{"id":30780,"date":"2020-08-13T12:45:30","date_gmt":"2020-08-13T10:45:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=30780"},"modified":"2020-07-28T09:49:55","modified_gmt":"2020-07-28T07:49:55","slug":"best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/","title":{"rendered":"17 Best Sex Jokes That Are Actually Good Kinda"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-30781\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/sex-jokes.jpg\" alt=\"best sex jokes\" width=\"660\" height=\"330\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/sex-jokes.jpg 660w, https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/sex-jokes-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 660px) 100vw, 660px\" \/><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> How to get laid: lie in bed, what two hours, become past tense.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> I used to date an English teacher, but they dumped me for improper use of the colon.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Q: If a blackbird makes a baby blackbird, and a bluebird makes a baby bluebird, what kind of bird makes no baby? A: Swallow.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> My girlfriend guessed I\u2019d be submissive in bed. She was right. She had me pegged from the start.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Q: What\u2019s the difference between anal and oral sex? A: Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Q: How is sex like a game of bridge? A: Unless you have a great hand, it\u2019s better with a partner.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it\u2019s clear why everyone calls me handsome.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, \u201cDo you have that book for men with small penises?\u201d The librarian looks on her computer and says, \u201cI don\u2019t know if it\u2019s in yet.\u201d He replies, \u201cYeah, that\u2019s the one.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn&#8217;t know either.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> I think sex is better than logic, but I can&#8217;t prove it.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> I walked in on my other half having sex with their personal trainer. I said, &#8220;Ok, this isn&#8217;t working out.&#8221;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> What\u2019s long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> I just found an origami porn channel, but it is paper view only.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Sex with a condom just doesn\u2019t feel as good as sex with a person.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Me and my friend were masturbating to some hardcore dinosaur pornography. Unfortunately, my mothersaurus.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Q: What\u2019s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? A: The taste.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to get laid: lie in bed, what two hours, become past tense. I used to date an English teacher, but they dumped me for improper use of the colon. Q: If a blackbird makes a baby blackbird, and a bluebird makes a baby bluebird, what kind of bird makes no baby? A: Swallow. My girlfriend guessed I\u2019d be submissive in bed. She was right. She had me pegged from the start. Q: What\u2019s the difference between anal and oral [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27,"featured_media":30781,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"coauthors":[],"class_list":["post-30780","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sex-tips-advice"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.8.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>17 Best Sex Jokes That Are Actually Good Kinda<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"17 Best Sex Jokes That Are Actually Good Kinda\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How to get laid: lie in bed, what two hours, become past tense. I used to date an English teacher, but they dumped me for improper use of the colon. Q: If a blackbird makes a baby blackbird, and a bluebird makes a baby bluebird, what kind of bird makes no baby? A: Swallow. My girlfriend guessed I\u2019d be submissive in bed. She was right. She had me pegged from the start. Q: What\u2019s the difference between anal and oral [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Volont\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LELO.Official\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-08-13T10:45:30+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/sex-jokes.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"660\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"330\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Stuart Nugent\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Stuart Nugent\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/\",\"name\":\"17 Best Sex Jokes That Are Actually Good Kinda\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/sex-jokes.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-08-13T10:45:30+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/1605b31c2d1346d864aae6f6c44dac50\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/sex-jokes.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/sex-jokes.jpg\",\"width\":660,\"height\":330,\"caption\":\"best sex jokes\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Volonte\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Sex Tips &amp; Advice\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sex-tips-advice\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"17 Best Sex Jokes That Are Actually Good Kinda\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Volont\u00e9\",\"description\":\"A Pleasure Project by LELO\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/1605b31c2d1346d864aae6f6c44dac50\",\"name\":\"Stuart Nugent\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/fa5a6a14328b3190731a72f994c90afb\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/2f4d70a8164cd4edeb201ab59dc8657d?s=96&d=mm&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/2f4d70a8164cd4edeb201ab59dc8657d?s=96&d=mm&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Stuart Nugent\"},\"description\":\"With 16 years in the adult industry, including many years at LELO, it's fair to say Stu has been around the sex toy block a few times. As LELO's resident sex geek, he's been featured in the Independent, the Guardian, HuffPost, Vice, Cosmopolitan, and anywhere people talk about sex. Here on Volonte, he turns his spotlight onto the important events affecting sex right now in a regular op-ed. Views are his own.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/stu-nugent-48971b31\/\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/author\/stuart\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"17 Best Sex Jokes That Are Actually Good Kinda","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"17 Best Sex Jokes That Are Actually Good Kinda","og_description":"How to get laid: lie in bed, what two hours, become past tense. I used to date an English teacher, but they dumped me for improper use of the colon. Q: If a blackbird makes a baby blackbird, and a bluebird makes a baby bluebird, what kind of bird makes no baby? A: Swallow. My girlfriend guessed I\u2019d be submissive in bed. She was right. She had me pegged from the start. Q: What\u2019s the difference between anal and oral [&hellip;]","og_url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/","og_site_name":"Volont\u00e9","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LELO.Official\/","article_published_time":"2020-08-13T10:45:30+00:00","og_image":[{"width":660,"height":330,"url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/sex-jokes.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Stuart Nugent","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@Lelo_Official","twitter_site":"@Lelo_Official","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Stuart Nugent","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/","url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/","name":"17 Best Sex Jokes That Are Actually Good Kinda","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/sex-jokes.jpg","datePublished":"2020-08-13T10:45:30+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/1605b31c2d1346d864aae6f6c44dac50"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/sex-jokes.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/sex-jokes.jpg","width":660,"height":330,"caption":"best sex jokes"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/best-sex-jokes-that-are-actually-good\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Volonte","item":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Sex Tips &amp; Advice","item":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sex-tips-advice\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"17 Best Sex Jokes That Are Actually Good Kinda"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/","name":"Volont\u00e9","description":"A Pleasure Project by LELO","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/1605b31c2d1346d864aae6f6c44dac50","name":"Stuart Nugent","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/fa5a6a14328b3190731a72f994c90afb","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/2f4d70a8164cd4edeb201ab59dc8657d?s=96&d=mm&r=pg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/2f4d70a8164cd4edeb201ab59dc8657d?s=96&d=mm&r=pg","caption":"Stuart Nugent"},"description":"With 16 years in the adult industry, including many years at LELO, it's fair to say Stu has been around the sex toy block a few times. As LELO's resident sex geek, he's been featured in the Independent, the Guardian, HuffPost, Vice, Cosmopolitan, and anywhere people talk about sex. Here on Volonte, he turns his spotlight onto the important events affecting sex right now in a regular op-ed. Views are his own.","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/stu-nugent-48971b31\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/author\/stuart\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30780","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/27"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30780"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30780\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30800,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30780\/revisions\/30800"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/30781"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30780"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30780"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30780"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=30780"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}