{"id":27272,"date":"2019-12-19T13:15:14","date_gmt":"2019-12-19T12:15:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=27272"},"modified":"2024-09-25T21:52:32","modified_gmt":"2024-09-25T19:52:32","slug":"dominance-top-space","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/dominance-top-space\/","title":{"rendered":"Dominance: Does Topspace Exist?"},"content":{"rendered":"

They say it\u2019s lonely at the top.<\/span><\/p>\n

When it comes to sex I\u2019d disagree; it\u2019s not lonely, but it can be dark. It can be complex, challenging and conflicted. There\u2019s a lot of literature out there about the phenomenon known in BDSM<\/a> circles as \u2018subspace\u2019, which is a kind of euphoric mental and physical state the submissive partner<\/a> sometimes assumes under the control of their dominant partner<\/a>. However, there\u2019s very little discussion of the dominant\u2019s mindstate, so I\u2019m going to talk a bit about it today. I\u2019d love to hear your experience in the comments below!<\/span><\/p>\n

Terminology<\/h3>\n

While I\u2019m aware that the etymologically correct opposite of \u2018subspace\u2019 would be \u2018superspace,\u2019 I\u2019ve settled on the term \u2018topspace\u2019 for a couple of reasons. First, I prefer it because it sounds less Buck Rogers and therefore more credible. Second, topspace is not the opposite of subspace, in the same way that the opposite of love is not hate, it\u2019s indifference. We\u2019ll cover this in due course.<\/span><\/p>\n

What Characterises Topspace?<\/h3>\n

In subspace, the submissive sometimes loses control of their thoughts or actions. In topspace, the dominant\u2019s focus is enhanced, and they have more control over their actions. There\u2019s a lot of love in it too<\/a>, everything is heightened somehow.<\/span><\/p>\n

What Does Topspace Feel Like?<\/h3>\n

At its most essential, topspace can be characterized simply as the derivation of sexual pleasure from the discomfort of a partner. But that\u2019s not all it is; just as subspace comes with a lot of emotionally charged baggage, so too does topspace.<\/span><\/p>\n

During D\/s activity, the conflict between the submissive partner\u2019s instinct to fight or flee can be very difficult to reconcile. It\u2019s incredibly conflicting. The Dominant faces their own conflict: \u2018why do I want to treat someone I love so cruelly?\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

This conflict is all-pervasive and ever present, and instead of trying to understand and reconcile the contradictions. It feels confusing, and mesmerising, and primal and wrong. In fact, it\u2019s probably the wrongness of it that is most attractive to kinksters. Mainly though, topspace is filled with darkness punctuated with supreme clarity.<\/span><\/p>\n

After all, only when it\u2019s dark enough can you see the stars.<\/span><\/p>\n

Is Topspace Dangerous?<\/h3>\n

Yeah, potentially. A dominants sensation of topspace can be fed directly from their submissive partner\u2019s recession into subspace in a kind of feedback loop. The more the submissive recedes, the more the dominant advances. The more distant the dominant and submissive roles become, the more momentum they have, to be pushed further away from each other in a chain reaction analogous to an inversion of the inverse-square law in physics. It takes huge self-control and situational awareness to prevent things from getting out of control.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s why aftercare really is so important<\/a>. When you\u2019re submissive, or dominant, you\u2019re forced to constantly evaluate yourself and rationalize your actions.<\/span><\/p>\n

Does Topspace Really Exist At All?<\/h3>\n

The jury\u2019s out, I\u2019m afraid. I can say I absolutely believe that subspace is an observable psychosexual phenomenon. I\u2019ve got no doubt about it. I\u2019d love to see some actual academic research done on it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Personally, I think it does. I believe that everything about us, every part of our anatomy and every facet of our psychology, has an evolutionary rationalization. This attraction to dominance and control must stem from somewhere in the evolution of our species in the same way a subsmissive\u2019s desire to capitulate must also have an evolutionary basis. If it didn\u2019t have an evolutionary basis, it simply wouldn\u2019t exist at all. But what could that biological reward be for? For inflicting pain? For winning the hunt and claiming a mate?<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure, but dominance and submission<\/a> are not about sex. It\u2019s about power. Dominance is to have power, and the body is rewarded by the brain for it, in the same way that a fighter\u2019s body is rewarded with euphoria for winning. In a twisted way, this power is darkly rewarding, and that could provide a reason why topspace exists, if it does indeed exist.<\/span><\/p>\n

Discover pleasure with:<\/span><\/h4>\n

[carousel_slide id=’43517′]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

They say it\u2019s lonely at the top. When it comes to sex I\u2019d disagree; it\u2019s not lonely, but it can be dark. It can be complex, challenging and conflicted. There\u2019s a lot of literature out there about the phenomenon known in BDSM circles as \u2018subspace\u2019, which is a kind of euphoric mental and physical state the submissive partner sometimes assumes under the control of their dominant partner. However, there\u2019s very little discussion of the dominant\u2019s mindstate, so I\u2019m going to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27,"featured_media":27273,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[918],"tags":[347,747,780],"coauthors":[946],"class_list":["post-27272","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bdsm","tag-bdsm","tag-dom","tag-submission"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDominance: Does Topspace Exist?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/dominance-top-space\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dominance: Does Topspace Exist?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"They say it\u2019s lonely at the top. 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