{"id":39021,"date":"2022-05-10T06:01:32","date_gmt":"2022-05-10T04:01:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=39021"},"modified":"2025-09-14T21:55:15","modified_gmt":"2025-09-14T19:55:15","slug":"infidelity-in-the-digital-age","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/infidelity-in-the-digital-age\/","title":{"rendered":"How Do You Define Infidelity in the Digital Age?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Infidelity is infidelity, right? Well, technically! But in this day and age, who\u2019s to say what cheating really is? Before the invention of the Internet\u2014heck, even before the telephone\u2014cheating meant catching a partner nestled up close to someone else.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just like the <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">movies<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, two people checking into a motel or <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hotel<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, having a cheeky kiss on the pavement, or witnessing someone having flirty conversations in public or private.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Today, however, the world has opened up to almost <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/why-do-people-cheat\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">infinite ways of cheating<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. And when partners don\u2019t clearly define what is and what isn\u2019t cheating, how is it actually possible to conclude infidelity in a relationship?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">From <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/improve-online-dating-skills\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">dating sites<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, to camming platforms, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/ins-outs-sex-social-media\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">social media<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and more, how do you define infidelity in the digital age?<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><strong>What is Infidelity in the Digital Age?<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The lines are blurred! What may be considered cheating for one may not even be an issue for another.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">watching porn<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> cheating?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is masturbating while watching porn cheating?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/give-good-sext-best-sexting-examples\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">sexting<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> cheating?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is webcamming cheating?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Does location matter when it comes to flirting and talking with someone other than a partner?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is having a dating profile cheating?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is talking to an ex cheating?<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is subscribing to platforms like OnlyFans cheating?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At the end of the day, whether any of the above are, in fact, infidelity, comes down to how two partners feel, and what they, both together and individually, consider to be cheating.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But to add a bit of concrete data into the mix, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.robertweissmsw.com\/cheating-and-infidelity\/healing-the-relationship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Robert Weiss Ph.D<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and colleagues did a study on people who had been cheated on. They were asked whether they considered <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/tinder-online-shopping-experience\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">online<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> cheating to be the same as real-life cheating.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The results? There is no difference between online and real-world betrayal. The participants agreed that being cheated on is equally as painful, whether it was in cyberspace or in an actual physical space.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And with that, they concluded that it wasn\u2019t the <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">nature<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> of the cheating that hurt, it was the <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">lying<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">secrets<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that caused distress and distrust.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">With this data, Weiss created his own definition of infidelity to reflect the results:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cInfidelity (cheating) is the breaking of trust that occurs when you keep intimate, meaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He goes on to mention that, in his definition, it is not about specific sexual or emotional acts but merely the actions that lead partners to feel betrayed: the loss of <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">trust<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. With that, however\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><strong>Can Infidelity Be Defined?<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not really! Infidelity isn\u2019t as black and white as catching your partner engaging in sexual activity with another person.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Each couple is unique. They have their own core values, history, and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/waiting-till-marriage\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">beliefs<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, and it is <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">this<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that ultimately counts when it comes to interpreting whether one is cheating or not.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For some, knowing, allowing, or finding out that their partner is talking to an ex on WhatsApp, watching porn, subscribing to camming websites, or even using online dating sites is perfectly fine. For others, it\u2019s a big no-no.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In other words, the best way to avoid feelings of mistrust and betrayal after something happens, is to actually talk to your partner beforehand. Discuss your boundaries, your idea of infidelity, and what you deem \u201cokay\u201d and \u201cnot okay\u201d (and vice versa).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It would be wrong of us, or anyone, to tell you what infidelity is in the digital age. We do, however, encourage you to stand firm in your core values and beliefs, and to set boundaries that not only keep you mentally and emotionally healthy, but that will allow you to define infidelity (whatever it may mean to you) when it happens.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Infidelity is infidelity, right? Well, technically! But in this day and age, who\u2019s to say what cheating really is? Before the invention of the Internet\u2014heck, even before the telephone\u2014cheating meant catching a partner nestled up close to someone else. Just like the movies, two people checking into a motel or hotel, having a cheeky kiss on the pavement, or witnessing someone having flirty conversations in public or private.\u00a0 Today, however, the world has opened up to almost infinite ways of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":115,"featured_media":27907,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[925],"tags":[189],"coauthors":[948],"class_list":["post-39021","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-committed","tag-healthy-relationship"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.8.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Is Your Partner Cheating? 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What is considered infidelity today, and is your partner cheating?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/infidelity-in-the-digital-age\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Volont\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LELO.Official\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-05-10T04:01:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-09-14T19:55:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/spot-if-a-new-partner-will-cheat.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"660\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"330\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Helena Lorimer\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Lelo_Official\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Helena Lorimer\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/infidelity-in-the-digital-age\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/infidelity-in-the-digital-age\/\",\"name\":\"Is Your Partner Cheating? 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