{"id":31766,"date":"2020-10-28T12:39:07","date_gmt":"2020-10-28T11:39:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=31766"},"modified":"2024-04-14T20:41:30","modified_gmt":"2024-04-14T18:41:30","slug":"end-kink-shaming-be-kink-positive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/end-kink-shaming-be-kink-positive\/","title":{"rendered":"End Kink Shaming & Be Kink Positive"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you\u2019ve read one of my previous articles, you\u2019ll know that <\/span>a kink and a fetish are two different things<\/span><\/a>. And today, we\u2019ll be zoning in on the term: kink. First off\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\"End<\/p>\n

What Does \u2018Kink\u2019 Mean?<\/span><\/h2>\n

A kink is something that someone finds arousing but that\u2019s generally not considered mainstream sexual. It\u2019s hard to really pin-point the definition because kinks come in all different shapes and sizes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But, some examples could include engaging in role play, using <\/span>cuffs<\/span><\/a> in the bedroom to enhance the experience or create arousal, <\/span>spanking<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>exhibitionism<\/span><\/a> or <\/span>voyeurism<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

And now that you\u2019re more familiar with what a kink is, let\u2019s get a little more up close and personal with the idea. The goal is to remove feelings of shame surrounding sexuality and kink and to guide you on how you can be more kink-positive in the bedroom!<\/span><\/p>\n

Ending Kink Shame<\/span><\/h2>\n

For the longest time, \u201cunusual sexual acts\u201d were seen as deviant or pathological. This is because of a study conducted in 1886 by German psychiatrist, <\/span>Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

But of course, with time comes knowledge! And a <\/span>2016 study<\/span><\/a> done by psychologist Christian Joyal found that nearly half of his test subjects were interested in at least one or more of these \u201cunusual sexual behaviors\u201d mentioned by von Krafft-Ebing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Not only that, but one-third of these individuals had pursued one or more of these behaviors, which was linked to higher levels of life satisfaction. What does that tell us? Well, kink is alive and well, and is actually making people happier!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But what led researchers such as von Krafft-Ebing to believe that these kinds of sexual behaviors were devious?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For one, a study by psychologist Keely Kolmes showed that individuals were simply too ashamed to mention their kinks and less mainstream sexual interests to their therapists. They too found that many professionals showed unfavorable attitudes towards these sexual acts, which further increased levels of shame.<\/span><\/p>\n

Additionally, in the past, many <\/span>mental health<\/span> professionals lacked training and used their own ignorance to place judgment and shame on their patients.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The good news is, the stigma attached to kinky behaviour has drastically decreased with time and education. In 2010, a set of guidelines were set in motion for mental health professionals to start understanding, accepting, and learning about sexuality in all of its glory<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a nutshell, the document teaches us that von Krafft-Ebing (and those who believed his theories) were wrong, and that <\/span>sexual kinks<\/span> can actually be healthy and healing.<\/span><\/p>\n

The point is, given the above research, it\u2019s evident that a considerable amount of people all over the world enjoy, and practice, kinky behavior, and that it\u2019s something that should not be deemed \u201cdevious\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There is no reason to be ashamed about kinky practices, especially if said-kink brings you happiness and sexual satisfaction!<\/span><\/p>\n

Having said that, let\u2019s dive into the good stuff\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

3 Different Ways You Can Incorporate Kink in the Bedroom<\/span><\/h2>\n

1. Blindfolds<\/span><\/h3>\n

When two partners have unhindered trust, using <\/span>a blindfold<\/span><\/a> can be extremely erotic. And sure, you may have tried it before, but what really counts is what happens <\/span>while<\/span><\/i> the blindfolded is worn.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re the one taking the reins, you can tease and please your lover who will literally be in the dark, unable to know what will happen next. This heightens the sexual tension, and (if you\u2019re prone to feeling self-conscious in the bedroom), gives you the opportunity to let go and play without any judgment.<\/span><\/p>\n

While your partner is blindfolded you could try <\/span>temperature play<\/span><\/a>. For example, using ice cubes or candle wax to create sensations on the skin, or take a swig of warm chocolate sauce and then giving them oral sex.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Restraints<\/span><\/h3>\n

You could pair the blindfold with restraints, or simply use them on their own. Either way, restraints are an excellent start to exploring kink, as they give you both the experience of power play.<\/span><\/p>\n

There are tons of different things you can use to <\/span>restrain your partner<\/span><\/a>, from handcuffs to ropes, ties and other bondage equipment. You could also use your body weight to restrain them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re going to start with restraining equipment, you could:<\/b><\/p>\n