{"id":43976,"date":"2024-10-12T14:12:36","date_gmt":"2024-10-12T12:12:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=43976"},"modified":"2026-03-29T22:32:21","modified_gmt":"2026-03-29T20:32:21","slug":"how-to-use-a-vibe-with-a-partner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/how-to-use-a-vibe-with-a-partner\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Use a Vibrator with a Partner"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sex toys are having a moment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

These days, it\u2019s not uncommon to pluck one right off the shelf at your neighborhood drug store.<\/span><\/p>\n

But let\u2019s face it: they\u2019ve long been marketed to vulva owners\u2026vulva owners who want to masturbate.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Which begs the question, how do you incorporate a toy into partnered sex? And why would you want to involve a toy in partnered sex?<\/span><\/p>\n

How To Bring It Up To Your Partner<\/h2>\n

Some partners may be totally down for toy play with you. Others might feel a little nervous, especially if you haven\u2019t talked about your sex life before.<\/span><\/p>\n

To broach the subject, I recommend being positive and curious. Something like\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

I love it when we try new things during sex. Would you ever be open to trying a toy together? One that could feel hot on both of us?<\/span><\/p>\n

If this already feels intimidating, I get it! That\u2019s why I\u2019ve created some communication guides to help you out.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ideally, your partner will say: YES! But if they don\u2019t, that\u2019s OK. You\u2019re planting a seed now, and can revisit the idea later. Sometimes, a partner has to acclimate to talking about sex, before they can meaningfully collaborate with you on the sex.<\/span><\/p>\n

Toy Options<\/span><\/h2>\n

As for toys themselves, you\u2019ve got two basic categories to work with: solo sex vibes and partner vibes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Partner vibes are wearables that are secured in place either at the base of the shaft, or tucked inside a vulva owner. I\u2019m a huge fan of the <\/span>Tiani 3 by LELO<\/span><\/a> myself: powered by two motors, the base is tucked inside the vagina (which helps massage the very sensitive, very orgasmic internal walls), while the larger arm is a vibrator that sits right on top of the clitoris. From there, a penis owner can enter, and feel the vibrations all along their shaft\u2026which, PS, feels incredible penis owners if you haven\u2019t tried it already.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"lelo<\/a><\/p>\n

Now, a note here: this is very stimulating! Perhaps too stimulating, for some penis owners. If you\u2019re a penis owner who wants a little more control over their orgasm, try <\/span>LELO\u2019s TOR 3<\/span><\/a>. This flexible penis ring will keep the blood flow in your penis, making it bigger and helping you last longer.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"lelo<\/a><\/p>\n

Time To Play<\/span><\/h2>\n

While partner vibes are fairly straightforward \u2013 just put it on and have fun \u2013 other toy options allow for experimentation. Here are some ideas to try.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nipple play: turn on the toy to a low setting, and graze their nipples with it while you make out and let your other hand wander.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Inner thighs: use the toy as a tease, and brush it along their inner thigh while you warm up to (or have) oral sex.<\/span><\/p>\n

During intercourse: if you\u2019re a vulva owner, try \u201cfacing away\u201d positions like doggy style or spooning, so that you can still access your clitoris during penetration.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Anal, anyone?: first, absolutely <\/span>use the right anal toy<\/span><\/a>. But once you\u2019ve got one, this is such an incredible option for penis owners especially during penetration. Their prostate will be stimulated from the toy, while the sex itself is happening, for a potential \u2013 explosive! \u2013 blended orgasm. You\u2019re welcome.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Toys During Partnered Sex: The Benefits<\/h2>\n

No matter the genitals of you and your partner, sex toys can be an amazing way to experience more pleasure together, to experiment, and for lots of vulva owners, to orgasm during intercourse. They\u2019re not a \u201creplacement,\u201d as they are categorically different from anyone\u2019s body parts. Rather, the vibration simply stimulates nerve endings deeper than a hand (or a penis, or finger, etc.) can reach. For vulva owners, that\u2019s a pretty big bonus.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For penis owners, there\u2019s a whole wide world of pleasure out there that they may not have tried yet (prostate play, anyone?). In this way, sex toys can be an assist to an already great sex life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The name of the game here is experimentation and creativity. We\u2019ve all got erogenous zones, all over our body, and it may take some time to normalize the sound of a buzzing toy during sex. But once you try them out, these products can unlock so much collaboration and sexy fun. They are called \u201ctoys,\u201d after all.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Enjoy 15% off LELO.com<\/a> with code VOLONTE15<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sex toys are having a moment.\u00a0 These days, it\u2019s not uncommon to pluck one right off the shelf at your neighborhood drug store. But let\u2019s face it: they\u2019ve long been marketed to vulva owners\u2026vulva owners who want to masturbate.\u00a0 Which begs the question, how do you incorporate a toy into partnered sex? And why would you want to involve a toy in partnered sex? How To Bring It Up To Your Partner Some partners may be totally down for toy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1026,"featured_media":39439,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,912,929],"tags":[525,537,189,205,131],"coauthors":[1243],"class_list":["post-43976","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sex-tips-advice","category-for-couples","category-sexual-wellness","tag-better-sex","tag-couples","tag-healthy-relationship","tag-vibrator-for-couples","tag-vibrators"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow To Use a Vibrator with a Partner<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How To Use a Vibrator with a Partner\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sex toys are having a moment.\u00a0 These days, it\u2019s not uncommon to pluck one right off the shelf at your neighborhood drug store. But let\u2019s face it: they\u2019ve long been marketed to vulva owners\u2026vulva owners who want to masturbate.\u00a0 Which begs the question, how do you incorporate a toy into partnered sex? And why would you want to involve a toy in partnered sex? 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