{"id":36600,"date":"2021-08-18T13:00:33","date_gmt":"2021-08-18T11:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=36600"},"modified":"2021-09-06T13:48:20","modified_gmt":"2021-09-06T11:48:20","slug":"sex-after-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sex-after-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Sex After Kids: How To Rekindle the Flame in the Bedroom After Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"

Many couples suffer from having less sex after having kids. One of the latest Netflix shows, Sex\/life, explores the life of a woman who had lost part of herself after getting married and having children and whose husband doesn’t seem to see her as a sexual being anymore.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Our heroine, Billie, used to lead a very sexually active and adventurous life, and now she only gets to fantasize about it and about her ex-boyfriend, who seemed to be more receptive to her sexual needs than her husband.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, nobody would want a scenario like this in real life, feeling disconnected from your partner and like you’re only there to care for the house and children.<\/span><\/p>\n

The good news is that most people won’t have to go the scandalous lengths that Billie had to go, and there are many small things you can try to keep the flame in the bedroom going even after ten years of marriage and having kids.<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Open Communication Line Once More<\/span><\/h2>\n

The chances are that when life got busy with housework, kids, and all the other adult responsibilities, the communication line between you and your partner<\/a> also got cut off. Communication in a relationship is hard, so it’s a normal thing to happen.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In the show Sex\/life, Billie and her husband are clearly not on the same page when it comes to their sex life. She’s unhappy and unsatisfied, while he’s absolutely content in the way things are and never thought there was an issue until he found her secret sex journal.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe you’re ready to get dirty and do some work to get the flame back in the bedroom, but you’re not sure whether your partner is ready to do the same. Without communication, it’s hard to know whether your partner’s needs match yours.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The first step in getting back into the routine of sex after kids is to open up those rusty lines of communication and <\/span>share your ideas<\/span>, thoughts, and needs with your partner. Jumping straight into being sexually active doesn’t happen overnight, and taking steps that are not sexual can be way less intimidating than jumping straight into bed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Start by Taking Care of Yourself First<\/span><\/h2>\n

It’s no secret that a lot of <\/span>women suffer from body image issues<\/span> after they’ve had kids. It’s a normal part of life, and people’s bodies change as they age and as they go through different stages of life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In order for you to have sex, you have to feel like having sex. While most men can find their libido and want sex on a whim, <\/span>women tend to work a bit differently<\/span><\/a>. Some women need to feel sexy and beautiful for them to want to have sex. (1)<\/span><\/p>\n

So, start by incorporating a little bit of self-care. It might be difficult to plan spa trips and long baths with kids and other responsibilities, but even putting on a face mask in the evening and sitting with a book for 20 minutes counts towards rekindling the love for yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This is also a chance for one partner to show that they care by watching the kids in the evening and taking over the responsibilities, so the other partner could enjoy a bit of self-love. And this will be another step towards having great sex even after kids.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Rekindle the Relationship Outside the Bedroom<\/span><\/h2>\n

If you’re experiencing issues outside the bedroom and are feeling frustrated with your partner about their job or how they didn’t clean the dishes when you asked them to, it might also be hard to get into the zone for some sensual and hot sex.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Wild sex after kids is possible, and it actually starts outside the bedroom.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So, before you even start thinking about any sexual experiences, try working on the relationship outside of sex. This could be done in different ways:<\/span><\/p>\n