with their parts and pieces too.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s important to emphasize that some parts of the body are private and for you only. <\/span><b>Respect others&#8217; privacy, and you can also have your privacy<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It\u2019s okay to touch yourself if it feels good, but it\u2019s something to do in your alone time. It\u2019s like picking your nose, everybody does it, but you don\u2019t want to do it in front of other people.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re still struggling with talking to your littles about sex <\/span><b>there are a ton of children\u2019s books<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that also cover these topics. Our favorites are \u201cWhat Makes a Baby,\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s NOT the Stork,\u201d and \u201cIt\u2019s Perfectly Normal.\u201d All available on Amazon.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Middle\/Late Childhood (7-12 years)<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By this age, kids should be <\/span><b>learning the scientific names for body parts<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and internal reproductive organs. Bring out the anatomy diagrams. You&#8217;ll probably learn a thing or two too.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is important to communicate to them that <\/span><b>not all of them look the same<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, just like people, and that <\/span><b>they need to look after their private parts<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> just like they need to wash their hair and brush their teeth. Developing hygiene habits in general is crucial at this age.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Also let them know that their <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/human-sexuality-cycle-by-age\/\"><b>bodies and emotions will change<\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> when they get older, just like how mom has boobs and dad has hairy legs. And that girls can have hairy legs too if they want. Again, they are in control of their bodies. Please also don&#8217;t forget to explain to your daughters all about periods before they think they&#8217;re dying on the toilet.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Teens (13+ years)<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Bust out the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/15-common-mistakes-that-make-condoms-less-effective\/\">condom<\/a> and banana! <\/span><b>Getting tangible<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> might help your teens better understands the process and implications of safe sex. And include as many forms of birth control as possible. The more, the merrier (and less scarier for you).<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In my college sex ed class, we even played <\/span><b style=\"font-weight: 400;\">STD\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>jeopardy<\/b> and honestly it was probably one of the only things that stuck with me from college (I\u2019m talking about the game, not the STDs\u2026 although it\u2019s important to teach your kids that they are more common than we think).\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Other topics you should probably emphasize with your teens are <\/span><b>consent <\/b>(always)<b>, <\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/lgbtq-pride-month\/\"><b>sexual preference<\/b><\/a><b>, gender, vulnerability,<\/b><b>\u00a0and physical\/emotional abus<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>e<\/strong>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be Honest<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like with the tooth-fairy, keeping up with little white lies becomes difficult and counterproductive over time. It\u2019s best to be honest with your kids, and if they are open enough to be asking you about sexual health, give them realistic feedback. As much as we want to protect our kids from the negative aspects that can be associated with sex, establishing the trust to be able to turn to you for advice is far more important in creating a foundation for healthy sex in their futures.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What To Do if Your Kids Accidentally Walk In On You<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Take a moment to collect your thoughts. You don\u2019t want the surprise or embarrassment of this moment to make you say something you\u2019ll regret or have to backtrack later. If you still haven\u2019t given your kids the talk, don\u2019t gloss over this moment. It\u2019s probably time to at least explain something from the sections above. You should start with an apology, just to let your kids know that they did nothing wrong. And maybe, just maybe, it\u2019s time to invest in a good door lock.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>To be honest, my parents never gave me the sex talk. One time (in my early twenties), my dad told me sex was like hitting a piece of metal with a hammer, and I\u2019ve been all too curious about their, and everyone else\u2019s, sex lives ever since\u2026 which is probably how I ended up writing about topics like this.\u00a0 Talking about sex with adults is confusing enough, and now we\u2019re expected to explain this to our kids?! Have no fear, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":24382,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[669],"coauthors":[947],"class_list":["post-24284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sex-tips-advice","tag-sexual-health"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.8.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>OMG. Is it time to give your kid the talk? - A Guide for Parents<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Birds and the bees? Sperm and egg? Penis and vagina? Don\u2019t know where to start? 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