{"id":39727,"date":"2022-11-09T08:39:05","date_gmt":"2022-11-09T07:39:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=39727"},"modified":"2022-11-29T01:42:32","modified_gmt":"2022-11-29T00:42:32","slug":"feeling-butterflies-vs-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/feeling-butterflies-vs-love\/","title":{"rendered":"FYI: Butterflies Aren\u2019t the Same as Being in Love"},"content":{"rendered":"

Aren’t butterflies fantastical? In the literal sense of the word, sure, but figuratively\u2026 like when you see someone that makes you all giddy. That experience of joy, excitement, but also nervousness\u2026 wow! It truly can make you feel alive!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So, imagine this scenario: you see someone you\u2019re attracted to, or you look at your partner. That feeling of butterflies suddenly enters your stomach, and you just know that there\u2019s something happening.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Is it <\/span>love<\/span>? Is it <\/span>lust<\/span>? Is it just a mere feeling of chemistry that you share with that person?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sorry to shatter your <\/span>dreams<\/span>, but actually\u2026 it certainly isn\u2019t love. And let us tell you why!<\/span><\/p>\n

Having Butterflies is Not the Same as Being in Love<\/span><\/h1>\n

First off\u2026 having butterflies isn\u2019t remarkable. We can probably all attest to having felt this sensation at some point in our lives, if not multiple times. This in itself is highly likely to indicate that it\u2019s not a feeling of <\/span>true love<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Not just that, but this feeling isn\u2019t any kind of reliable metric for assessing long-term <\/span>compatibility<\/span> and potential success of partnership either. There\u2019s no correlation between long-term happiness or sexual satisfaction and the feeling of butterflies.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

While this all does sound quite sad, we have the facts. So, are you ready to hear the truth about butterflies?<\/span><\/p>\n

Where Does the Feeling of Butterflies Come From?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Interestingly, the feeling of butterflies arise due to the part of the brain that\u2019s responsible for registering threat, fear, and <\/span>anxiety<\/span>. This part of the brain is called the amygdala.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When these feelings arise, the amygdala actually deactivates, leaving you with that knotting sensation you get in your stomach. It diminishes the chance to make critical assessments of others, including those that we\u2019re romantically involved with. Which is why it\u2019s sometimes hard to see those <\/span>dating red flags<\/span><\/a> when we\u2019re in love.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, when the amygdala is activated, it helps humans stay safe in potentially dangerous situations. Without it, we\u2019re left with feelings of fear and anxiousness.<\/span><\/p>\n

Basically, and according to <\/span>Dr Michael D. Gershon, MD<\/span><\/a>, when butterflies appear, it\u2019s simply anxiety. The brain gets into overdrive mode, kicking the stomach into high gear. He goes on to call the stomach a <\/span>\u201csecond brain\u201d.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd because pressure is increased in the gut, sensory nerves in the gut send signals of discomfort back to the brain. This may cause frequent bowel movements or just queasiness in the stomach, but that\u2019s the sensation,\u201d<\/span><\/i> says Gershon.<\/span> \u201cPhysically the gut is pressing and twisting and just tying itself into knots, essentially, too strongly. And that sends signals back to the brain, too strongly.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

For example, if you were to go bungee jumping, you\u2019d feel those same feelings\u2026 butterflies. Or, if you were sitting at home and suddenly heard a frightening noise, you too would feel that feeling.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s just, over time, people have differentiated this sensation when it comes to fear and when it comes to <\/span>romance<\/span>. But the thing is, there is no difference.<\/span><\/p>\n

Is It Good to Experience Butterflies in the Context of Romance?<\/span><\/h2>\n

As we previously mentioned, it can be exhilarating to get those feelings of butterflies when we see someone. But is it a good indication of anything? Actually, no. Oddly, it\u2019s better not to experience those feelings. This is because having butterflies induces that anxious feeling. It can feel unsettling and sometimes unstable.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When someone doesn\u2019t feel butterflies, it allows for a more of a <\/span>safe<\/span> and secure place. It removes the nervousness and excitement that can actually get in the way of making genuine connections.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sadly, many believe that if that feeling of butterflies doesn\u2019t present itself when with a partner, there\u2019s no <\/span>attraction<\/span><\/a>. They might leave their partner, or not pursue someone, because they believe that there is no chemistry or love. But this couldn\u2019t be farther from the truth.<\/span><\/p>\n

The truth is, it takes time to build up a connection and chemistry. Feeling butterflies is fleeting. It\u2019ll come and then it\u2019ll pass. Essentially, it\u2019s no indicator of whether there is potential for love or lust.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The devastating part about all of this, is that many people may miss out on getting to know good people and form <\/span>healthy relationships<\/span> because they\u2019ve not experienced butterflies. There\u2019s a risk of missing out on a love that doesn\u2019t flutter at first, but that could have the potential to soar.<\/span><\/p>\n

What Happens to the Brain When We\u2019re in Love?<\/span><\/h2>\n

So, we\u2019ve established that having butterflies has, in fact, nothing to do with being in love at all. But what happens when we <\/span>are<\/span><\/i> actually in love?<\/span><\/p>\n

In <\/span>a 2000 study<\/span><\/a>, Professor Semir Zeki and Andreas Bartels, PhD, looked at 17 individuals, both men and women between the ages of 21 and 37. These individuals admitted to the professors that they were madly <\/span>in love<\/span> with someone. So, these professionals got to work and began scanning their brains whilst the participants viewed images of their significant others.<\/span><\/p>\n

The results found that certain parts of the brain lit up, namely the medial insula, the anterior cingulate cortex, and some of the dorsal striatum. These areas are predominantly the core regions of the reward system, as it sends out dopamine (making you feel <\/span>pleasure<\/span>, satisfaction, and motivation). Other chemicals that are released when someone is in love are <\/span>oxytocin<\/span><\/a> and vasopressin, which are chemical messengers that facilitate bonding.<\/span><\/p>\n

In layman\u2019s terms, getting those feelings of butterflies is when a certain part of the brain <\/span>deactivates<\/span><\/i>, creating anxious feelings and unrest. Being in love, on the other hand, is the <\/span>activation<\/span><\/i> of certain parts of the brain, and the release of a handful of feel-good hormones.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What\u2019s also interesting is that when we\u2019re in love, levels of serotonin become depleted. Serotonin is a chemical that plays a key role in mood regulation, <\/span>sleep<\/span>, and digestion. And, as <\/span>Richard Schwartz<\/span><\/a>, M.D. a professor and couples therapist, describes it, this drop in serotonin leads to <\/span>\u201cintrusive, maddeningly preoccupying thoughts, hopes, and terrors of early love\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Basically, it leads to obsessive-compulsive behaviours that are associated with infatuation.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And there you have it, folks! Perhaps it\u2019s time for us to stop putting so much weight on those feelings of butterflies when it comes to love, because it\u2019s actually no indication of it at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t the science of love incredibly intriguing?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Aren’t butterflies fantastical? In the literal sense of the word, sure, but figuratively\u2026 like when you see someone that makes you all giddy. That experience of joy, excitement, but also nervousness\u2026 wow! It truly can make you feel alive!\u00a0 So, imagine this scenario: you see someone you\u2019re attracted to, or you look at your partner. That feeling of butterflies suddenly enters your stomach, and you just know that there\u2019s something happening.\u00a0 Is it love? Is it lust? Is it just […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":115,"featured_media":39415,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[925,924],"tags":[163,189],"coauthors":[948],"class_list":["post-39727","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-committed","category-dating","tag-dating","tag-healthy-relationship"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDoes Getting Butterflies in Your Stomach Mean You\u2019re in Love?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Despite popular belief, there is no connection between having butterflies and being in love.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/feeling-butterflies-vs-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" 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