{"id":28940,"date":"2020-03-27T13:00:10","date_gmt":"2020-03-27T12:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=28940"},"modified":"2020-04-08T12:07:08","modified_gmt":"2020-04-08T10:07:08","slug":"get-out-of-your-head-during-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/get-out-of-your-head-during-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Get Out of Your Head During Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"

The single biggest obstacle people face in the bedroom is being too much in their heads \u2014 because that\u2019s what\u2019s behind basically every other sexual issue. If you\u2019re thinking or worrying during sex, this can lead to difficulty getting aroused, orgasming<\/a>, and truly connecting with your partner.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"get<\/p>\n

If this is an issue you\u2019ve been dealing with, you\u2019ve probably tried to just snap out of it, but it\u2019s not that simple. With all the pressures society puts on sex, it\u2019s hard not to be in your head sometimes. Worrying about how you look<\/a>, how good a lover you are, or whether you\u2019ll get aroused or orgasm (which tends to be a self-perpetuating cycle) are all common.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There are a few strategies, however, that can help get you out of your head and into your body during sex, and they\u2019re not that hard to use. Here are a few techniques to combat over-thinking in the bedroom.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Listen to sex meditations<\/span><\/h3>\n

There are actually meditations<\/a> created specifically to help you gain awareness of your body and quiet your mind during sex. The meditation app “<\/span>Inscape”<\/span> has sets of recordings designed to help with mindful sex for men, women, and solo sex. And they\u2019re not just the boring \u201csit cross-legged\u201d kinds of meditations \u2014 they include breathing exercises<\/a>, self-touch, and other activities that are actually fun to do.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Engage your whole body<\/span><\/h3>\n

We often get hyper-focused on the genitals during sex, but it\u2019s easier to stay in your body if all of it\u2019s engaged. Learn what your turn-ons are, whether that\u2019s touch on your neck, nipples<\/a>, lower stomach, hips, or thighs, and instruct your partner to linger on those places. You can also try techniques like <\/span>breast massage<\/span> to engage your whole body during self-pleasure.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Use dirty talk<\/span><\/h3>\n

Nothing gets you into the moment during sex like narrating what\u2019s happening. If dirty talk<\/a> sounds nerve-wrecking, you can start with something simple like \u201cthat feels so good\u201d or \u201cI love when you\u2026\u201d and build from there. Once you get comfortable with it, you can try more advanced practices like role-playing<\/a>. Have a conversation with your partner about each other\u2019s fantasies<\/a> so that you can use dirty talk that turns you both on.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Tune into your sensations<\/span><\/h3>\n

Practicing mindful awareness of the different sensations you\u2019re feeling can help amplify them. During sex, ask yourself questions about what you\u2019re feeling \u2014 for example, how would you describe the sensation: Heat? Tingling? Pressure? Is the sensation more on the right or left side of your genitals? Cultivating awareness may also mean being honest with yourself and your partner and speaking up if something doesn\u2019t feel good.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019ll be easier to do this if you practice mindfulness in other areas of your life. For example, when you\u2019re in the shower, pay attention to how the soap and water feel against your skin. If you make a point to do this throughout the day, it\u2019ll become a habit so that you\u2019ll automatically do it in the bedroom, rather than having to force it.<\/span><\/p>\n

5. Incorporate your fantasies into your sex life<\/span><\/h3>\n

One reason many people get stuck in their heads during sex is that, through masturbation and\/or porn, they\u2019ve gotten used to relying on specific fantasies to turn themselves on. You can bridge the gap between your fantasy life and your sex life by bringing your fantasies (or certain aspects of them) into the bedroom. If there\u2019s something you always fantasize about, whether that\u2019s blowjobs<\/a>, power play, or soft sensuality, see if your partner wants to try it. You can also use dirty talk to express dynamics that turn you on \u2014 for example, if you like being dominated or worshipped<\/a>, you and\/or your partner can say things to convey those sentiments.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

6. Explore tantra<\/span><\/h3>\n

A lot of tantric practices<\/a> are geared toward getting you into the moment and connected to your partner. <\/span>One simple tantric activity<\/span> to try is to sit cross-legged with your knees touching, gaze into each other\u2019s left eyes, and have one of you breathe in while the other breathes out. Another one is genital massages, which can help the person receiving relaxation without any pressure put on them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

7. Start off sensual<\/span><\/h3>\n

Before becoming sexual, linger in the sensual realm, whether you\u2019re alone or with a partner. Light candles<\/a>, take a bath<\/a>, give each other massages<\/a>, or use arousing fragrances. The more you\u2019re in your body before sex starts, the easier it will be to get into your body during sex.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The single biggest obstacle people face in the bedroom is being too much in their heads \u2014 because that\u2019s what\u2019s behind basically every other sexual issue. If you\u2019re thinking or worrying during sex, this can lead to difficulty getting aroused, orgasming, and truly connecting with your partner.\u00a0 If this is an issue you\u2019ve been dealing with, you\u2019ve probably tried to just snap out of it, but it\u2019s not that simple. With all the pressures society puts on sex, it\u2019s hard […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":152,"featured_media":28941,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[525,669],"coauthors":[],"class_list":["post-28940","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sex-tips-advice","tag-better-sex","tag-sexual-health"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nIt's All In Your Head! 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