{"id":40483,"date":"2023-05-31T07:00:23","date_gmt":"2023-05-31T05:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=40483"},"modified":"2023-05-31T07:00:23","modified_gmt":"2023-05-31T05:00:23","slug":"why-you-should-stop-looking-for-the-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/why-you-should-stop-looking-for-the-one\/","title":{"rendered":"Why You Should Stop Looking for “The One”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Blame it on Disney fantasies, early 2000s magazines, and every rom-com ever made, but there is some interesting messaging out there when it comes to dating. One of the biggest narratives we\u2019re fed around dating and relationships is that there\u2019s this magical unicorn of a human that was made just for you \u2013 \u201cthe one\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

While this may be true for some people, it can create confusion, shame, or simply be misleading for others. This attitude can warp your perception of dating and relationships as a whole, and may even keep you from making some cool connections. Still not convinced? Here\u2019s why you should stop looking for \u201cthe one\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dating Should be Fun<\/b><\/h2>\n

Life is meant to be enjoyed. When you\u2019re laser-focused on achieving a certain outcome, you can get tunnel vision and lose sight of what\u2019s around you. This kind of attitude can take the fun out of dating and zap the magic out of new relationships.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

While it\u2019s good to know what you ultimately want out of dating, it\u2019s also important to enjoy the ride. Sometimes going on a date can be as simple as \u201cI want to show up authentically, be me, be kind, have fun, and hopefully spend some time with a cool person.\u201d That doesn\u2019t mean anything has to come from it, just that you\u2019re showing up open and ready to connect.<\/span><\/p>\n

We don\u2019t want to perpetuate any shame or insecurities you may have around dating, but we want to point out that people are perceptive. When you go on a date only thinking \u201cThis could be my person\u201d it creates a certain heaviness and may cause you to change your behavior to try and impress them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This kind of attitude puts pressure on connections, taking the fun out of dating. Besides \u2013 wouldn\u2019t you rather start a potential relationship from a place of joy and levity?<\/span><\/p>\n

Work With What You\u2019ve Got<\/b><\/h2>\n

The idea of the one can also manifest as perfectionism in dating. You have a clear list of things you want in a partner and refuse to stray from it. You\u2019re quick to dismiss people from your dating pool because they don\u2019t meet every single one of your expectations.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a bit of a reality check \u2013 it\u2019s highly doubtful that one person will be able to check all your boxes. That being said, people may still surprise you, tick a lot of your boxes, or tick boxes that you didn\u2019t even know you had. That\u2019s the magic of allowing space for fluidity in your dating life. Someone may show up that you didn\u2019t think was \u201cyour type\u201d or what you were looking for, but there\u2019s an inevitable connection, and <\/span>it just feels right<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Relationships don\u2019t just fall into your lap. They take work. They involve having hard conversations, being vulnerable and honest, and taking the time to truly get to know someone and let yourself be seen. There are probably thousands of people out there who you can build the type of relationship you want with.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re wondering whether you can make it last with someone that you\u2019re dating, ask yourself:<\/span><\/p>\n