{"id":31257,"date":"2020-09-21T13:00:55","date_gmt":"2020-09-21T11:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=31257"},"modified":"2023-11-03T06:01:27","modified_gmt":"2023-11-03T05:01:27","slug":"do-you-have-a-higher-sex-drive-than-your-partner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/do-you-have-a-higher-sex-drive-than-your-partner\/","title":{"rendered":"Do You Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Your Partner?"},"content":{"rendered":"

We often discuss dealing with a partner with a higher sex drive than you<\/a>. But what if you <\/span>are<\/span><\/i> that partner? What advice is there for those of us whose sexual appetite isn\u2019t being fulfilled?<\/span><\/p>\n

LELO has compiled 5 tough-love tips to help cope with a higher level of sexual desire than your partner when you\u2019re dedicated to making it work. Unfortunately, it means you might need to adapt your own behavior to compromise with your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

1. It\u2019s Not All About You<\/strong><\/h2>\n

It\u2019s fairly normal for couples to have varying levels of sexual desire, and it\u2019s hard not to take it personally when your advances are constantly rebuffed. But you need to remember that a partner\u2019s lack of sexual interest may have very little to do with any of your attributes. It could be related to a hormone deficiency or physiological issue.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

More likely, it could be about their sense of themselves, rather than a reflection of you. It\u2019s not easy for them to know that you want more sex than they can offer, so while it may be painful for you, it\u2019s probably painful for them too. To improve the situation for both of you, you need to understand their perspective as best you can.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Change Tact<\/strong><\/h2>\n

If you\u2019re regularly frustrated by the lack of sexual activity in your relationship, and you want to do something about it, you need to approach the situation differently. Clearly your current behavior isn\u2019t working, so it\u2019s time to change your approach because it\u2019s likely you have both slipped into opposite roles with each other. You pursue them for sex, they decline, you push harder, they feel pressured, tension mounts, nothing gets resolved.<\/span><\/p>\n

Back away a little bit, allow them a little room to be comfortable, and remember number 1: this isn\u2019t all about your needs. Take a break from trying to initiate sex, and wait a week or two. Sometimes the pressure you\u2019re putting on your partner is what\u2019s pushing them away \u2013 they may respond more positively in time if they are simply allowed to respond by their own volition.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Masturbate<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Masturbation is awesome<\/a>. I honestly don\u2019t know why we aren\u2019t doing it all the time. It\u2019s a wonder we ever get anything else done. But more importantly, it\u2019s an important pressure valve for both partners in a relationship. It\u2019s not reasonable to expect a partner to take care of each and every need, so use some time to focus and concentrate on yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s a good chance you\u2019re already doing this more than you\u2019re letting on, and as such, it feels secretive and shameful, and you might be resenting your partner for putting you in this position. But that\u2019s the wrong way to look at it. Embrace it as a valid and nourishing outlet for sexual expression. It might take a difficult conversation with your partner to explain why you\u2019re doing it so you don\u2019t have to do it in secret, but honestly, if your masturbation has already led to resentment, it\u2019s a conversation that needs to be had urgently.<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Be Intimate Without Expecting Sex<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Many of us don\u2019t realize we\u2019re doing it, but many of us only really touch our partners affectionately when we want sex. If the partner with the lower sexual desire learns to recognize these touches as representing a sexual initiation, it can lead them to resent the intimate touching, if they\u2019re already aware of the discrepancy between your sex drives. That\u2019s only going to compound the wedge between you.<\/span><\/p>\n

You need to show more affection without sexual implications. Affection and intimacy should permeate the relationship, not just be the hostages to sexual desire, and showing more affection separate from sex will reassure your partner that you\u2019re in the relationship for more than the physical parts. Therefore, there\u2019s less pressure on them, and they\u2019re more likely to relax and be comfortable with you.<\/span><\/p>\n

5. Be Honest<\/strong><\/h2>\n

As the more sexual person in your relationship, the temptation to seek sex out beyond the limits of your current partnership without your partner\u2019s knowledge or permission will inevitably cause more trouble than it\u2019s worth. Cheating is cheating, whatever the reason.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Before the temptation to step out of line and find another partner with whom you can indulge your sex drive, make sure your partner knows how serious the situation is. It goes without saying that you should remain honest and communicate openly<\/a> in every point made so far, but this one, when it\u2019s come so far that you\u2019re considering the merits of cheating, is the point at which you really need to face up to your responsibility, and your partner needs to face up to theirs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tell your partner, calmly, and not in the heat of an argument, that you\u2019ve considered exploring sex outside the relationship to satisfy your needs, and that if things don\u2019t change, you\u2019re not sure what the outcome might be. If they are unwilling to put in the effort to see if they can compromise and accommodate you, perhaps the relationship has run its course. Perhaps they might even be on board with you seeking sex beyond the relationship. Perhaps they make you realize your demands are unrealistic. However it pans out, at least through honesty you\u2019ll get some of your doubts answered.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We often discuss dealing with a partner with a higher sex drive than you. But what if you are that partner? What advice is there for those of us whose sexual appetite isn\u2019t being fulfilled? LELO has compiled 5 tough-love tips to help cope with a higher level of sexual desire than your partner when you\u2019re dedicated to making it work. Unfortunately, it means you might need to adapt your own behavior to compromise with your partner. 1. It\u2019s Not […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27,"featured_media":31258,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[925,924],"tags":[],"coauthors":[946],"class_list":["post-31257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-committed","category-dating"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDo You Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Your Partner?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/do-you-have-a-higher-sex-drive-than-your-partner\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Do You Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Your Partner?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We often discuss dealing with a partner with a higher sex drive than you. But what if you are that partner? What advice is there for those of us whose sexual appetite isn\u2019t being fulfilled? LELO has compiled 5 tough-love tips to help cope with a higher level of sexual desire than your partner when you\u2019re dedicated to making it work. Unfortunately, it means you might need to adapt your own behavior to compromise with your partner. 1. 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