{"id":42163,"date":"2024-05-14T07:00:55","date_gmt":"2024-05-14T05:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=42163"},"modified":"2024-10-30T05:04:57","modified_gmt":"2024-10-30T04:04:57","slug":"arousal-non-concordance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/arousal-non-concordance\/","title":{"rendered":"Arousal Non-Concordance, Explained"},"content":{"rendered":"

The human sexual response cycle is a complex phenomenon and is often more complicated than people make it out to be.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s normal to think that certain signals mean someone is turned on, like men getting erections or women getting wet. That\u2019s not always the case.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You may have even experienced this yourself \u2013 have you ever had an erection or felt wet, but weren’t turned on mentally? It may have felt confusing or like your body was betraying you.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is what happens in arousal non-concordance. A sexual phenomenon that\u2019s more common than you might think.<\/span><\/p>\n

What is Arousal Non-Concordance?<\/h2>\n

When someone\u2019s psychological feelings of arousal do not match up with their body\u2019s physiological cues, they are experiencing arousal non-concordance.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The part of your brain that controls reward and desire has neural pathways that are associated with certain sexual stimuli. Things like having your leg rubbed, hearing certain words, and smelling certain smells can all trigger these nerves and activate your arousal response.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Just because these nerves have been activated, doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re mentally or emotionally aroused. This could happen if you start kissing your partner and feel changes in your genitals, but are too stressed from work to actually feel turned on. Your brain may be used to sending arousal signals when you kiss, even if your feelings say otherwise.<\/span><\/p>\n

Arousal non-concordance can be compared to being tickled. Most people don\u2019t enjoy being tickled, yet they still laugh. The stimulation of certain nerve endings can cause people to laugh, which may make the person tickling them think that they\u2019re enjoying it when they\u2019re not \u2013 hence the importance of verbal consent.<\/span><\/p>\n

Arousal non-concordance can be similar to tickling in that it elicits a seemingly positive response for an experience that\u2019s actually negative or neutral.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It may come as no surprise that arousal non-concordance is more common in women and people assigned female at birth (AFAB).<\/span><\/p>\n

The body and the brain<\/h2>\n

There are three types of arousal that all influence each other \u2013 physical, emotional, and mental. <\/span><\/p>\n

Physical arousal is the signals we\u2019ve talking about \u2013 erections, feeling wet, and having a flush face. Mental arousal is your thoughts as well as how alert and attentive you are to stimuli. Emotional arousal is your feelings around arousal in the moment \u2013 Do you feel excited? Are you enjoying yourself? Connected with your partner?<\/span><\/p>\n

When these different types of arousal don\u2019t align, you\u2019re experiencing arousal non-concordance, which essentially means arousal isn\u2019t \u201cconsistent\u201d or \u201cagreeing\u201d. It can be hard to distinguish between these different types of arousal, especially between emotional and mental because they\u2019re so closely linked.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This effect isn\u2019t just limited to having sex with someone else. Arousal non-concordance can be as simple as reading a hot and steamy smut book, feeling a little turned on, but not having the energy or desire to act on it.<\/span><\/p>\n

What causes arousal non-concordance?<\/h2>\n

Arousal non-concordance is relatively common and can happen when you\u2019re feeling tired, stressed, or busy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Certain factors can make it more likelt to interfere with your sex life:<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n