{"id":38271,"date":"2022-03-21T13:45:26","date_gmt":"2022-03-21T12:45:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=38058"},"modified":"2022-04-13T08:42:09","modified_gmt":"2022-04-13T06:42:09","slug":"what-are-some-first-date-red-flags","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/what-are-some-first-date-red-flags\/","title":{"rendered":"What Are Some First Date Red Flags?"},"content":{"rendered":"

So you\u2019re getting ready for a first date. How exhilarating! Is your tummy filled with butterflies, creating a slew of <\/span>anxiety<\/span><\/a>, intrigue, and excitement? Are you preparing to look and feel your best, to make a great impression, and hopefully get whatever it is you want out of this date?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe you\u2019re looking for a partner, a <\/span>long term relationship<\/span><\/a>, or even just <\/span>friends with benefits<\/span><\/a>. Good for you! We know how hard it can be to date, especially in today\u2019s online dating world.<\/span><\/p>\n

7 First Date Red Flags<\/span><\/h1>\n

You deserve an excellent first date, but also the ability to save yourself the chance of experiencing heartache and disappointment later on down the line.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Whatever it is you\u2019re searching for, it\u2019s still important to be <\/span>mindful<\/span> while in the presence of your date. So, herewith, a list of 7 first date red flags to look out for.<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Let\u2019s Talk About Sex!<\/span><\/h2>\n

Now of course this red flag wouldn\u2019t apply for those who are solely looking for something physical and sexually intimate. But, if you\u2019re dating in hopes of finding a partner, take note of <\/span>if<\/span><\/i> and <\/span>how<\/span><\/i> they <\/span>talk about sex<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You should know that having sex with you is a privilege that they aren\u2019t entitled to it. So if they\u2019re constantly talking about this subject, it doesn\u2019t indicate that their main priority is to find a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve told your date that you aren\u2019t looking for this kind of thing, nor do you wish to discuss it, them talking about sex on your first date is simply disrespectful.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Happily Ever After<\/span><\/h2>\n

There is a technique called \u2018love bombing\u2019 when someone attempts to influence another by showering them with lots of attention and affection.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now whether your first date is actually love bombing or casually talking about your \u2018happily ever after\u2019 aka a bright and happy future together with kids and a dog\u2026 be cautious.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s also a red flag when your date immediately talks about wanting you to meet their parents or fancies going on elaborate <\/span>vacations<\/span><\/a> with you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Any big life plans brought up on a first date is something to watch out for. Just like you wouldn\u2019t make plans with the stranger sitting next to you on the train, a first date is essentially that\u2013a stranger.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Needs, Needs, Needs<\/span><\/h2>\n

The devil is in the details. If your first date uses the word \u2018need\u2019 on a regular basis, for example: <\/span>\u201cI need to find stability in my life,<\/span><\/i>\u201d <\/span>\u201cI need my partner to be xyx,\u201d<\/span><\/i> or<\/span> \u201cI need xyz to be happy,\u201d<\/span><\/i> it\u2019s a red flag. This could indicate that they have a victim mentality, and\/or that they\u2019re wrestling with low self-worth.<\/span><\/p>\n

Regardless, <\/span>compromise<\/span><\/a> is important in a relationship. If you\u2019re interested in a second date or a possible future down the line, using \u201cI need\u201d statements shows a lack of compromise.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Using statements such as \u201cI would like\u201d or \u201cI am looking for\u201d is much softer, and more realistic.<\/span><\/p>\n

4. How Do They Treat Staff?<\/span><\/h2>\n

A lot of first dates include going to a restaurant for a meal, <\/span>having a drink at a bar<\/span><\/a>, or visiting the cinema. And in this situation, you have the opportunity to see how your date treats the staff. And actually, the way in which they interact with staff reveals a lot about their personality.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow others treat the CEO says nothing. But how others treat the waiter is like a magical window into the soul,\u201d <\/span><\/i>says <\/span>Del Jones<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>USA Today<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

If your date is rude and demanding, it could reveal that they\u2019re not team players, which could be a big red flag when considering the future.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Not only that, but they may have something called a \u2018situational value system\u2019, which is when they treat people according to their status. This disrespect and inconsistency is a big no-no, so pay careful attention to this if you\u2019re out and about on a first date.<\/span><\/p>\n

5. A Battle to Maintain Your Attention<\/span><\/h2>\n

By saying \u2018a battle to maintain your attention\u2019, we mean when your first date <\/span>uses their phone<\/span><\/a> when with you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Did you know that in a <\/span>2018 study<\/span><\/a>, the number one turn-off for women was when their date checked their phone regularly whilst on a first date? In fact, only one in 10 found this acceptable.<\/span><\/p>\n

Studies aside, when a first date constantly checks or uses their phone it is almost always a sign that they\u2019re not interested in you or what you have to say. And what could be more disrespectful than not giving someone your undivided attention?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

With that, now is the perfect time to mention one of the <\/span>5 Love Languages\u2013<\/span><\/a>quality time. There are some people who really appreciate it when the person they\u2019re with gives them focused one-on-one quality time, during <\/span>a first date<\/span><\/a> or any other situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

6. Lateness\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

When someone is late to meet you, it\u2019s a simple way of saying that their time is more important than yours.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, there can be a valid reason for being late, in which case a phone call or <\/span>text<\/span><\/a> well in advance could suffice, but the golden rule of thumb is undoubtedly to be on time. In fact, etiquette says that arriving around 15 minutes early is the best way to go about meeting someone, whether it\u2019s a first date or a regular meet up.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The truth is, being late is a choice not an accident. And interestingly, this kind of behaviour could indicate other red flags, such as being scatter-brained, a big procrastinator, or less considerate of others. It could also show that accountability doesn\u2019t matter, and that\u2019s never <\/span>good in a relationship<\/span>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Simply put: time is money. When someone leaves you waiting, it is your time and energy wasted that could have been put to better use elsewhere.<\/span><\/p>\n

7. Do They Talk About Their Ex?<\/span><\/h2>\n

There is a time and place to talk about past experiences and relationships. When a first date brings up their ex it could be okay, depending on <\/span>what<\/span><\/i> they\u2019re saying and <\/span>how much time<\/span><\/i> they spend on the topic. But in general, it\u2019s a first date red flag when someone continues to bring up their ex for three reasons.<\/span><\/p>\n

Firstly, it could indicate that they\u2019re still hung up on them. Maybe it was a recent <\/span>break up<\/span><\/a>, and\/or they\u2019re holding onto strong feelings towards them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Secondly, if they\u2019re talking ill of their ex, this could reveal a whole other slew of red flags. It may prove that your date believes their ex is responsible for all of the bad things that happened between them, indicating that they have a victim mentality.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Thirdly, if your first date mentions their ex or exes continuously, it could be a sign of disrespect or an attempt for them to compare you to their past partners.<\/span><\/p>\n

With these 7 first date red flags, we hope you have only positive first date experiences. Take your time, enjoy the process, and don\u2019t stand for any nonsense\u2013you deserve the best.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So you\u2019re getting ready for a first date. How exhilarating! Is your tummy filled with butterflies, creating a slew of anxiety, intrigue, and excitement? Are you preparing to look and feel your best, to make a great impression, and hopefully get whatever it is you want out of this date?\u00a0 Maybe you\u2019re looking for a partner, a long term relationship, or even just friends with benefits. Good for you! We know how hard it can be to date, especially in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":115,"featured_media":38339,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[924,923],"tags":[163,189],"coauthors":[948],"class_list":["post-38271","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating","category-single","tag-dating","tag-healthy-relationship"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Are Some First Date Red Flags?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/what-are-some-first-date-red-flags\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Are Some First Date Red Flags?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"So you\u2019re getting ready for a first date. How exhilarating! Is your tummy filled with butterflies, creating a slew of anxiety, intrigue, and excitement? Are you preparing to look and feel your best, to make a great impression, and hopefully get whatever it is you want out of this date?\u00a0 Maybe you\u2019re looking for a partner, a long term relationship, or even just friends with benefits. Good for you! 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