{"id":38263,"date":"2022-03-13T23:45:21","date_gmt":"2022-03-13T22:45:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=38025"},"modified":"2022-04-13T08:47:34","modified_gmt":"2022-04-13T06:47:34","slug":"what-do-men-really-think-about-during-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/what-do-men-really-think-about-during-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"What Do Men Really Think About During Sex?"},"content":{"rendered":"

It might surprise you that it\u2019s not \u201cBoobs. Boobs. BOOBS.\u201d There are many things that are going through a man\u2019s mind while he\u2019s making love\u2013and yes, there\u2019s a good chance he\u2019s fantasizing about someone or something else. And that\u2019s okay, because you\u2019re probably doing it too!<\/span><\/p>\n

What is he thinking during sex?<\/h2>\n

While making love, a man\u2019s mind can be racing with any number of thoughts. And while to the outside observer it might even look like his mind is at a complete blank, you can rest assured that he\u2019s thinking at least one (if not all) of the following things\u2013which may surprise you to learn are not explicitly related to the task at hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAm I doing it right?\u201d<\/h2>\n

This pervasive thought occurs no matter who is having it, and at the very least shows a willingness to please their partner. However, it is worth remembering that to be in the position to be having this thought, one must have done something right in the first place (as you are in bed, with a partner, in an intimate situation\u2013so give yourself <\/span>some<\/span><\/i> credit).<\/span><\/p>\n

When this thought arises, that\u2019s a good indication that partners need to be able to <\/span>communicate clearly on their sexual needs<\/span><\/a>. Even something as simple as \u201cRight there\u201d or \u201cSlower\u201d is all the direction it can take for a partner to get out of their own head and more fully into the moment.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIs he\/she\/they going to come?\u201d<\/h2>\n

A man might wonder if what they\u2019re doing is going to be enough to get their partner over the edge and<\/span> into climax<\/span><\/a>, which in most ways is a continuation of the \u201cAm I doing it right?\u201d thought from previously. This thought also shows a willingness to please, but at the same time we would tell this man that, to a point, one\u2019s own climax is their own responsibility.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

To explain: Partners will help each other to get into the right place in which climax is attainable, through <\/span>things like foreplay<\/span><\/a> and <\/span>stimulating their partners<\/span><\/a> in the ways they enjoy. However, a partner cannot demand that their S.O. gives them an orgasm. Partners need to take ownership of their own pleasure\u2013it\u2019s not selfish to do so, and guarantees that both parties come away satisfied.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t come. Don\u2019t come. Don\u2019tcomedontcomedontcomedontcomedontcome.\u201d<\/h2>\n

Some guys, if dealing with things like premature ejaculation or just really feeling themselves and enjoying the experience, may be worried about reaching orgasm too quickly and thus ending the intimacy. It bears repeating though that sex doesn\u2019t end with your orgasm. Even after one partner reaches climax, they can continue to assist their partner in achieving theirs. When with a female partner, don\u2019t be surprised if they happen to<\/span> finish themselves off<\/span><\/a> by <\/span>using a vibrator or sex toy<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Any guy who worries about coming too soon can always speak up and say that they\u2019re about to bust and whether they should slow down or focus on their partner\u2019s needs for a bit. As with most things, <\/span>good sex requires communication<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fantasizing about someone else\u2013is that okay?\u201d<\/h2>\n

Yes, he\u2019s very likely among the vast majority of men who report fantasizing about another person or situation during lovemaking. However, he\u2019s likely not the only one, as women will also fantasize during sex, <\/span>at rates only slightly less than men<\/span><\/a> do. In a <\/span>1990 study<\/span><\/a> of 178 men and women, 84% claimed to fantasize during sex.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is by no means a problem though, as long as partners can be honest with themselves and not carry guilt about their own fantasies. The same 1990 study found that those who harbored guilt about these totally natural fantasies reported less sexual satisfaction. <\/span>Partners who talk openly about what they fantasize about<\/span><\/a> (with some candor, of course) can actually enjoy better sex, as it lets each person into the other\u2019s sexual world.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It might surprise you that it\u2019s not \u201cBoobs. Boobs. BOOBS.\u201d There are many things that are going through a man\u2019s mind while he\u2019s making love\u2013and yes, there\u2019s a good chance he\u2019s fantasizing about someone or something else. And that\u2019s okay, because you\u2019re probably doing it too! What is he thinking during sex? While making love, a man\u2019s mind can be racing with any number of thoughts. And while to the outside observer it might even look like his mind is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":101,"featured_media":38359,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[924,21,923],"tags":[525,149],"coauthors":[951],"class_list":["post-38263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating","category-sex-tips-advice","category-single","tag-better-sex","tag-men"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Do Men Really Think About During Sex?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Boys and girls, we're all thinking it\u2014What do men really think about during sex? 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Chances are you've probably had one of these thoughts.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/what-do-men-really-think-about-during-sex\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Volont\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LELO.Official\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-03-13T22:45:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-04-13T06:47:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/what-do-men-think-about-during-sex_850x425.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"850\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"425\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Colin Hanna\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Colin Hanna\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/what-do-men-really-think-about-during-sex\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/what-do-men-really-think-about-during-sex\/\",\"name\":\"What Do Men Really Think About During Sex?\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/what-do-men-really-think-about-during-sex\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/what-do-men-really-think-about-during-sex\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/what-do-men-think-about-during-sex_850x425.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-03-13T22:45:21+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-04-13T06:47:34+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/b05ae92fa221c5498138edf9f7df8049\"},\"description\":\"Boys and girls, we're all thinking it\u2014What do men really think about during sex? 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