{"id":27146,"date":"2019-11-29T13:12:05","date_gmt":"2019-11-29T12:12:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=27146"},"modified":"2024-09-25T20:15:36","modified_gmt":"2024-09-25T18:15:36","slug":"how-much-sex-is-too-much","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/how-much-sex-is-too-much\/","title":{"rendered":"Research Reveals How Much Sex Is “Normal”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Enjoying a passionate tryst can be one of the most rewarding activities. Not only for the fun itself, but for the <\/span>emotional, physical, and mental benefits<\/span><\/a> during and thereafter.<\/span><\/p>\n

Achieving an orgasm<\/span> has the ability to <\/span>relieve stress<\/span><\/a>, increase happiness, lower one\u2019s blood pressure, as well as bring a sense of closeness between partners when experienced together. I guess the best things in life are actually free!<\/span><\/p>\n

So while we\u2019re on the topic, let\u2019s take a look at what\u2019s considered a \u2018normal\u2019 amount of sex. And really, just how much sex is <\/span>too<\/span><\/i> much sex?<\/span><\/p>\n

How Often Does the Average Couple Have Sex?<\/span><\/h2>\n

While it\u2019s near impossible to measure how often the average couple has sex, professionals have been weighing in, giving their opinion, based on studies and couple\u2019s therapy. And according to one particular <\/span>sex therapist, Dr. Ian Kerner,<\/span><\/a> PhD, there is simply no one right answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

He notes that there are just too many factors that come into play when trying to measure the average. For example, one\u2019s age<\/a><\/span>, lifestyle, health status, and <\/span>levels of libido<\/span>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adversely, he believes that when couples stop having sex, there are a slew of negative consequences that could arise such as anger, detachment, <\/span>infidelity<\/span><\/a>, and even divorce. In this way, he is a strong advocate for physical intimacy between partners.<\/span><\/p>\n

David Schnarch, PhD<\/a>, however, has a more concrete point of view. He advises couples to have sex at least once a week, a target that is actually rarely being reached.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

His study, conducted on over 20,000 couples, revealed that only 26% are fulfilling this sex-once-a-week quota, while the majority are hitting the sheets once or twice a month.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then, a 2015 study looked at the matter from a different perspective. This study, found in <\/span>Social Psychological and Personality Science<\/span><\/i><\/a>, looked at how <\/span>sex is linked to happiness<\/span>. And during this research, it was yet again found that couples who are intimate together at least once a week, are happier than those who do so less frequently.<\/span><\/p>\n

Interestingly, this same study also found that even if sex is enjoyed more than once a week, the <\/span>level of happiness<\/span><\/a> does not increase. So for those hoping to get a jolt of happy vibes, once a week is more than enough as opposed to getting it on 24\/7.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then again, if we flip this question, and talk about the expectations that couples have for themselves in terms of their sex life, this alone can be a cause of a number of problems. Oftentimes couples believe that they need to be having xyz amount of sex in order to be \u2018normal\u2019 or happy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In actuality however, it\u2019s more than accurate to assume that what works best for one couple may not work for another, and that it is all about doing what both partners feel comfortable with that can make or break one\u2019s sex life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Not having as much sex as usual could be a sign of comfortablility for some, and a sign of boredom for others. It\u2019s just not a one-size-fits-all experience.<\/span><\/p>\n

One\u2019s <\/span>mental and physical health<\/span><\/a> is, too, a huge factor when it comes to what is \u2018normal\u2019 and what is not.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There are several different health disorders and lifestyles that can affect one\u2019s sex life, such as medications, <\/span>hormones<\/span>, levels of libido and <\/span>sexual desire<\/span>, ageing, body or self-esteem issues, religion, sexual beliefs, depression and anxiety, and one\u2019s emotional experience.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Oftentimes, these issues may not align with your partner, making sex a touchy or difficult subject.<\/span><\/p>\n

How Can You Improve Your Sex Life?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Communication, communication, communication<\/span><\/a>. So often, not only in relationships but life in general, individuals have a tendency to be <\/span>passive aggressive in their anger<\/span> or sadness, or perhaps they feel scared or too vulnerable to talk things out.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But for couples who feel as though there are <\/span>problems within their relationship<\/span>, be it in their sex life or other, communication is the best way for both to get on the same page.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Additionally, it will prove far more productive to talk to one another, with or without a professional, as opposed to comparing yourselves to statistics. It\u2019s just not feasible.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s also important to realize that the goal of a successful relationship is happiness, not sex. And when both partners are happier, the sex is more often than not, much better.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So, instead of counting the number of times you do the sideways tango and comparing it to your friends or general statistics, rather focus on your unique relationship\u2026 <\/span>the reason why or why not you are having sex<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sex cannot fix a broken relationship when issues are simply more complex than a lack of sex. Thus I reiterate, communication, communication, communication.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Negative Effects of Having (Too Much) Sex<\/span><\/h2>\n

As previously mentioned, it\u2019s been shown in a number of different studies that couples who have sex once a week are, in general, happier than those who don\u2019t.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was also mentioned that the level of happiness does not have the capacity to increase when the frequency of sex is increased. And with that, it was found that couples who were asked to double their sex frequency as part of research, actually enjoyed sex less.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Not only that but the notion itself that we should be having a certain amount of sex in order to be happy is actually inhibiting our happiness and perhaps stunting relationship growth and contentment itself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Some are chasing a fictional sex quota which is believed to be met by every couple besides them, and this has a big tendency to cause relationship issues.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For some, not engaging in <\/span>hot sweaty sex that\u2019s shown on TV<\/span><\/a> leads them to believe that they\u2019re not normal or good enough, causing stress and anxiety within a relationship, and perhaps <\/span>self-esteem issues<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Having Sex: The Cold, Hard Facts<\/span><\/h2>\n

According to various and credible research:<\/span><\/p>\n