{"id":27360,"date":"2020-01-04T13:12:44","date_gmt":"2020-01-04T12:12:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=27360"},"modified":"2024-09-25T23:21:29","modified_gmt":"2024-09-25T21:21:29","slug":"things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Things That Ruin Our Sex Lives"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We\u2019re complex creatures. But we tend to become entirely enigmatic in issues of our sexualities. It seems to me that, even in a healthy relationship, our relationship is confused by a poor understanding and a lack of honesty about our sexualities.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We lack awareness of our own sexualities, and that of our partners. We just don\u2019t take the time to learn, to know ourselves better. So, below, I\u2019ve put together a series of eight components that constitute our psychosexual make up that can impact our relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>1. Sexual Anxiety<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s safe to say most of us have some kind of anxiety about our sexualities. Fear of rejection, poor body image and sharing fantasies are three of the most common causes of sexual anxiety.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No one finds it easy to share their anxieties, and as such, these anxieties are often suppressed and withheld from a partner.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>2. Physical Health<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Illness, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/heres-what-stress-does-to-your-sex-life-what-you-can-do-about-it\/\">stress<\/a>, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/work-exercises-better-sex\/\">declining fitness<\/a> can all influence our intimate lives with our partners. Sometimes it\u2019s necessary to make time for sex, and not neglect it.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>3. Hypocrisy<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One problem that some couples have is a kind of sexual double standard: we\u2019ve been coached by society on what constitutes appropriate behavior gender. Therefore, we expect different behavior from our partner then we would behave, in a straight relationship. Gay relationships tend to be dictated by role expectations.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>4. Secret Desires<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our sexual desires are generally developed around puberty. That\u2019s when we learn how to masturbate \u2013 in private. They\u2019re private for a long time, and it can be difficult to break that habit by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/why-you-should-try-masturbating-with-your-partner\/\">telling a partner about them<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>5. Cultural Taboos<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Taboos don\u2019t exist in a vacuum, they usually persist for generations, influencing our behavior on a social level.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The problem with taboos is that theire associated with shame and embarrassment, and we have to work together to destigmatize them for the sake of our mental health.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>6. Trauma<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The willingness to share past trauma is crucial to treating it. Those that have experienced abuse in the past might often expect it from a current partner. It\u2019s essential that a victim feels safe and trusts their partner not to take advantage of them.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>7. Sex Education<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Access to balanced, reasoned, accurate and ethical sex education early in life can really make the difference in later life. Poor sex education is responsible for a large amount of the issues partners experience with regards to our personal pleasure.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>8. Sexual Experience<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/asking-your-partner-about-past-relationships\/\">Sexual history<\/a> can have a huge impact on our relationships. Early sexual experiences are very influential later in our lives, and starting a new relationship often requires re-learning our sexuality. We\u2019ve all had bad sexual experiences, it\u2019s important we talk about them.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4>Discover pleasure with:<\/h4>\n<p>[carousel_slide id=&#8217;43517&#8242;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We\u2019re complex creatures. But we tend to become entirely enigmatic in issues of our sexualities. It seems to me that, even in a healthy relationship, our relationship is confused by a poor understanding and a lack of honesty about our sexualities. We lack awareness of our own sexualities, and that of our partners. We just don\u2019t take the time to learn, to know ourselves better. So, below, I\u2019ve put together a series of eight components that constitute our psychosexual make [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27,"featured_media":27361,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[189,669],"coauthors":[946],"class_list":["post-27360","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sexual-health","tag-healthy-relationship","tag-sexual-health"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.8.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>8 Things That Ruin Our Sex Lives<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"8 Things That Ruin Our Sex Lives\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We\u2019re complex creatures. But we tend to become entirely enigmatic in issues of our sexualities. It seems to me that, even in a healthy relationship, our relationship is confused by a poor understanding and a lack of honesty about our sexualities. We lack awareness of our own sexualities, and that of our partners. We just don\u2019t take the time to learn, to know ourselves better. So, below, I\u2019ve put together a series of eight components that constitute our psychosexual make [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Volont\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LELO.Official\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-01-04T12:12:44+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-09-25T21:21:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"660\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"330\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Stuart Nugent\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Stuart Nugent\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives\/\",\"name\":\"8 Things That Ruin Our Sex Lives\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-01-04T12:12:44+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-09-25T21:21:29+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/1605b31c2d1346d864aae6f6c44dac50\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives.jpg\",\"width\":660,\"height\":330,\"caption\":\"Things That Ruin Our Sex Lives\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/things-that-ruin-our-sex-lives\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Volonte\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Health\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sexual-health\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"8 Things That Ruin Our Sex Lives\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Volont\u00e9\",\"description\":\"A Pleasure Project by LELO\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/1605b31c2d1346d864aae6f6c44dac50\",\"name\":\"Stuart Nugent\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/fa5a6a14328b3190731a72f994c90afb\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/2f4d70a8164cd4edeb201ab59dc8657d?s=96&d=mm&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/2f4d70a8164cd4edeb201ab59dc8657d?s=96&d=mm&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Stuart Nugent\"},\"description\":\"With 16 years in the adult industry, including many years at LELO, it's fair to say Stu has been around the sex toy block a few times. 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