{"id":34143,"date":"2021-05-10T13:00:30","date_gmt":"2021-05-10T11:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=34143"},"modified":"2026-02-18T06:02:17","modified_gmt":"2026-02-18T05:02:17","slug":"tips-for-paralysed-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/tips-for-paralysed-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Paralysed Sex: What You Need To Know About Sex and Spinal Cord Injuries"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a> \"lelo<\/a><\/p>\n

Physical disabilities can have an important impact on many different aspects of daily life, including sex. Unfortunately, however, sex and disability is a taboo topic of discussion that is rarely addressed, even by healthcare providers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It is important to break down the barriers to discussing sex and disability because everyone\u2014regardless of their ability status\u2014is deserving of pleasure and sex education. Plus, sex plays a vital role in maintaining physical and psychological health and promoting healthy relationships, so why should anyone be denied these opportunities?<\/span><\/p>\n

In this article, we are going to explore sex and disability in the context of persons with spinal cord injuries who have either <\/span>paraplegia<\/span><\/i> (paralysis of the legs) or <\/span>quadriplegia<\/span><\/i> (paralysis of the arms and legs). We will explore the answers to common questions people have on this subject and tips on having better sex.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Can paralysed people have sex?<\/h3>\n

It\u2019s not uncommon for people to ask, <\/span>\u201cCan paraplegics have sex?\u201d<\/span><\/i> or <\/span>\u201cCan quadriplegics have sex?\u201d<\/span><\/i> The answer to both questions is a resounding yes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Just because you have a loss of movement or sensation in some parts of the body doesn\u2019t necessarily mean that you can\u2019t have sex. It doesn\u2019t mean that you don\u2019t desire it, either.<\/span><\/p>\n

People who are paralyzed are often incorrectly assumed to be asexual, but this is inaccurate. <\/span>According to Andrew Gurza, a disability awareness consultant and host of the <\/span>Disability After Dark podcast<\/span>, \u201cThere are disabled people who are indeed asexual, but to assume people are asexual because of disability is ableist and says more about you than them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

So don\u2019t make assumptions about someone\u2019s sexuality based on the fact that they have a disability. Don\u2019t make assumptions about a disabled person\u2019s genital function, either.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Among persons with spinal cord injuries, there is wide variability in genital function depending on where the injury occurred and whether the injury was complete or incomplete. For example, <\/span>research has found<\/span><\/a> that many men and women with such injuries (including those who are quadriplegics) can still experience <\/span>reflexive arousal<\/span><\/i>, which is genital arousal that occurs in response to physical stimulation, such as the penis becoming erect or the vagina lubricating.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Spinal cord injuries don\u2019t necessarily impair orgasm, either. For example, <\/span>in one study of quadriplegic men<\/span><\/a>, 38% reported the ability to orgasm with ejaculation.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

However, even if genital functioning is impacted to some extent, this doesn\u2019t necessarily mean that sex is no longer pleasurable. \u201c<\/span>Even if their genitalia doesn\u2019t work in conventional ways, that doesn\u2019t mean they aren\u2019t enjoying themselves,\u201d Gurza says.<\/span><\/p>\n

For this reason, if you\u2014or your partner\u2014have a spinal cord injury, it\u2019s important to communicate<\/a> and avoid making assumptions. It is essential for the disabled partner(s) to have space to communicate what they want and what works for their body.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Paraplegic sex<\/h3>\n

When one or both partners have a disability, sex might not look exactly like the sex you\u2019re used to seeing or that you might see in the world of porn. It\u2019s therefore important to be open-minded and to be willing to explore and experiment a little based on each partner\u2019s accessibility needs.<\/span><\/p>\n

For someone with paraplegia (impaired mobility and sensation in the legs), the fact that they still have upper body movement opens the door to a lot of different options for exploring sexual activity. For example, they may be able to perform modified versions of a number of traditional sex positions, including face-to-face intercourse and doggystyle sex while seated in a wheelchair (see <\/span>here<\/span><\/a> for a more detailed description of potential wheelchair sex positions).<\/span><\/p>\n

Oral sex, anal sex, kinky sex\u2014it\u2019s all potentially still on the table. The key is being creative and adaptable and figuring out ways of making it work for each partner. This may mean relying more heavily on sex toys or using pillows, wedges, or other tools to provide the necessary level of assistance and comfort.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Quadriplegic sex<\/h3>\n

For someone with quadriplegia (impaired mobility and sensation in both the arms and legs), creativity and adaptability are again the key because fewer of the traditional positions may be feasible, even with modifications. However, some of the considerations might be a little different.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, there may be more issues with genital function that might need to be addressed first, in which case various sexual aides can potentially be pursued if desired, such as erectile dysfunction medication, penile injections, vacuum pumps, cock rings<\/a>, or potentially even penile implants. Alternatively, if vaginal lubrication is impaired, use of artificial lubes<\/a> can help with this.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, keep in mind that sex\u2014and even orgasm for that matter\u2014doesn\u2019t have to be all about a focus on the genitals. In fact, it doesn\u2019t necessarily have to have a genital component at all. For instance, some people with spinal cord injuries learn to create new erogenous zones<\/a>. Also, when genital sensation is completely lost, some parts of the body where sensation still exists may become even more sensitive, such as the ears or the neck.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It may even be possible to learn to orgasm from stimulation of these other body areas, because we know that\u2014even in able-bodied people\u2014genital stimulation is not essential for orgasm. What we\u2019re talking about here are <\/span>non-genital orgasms<\/span><\/i>, and they\u2019ve been known to occur from stimulation of the nipples<\/a>, lips, and other parts of the body.<\/span><\/p>\n

Masturbation and\/or body exploration with a partner is therefore often the best starting point for someone with a disability. It may take some time and patience to figure out what works best for your body and is most pleasurable, so take your time and, above all, communicate with your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

What it\u2019s like to have sex with a paraplegic or quadriplegic partner<\/h3>\n

If your partner develops a spinal cord injury or you otherwise become intimate with someone who has such an injury, the truth of the matter is that sex itself probably won\u2019t feel all that different for you, but it may look different from the sex you\u2019re used to having.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Consent and communication are key when it comes to having great sex\u2014and this is true whether your partner is able-bodied or disabled. However, open-mindedness is really crucial in the context of sex and disability<\/a>. You need to be willing to explore new positions, new activities, and new toys<\/a>\u2014and you need to be willing to take a more expansive view of what sex is.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s important to toss the old sexual scripts aside and work with your partner to come up with a new script that takes their wants and needs into account.<\/span><\/p>\n

A broader change in mindset is important, too. Don\u2019t think of sex and disability as inherently limiting\u2014think of it instead as liberating. Sex doesn\u2019t have to look a certain way or follow the standard narrative. You and your partner(s) have the opportunity to customize it and define pleasure on your own terms.<\/span><\/p>\n

Conclusions<\/h3>\n

Spinal cord injuries do not have to be the end of your sex life\u2014and they don\u2019t have to be the end of great sex, either. However, the key to navigating sex post-injury is to discard unfounded stereotypes and assumptions about sex and disability, dismantle traditional sexual scripts, and bring some creativity into the bedroom.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Physical disabilities can have an important impact on many different aspects of daily life, including sex. Unfortunately, however, sex and disability is a taboo topic of discussion that is rarely addressed, even by healthcare providers.\u00a0 It is important to break down the barriers to discussing sex and disability because everyone\u2014regardless of their ability status\u2014is deserving of pleasure and sex education. Plus, sex plays a vital role in maintaining physical and psychological health and promoting healthy relationships, so why should anyone […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":211,"featured_media":34144,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[909,137,669],"coauthors":[934,943],"class_list":["post-34143","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sexual-health","tag-fact-checked-by-doctor","tag-health","tag-sexual-health"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nTips for Paralysed Sex: What You Should Know Sex & Spinal Cord Injuries<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Can paraplegic and quadriplegic people have sex? 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