{"id":36825,"date":"2021-09-22T13:00:26","date_gmt":"2021-09-22T11:00:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=36825"},"modified":"2021-10-04T17:14:30","modified_gmt":"2021-10-04T15:14:30","slug":"bdsm-starter-guide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/bdsm-starter-guide\/","title":{"rendered":"A Starter Guide: What is a BDSM Scene?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, you\u2019re on a journey, learning the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/terms-of-entantanglement-bdsm-kink-glossary\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">BDSM lingo<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and educating yourself about the different aspects of BDSM life. How fun!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36826\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/what-is-bdsm-scene-starter-guide_850x425-1.jpg\" alt=\"what is bdsm scene starter guide\" width=\"850\" height=\"425\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/what-is-bdsm-scene-starter-guide_850x425-1.jpg 850w, https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/what-is-bdsm-scene-starter-guide_850x425-1-300x150.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/what-is-bdsm-scene-starter-guide_850x425-1-768x384.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 850px) 100vw, 850px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We love teaching and empowering our gorgeous readers so that they can live their best and most authentic sex life. And today\u2019s little sex ed lesson is all about BDSM scenes!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may be wondering what a BDSM scene is, what happens during a BDSM scene, who gets involved, rules and regulations, safety factors, and tips and tricks to making your scene a lustful and thrilling experience. Let\u2019s dive in\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<h1><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What is a BDSM Scene?<\/span><\/h1>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A BDSM scene is a pre-planned event where BDSM activities and BDSM participation takes place. The \u2018right\u2019 way to enjoy a BDSM scene would be to have a full discussion with all participants before anything takes place, and involves creating and agreeing upon specific rules, guidelines, do\u2019s and don\u2019ts, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/deciding-hard-limits-safe-words\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">limits<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and lusts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One way to look at a BDSM scene would be to describe it as a story that unfolds sensually. It\u2019s a time for both dominants and submissives to be creative while indulging in their <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/what-do-sexual-fantasies-mean\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">fantasies<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. For that reason, role playing is a big part of a BDSM scene.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The term \u2018BDSM scene\u2019 could also be used to refer to the BDSM community.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">3 Common BDSM Scene Themes for Beginners<\/span><\/h2>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">1. Role Play<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As mentioned, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/explore-sexual-role-playing\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">role play<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is very common in the BDSM scene, and it\u2019s the perfect way for beginners to get a taste of the lifestyle. Using your preferred role play scenario, you and your partner could take on different power roles, which is the essence of a dom\/sub relationship.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Some examples of easy BDSM role play ideas for beginners could include:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Teacher\/student or librarian\/student<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Doctor\/patient<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Prisoner\/guard<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fictional characters<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Consensual sleep play<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Employer\/employee<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Burglar<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Pilot\/flight attendant<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">2. Orgasm Denial<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/orgasm-denial-a-sexual-build-up-of-intense-pleasure\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Orgasm denial<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is intense, yes, but not in an intimidating way. In fact, engaging in orgasm denial often leads to more powerful orgasms.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To practice it, have one person stimulate their partner\u2019s most intimate and desired spot(s), and when they\u2019re close to climax, reduce or halt the stimulation. After a short period of time, the stimulation can continue. This can go on for as long as both partners agree.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This will have the receiver of pleasure yearning for more\u2026 so much so that when orgasm is reached, it\u2019ll be the sweetest release.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">3. Non-Sexual BDSM Scenes<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not all BDSM scenes need to be sexual! Oftentimes, those in the BDSM community gain their thrills from a combination of power play, mental stimulation, and physical stimulation\u2026 or solely from just one of these aspects.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>In a non-sexual way, a BDSM scene can be enjoyed in the following ways:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One partner cleans in a costume or naked<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One partner acts as a piece of furniture<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One partner cooks in a silly outfit or naked<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One partner does acts of service, such as being a chauffeur, a personal shopper, a masseuse\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One partner has financial domination over another (when one gains satisfaction from giving large sums of money to another<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of course, there are dozens and dozens of other BDSM scene scenarios, and it would be impossible to name them all, as it really does depend on those participating. Enjoying a BDSM scene means limitless imagination and ultimate creativity and freedom, consensually.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With that, here\u2019s a little guide on what you can expect or prepare before, during, and after a BDSM scene.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A Guide: Before a BDSM Scene<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Preparing a BDSM scene is key. Going into one without talking with your partner beforehand can be unsafe, unpleasant, or even traumatic. Together, both partners can talk about what kind of scene will be enjoyed, what role each will take, what the goals are, what things both partners enjoy, and what things both or one partner actively dislikes. Discuss to what intensity certain acts will be experienced, and make sure that both players are of sound body and mind.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then there\u2019s also the incorporation of a safe word, which will keep both parties safe during play time. For a BDSM scene to take place, there should be negotiations, agreements, respect, and consent at the beginning but also throughout.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A Guide: During a BDSM Scene<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">During your BDSM scene, the goal is for both partners to feel connected, pleasured, safe, and respected. It is a time when all else can be forgotten (errands, daily life, work stress etc.), and one can really just enjoy the moment for what it is. By adhering to all of the pre-discussed rules and goals, the experience can be intensely <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">therapeutic<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If at any time one or both partners feel uncomfortable, using a pre-discussed safe word or non-verbal action that indicates the end of a session must be used. Throughout the scene, both should be treated with respect, as both partners should have unwavering care for each other\u2019s well-being. Remember that consent is something that can be given or taken away at any time.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A Guide: After a BDSM Scene<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After a BDSM scene, many partners will engage in something called <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/aftercare-for-vanilla-sex\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">aftercare<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. This is a moment that includes comforting one another, and forms of relaxation. During this time, the mood shifts. It\u2019s when both the dominant and the submissive show love and adoration towards their partner, letting them know that they\u2019re safe, taken care of, and respected. It\u2019s also a way for partners not to feel discarded immediately after a scene, which can be very detrimental to one\u2019s mental health.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">During aftercare, partners can talk about what they enjoyed most, and how they can have an even better scene next time. Aftercare can include acts of service like bringing a partner a glass of water, physical touch such as giving one a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/mastering-the-art-of-tantric-massage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">massage<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or taking a shower together, words of affirmation that make an individual feel seen and appreciated, or whatever else brings comfort and satisfaction to both partners.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Common BDSM Limits<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While everyone is different, there are a few BDSM limits that are more common than others. A BDSM limit is something that a participant absolutely won\u2019t allow or engage in. Some common BDSM limits may include:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Blood play<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Unprotected sex<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Scat play<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/getting-started-with-golden-showers-pee-play\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Golden showers<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Claustrophobic play<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Triggers (something that involves past traumatic events)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At the end of the day, a BDSM scene will be different for everyone. How you and your partner feel the most comfortable and aroused is key, while keeping things safe and consensual. If it\u2019s your first BDSM scene, avoid pushing things to the limit.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Slowly navigate your way through the experience using your pre-discussed rules and guidelines, and find the best kind of fun for both parties. The aim is pleasure, not discomfort, so if the latter is experienced, we strongly suggest bringing your BDSM scene to a halt.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So, you\u2019re on a journey, learning the BDSM lingo and educating yourself about the different aspects of BDSM life. How fun!\u00a0 We love teaching and empowering our gorgeous readers so that they can live their best and most authentic sex life. And today\u2019s little sex ed lesson is all about BDSM scenes!\u00a0 You may be wondering what a BDSM scene is, what happens during a BDSM scene, who gets involved, rules and regulations, safety factors, and tips and tricks to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":115,"featured_media":36826,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[918],"tags":[347],"coauthors":[948],"class_list":["post-36825","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bdsm","tag-bdsm"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.8.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Your BDSM Starter Guide: What is a BDSM Scene?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"So you want to know what a BDSM scene is? 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