{"id":39305,"date":"2022-06-22T05:23:17","date_gmt":"2022-06-22T03:23:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=39305"},"modified":"2022-07-02T06:40:30","modified_gmt":"2022-07-02T04:40:30","slug":"taking-partner-for-granted","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/taking-partner-for-granted\/","title":{"rendered":"Signs You’re Taking Your Partner for Granted (And What to Do About It)"},"content":{"rendered":"

After a stretch of time with the same partner (we can\u2019t say how long of course, as it varies from person to person, couple to couple), we will of course forget a little of what made them so special in the first place. The initial shimmer they once brought into our lives may have dulled to a glow, entirely by no fault of their own: chances are, they\u2019re the exact same person with whom you started the relationship however long ago.<\/span><\/p>\n

Have you found yourself overlooking the contributions that your partner continues to make in your life? Everybody’s guilty of taking someone for granted from time to time, be it a parent or even a colleague. And chances are, if you are doing it, you more than likely don\u2019t even know that you are. However, despite the fact that you may be taking someone for granted unwittingly, it\u2019s still a pretty shitty way to treat someone. So, if you\u2019re doing any of the following or notice some of these occurrences in your relationship, then it’s time to take a good look at yourself and find out how to mend the situation<\/span><\/p>\n

They\u2013not you\u2013do all of the activity planning<\/b><\/h2>\n

Sure, you might just be a laid-back person who wants to \u201cgo with the flow\u201d while your partner plans all of your couple’s outings. However, that\u2019s a level of emotional commitment on the part of your partner that they don\u2019t need to be shouldering at all times. Take it upon yourself to suggest an activity or a night out for you both, as an acknowledgement that you\u2019re just as invested in sharing time together as they are.<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve let yourself go<\/b><\/h2>\n

It\u2019s a great thing to reach the point of your relationship where you can be comfortable with yourself. That night of snuggling on the couch bingeing prestige TV can turn into an entire weekend, for instance, or those sweats you saved for nights home alone may be seeing more light of day \u2013 and that\u2019s fine. We\u2019re nothing if not all about comfort and feeling good about yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, that effort that you put into your appearance back when you were trying to land your partner should not fall completely by the wayside. Making the effort to dress nice, even if it is once in a while, goes a long way to letting them know that you\u2019re still willing to impress them. Oh, and on those weekends of bingeing shows and ordering in \u2013 don\u2019t forget to brush your teeth and clean the pizza grease out of your beard. Have some respect for your partner and yourself!<\/span><\/p>\n

You don\u2019t take their free time into account<\/b><\/h2>\n

You know those times when your partner has a day off, with the house or apartment all to themselves, and you go and schedule a delivery drop-off knowing that they will be able to accept the delivery? That\u2019s an abuse of their free time. As we all know, free time is a very limited and precious commodity, and using someone else\u2019s time to perform an errand of yours \u2013 no matter how small it might seem \u2013 makes their free time much less \u2018free.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

This also applies to being late whenever you and your partner make plans and you don\u2019t bother or even try to show up on time. This is supremely disrespectful of their time, and a clear indicator of how much (or little, in the case of lateness) you value your time together.<\/span><\/p>\n

They\u2019ve grown accustomed to disappointment<\/b><\/h2>\n

When their plans that include you have built-in safeguards for when you eventually let them down (by showing up late, not showing up at all, or being negative or dragging down the mood when you eventually do show up), this is a clear sign of concern. At this point, your partner can\u2019t envision not being disappointed, and then must downgrade their own expectations thanks to you and your attitude and lack of enthusiasm. Of all the red flags out there, this is a very big one that should be waving in your partner\u2019s face \u2013 however, at this point they\u2019ve resigned themselves to less than they deserve.<\/span><\/p>\n

This list can really go on and on, but you know the other ways that taking someone for granted can manifest itself. This can be things like not checking in with them (\u201cWhat\u2019s for dinner?\u201d instead of \u201cHey, how was your day?\u201d), constantly complaining about them to other people, simply expecting them to make sacrifices that benefit you \u2013 it goes on. So if you\u2019ve realized that you\u2019ve been taking your partner for granted, what can you do to snap out of this way of thinking and being?<\/span><\/p>\n

The most important thing to do once you\u2019ve realized your thoughtless ways is to<\/span> speak up<\/b>. Saying \u201cthank you\u201d more often for the things your partner does \u2013 especially those things that you take as givens. In fact, go one step further here by sitting them down and thanking them for <\/span>all <\/span><\/i>the things they do for you, acknowledging that you don\u2019t say it enough and are going to start saying it more.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Speaking up can also extend to <\/span>giving them compliments<\/b> on how they\u2019re looking, even small things that they might not have noticed about themselves (the way a strand of hair always escapes from behind their ear when they try to push it back, say). Doing this reminds them, and to some extent yourself, that you notice them and validate them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Speaking up also involves <\/span>celebrating your partners successes and victories<\/b>, no matter how small; because in this day and age, even the small stuff can seem pretty daunting. Commend them at the end of a week of commuting, working, and dealing with home admin for keeping it all together, and perhaps even ask in what ways you could help ease their load, should you have the capacity to. The biggest way to remedy taking a partner for granted is simply seeing them and acknowledging the things they do.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After a stretch of time with the same partner (we can\u2019t say how long of course, as it varies from person to person, couple to couple), we will of course forget a little of what made them so special in the first place. The initial shimmer they once brought into our lives may have dulled to a glow, entirely by no fault of their own: chances are, they\u2019re the exact same person with whom you started the relationship however long […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":101,"featured_media":39306,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[925],"tags":[189],"coauthors":[951],"class_list":["post-39305","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-committed","tag-healthy-relationship"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSigns You're Taking Your Partner for Granted (And What to Do About It)<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/taking-partner-for-granted\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Signs You're Taking Your Partner for Granted (And What to Do About It)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"After a stretch of time with the same partner (we can\u2019t say how long of course, as it varies from person to person, couple to couple), we will of course forget a little of what made them so special in the first place. 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