{"id":46296,"date":"2025-08-03T07:15:55","date_gmt":"2025-08-03T05:15:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=46296"},"modified":"2026-03-15T22:41:55","modified_gmt":"2026-03-15T21:41:55","slug":"sexologist-valerie-tasso-lelo-desire-book","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/sexologist-valerie-tasso-lelo-desire-book\/","title":{"rendered":"Sexologist Val\u00e9rie Tasso Decodes Desire in a New Book with LELO"},"content":{"rendered":"

”<\/i><\/b>Desire doesn\u2019t rush. It simmers slowly over time.” Val\u00e9rie Tasso, sexologist, writer and LELO Ambassador<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

In a time when sex is widely discussed but often misunderstood, acclaimed author, sexologist, and LELO ambassador in Spain, Val\u00e9rie Tasso, invites us to rethink everything we know about desire. In partnership with <\/span>LELO<\/span><\/a>, her new book \u201cSexual Desire: Everything You Want to Know<\/a>\u201d takes a bold, multi-layered look at what it truly means to desire \u2013 emotionally, physically, and culturally.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIn today\u2019s society, what many people struggle with isn\u2019t too much desire, but the absence of it. I see this every day in my work, and it affects everyone \u2013 couples, singles, even young people. So many think desire must come naturally; if it doesn\u2019t, they assume something\u2019s broken. But sometimes, we just need to awaken, feed, and give it space. That\u2019s what this book is about: helping people reconnect with their desire, instead of fearing it,\u201d says Val\u00e9rie Tasso, sexologist and author of the book \u201cSexual Desire: Everything You Want to Know\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

To back up the book\u2019s insights and theory with real data, LELO surveyed over 9,000 people across the globe on how they understand, experience, and express sexual desire today.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What Is Desire, Really?<\/h2>\n

Generally, \u201cdesire\u201d refers to the drive, the energy that keeps us going and motivates us to pursue our dreams, projects, and desires. Sexual desire can be defined as an emotional and physical attraction to another person and can manifest in many ways, from flirting to sexual intimacy. This desire is tied to reproduction and is crucial to people\u2019s emotional connection with others. As Val\u00e9rie Tasso explains in the book, ”the chemistry behind sexual desire involves a complex interaction of hormones, neurotransmitters, and psychological factors.”<\/span><\/p>\n

According to the survey, <\/span>43% of respondents said their desire feels both psychological and physical, as if it’s a deeply intertwined sensation.<\/b> Meanwhile, 25% experience it more psychologically (it begins in the mind), while 20% say it\u2019s mostly physical (it begins in the body).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Desire vs. Attraction: Not the Same Thing<\/h2>\n

While 15% of people believe sexual desire is the same as attraction, <\/span>half of the respondents (50%) believe they are related but not the same thing<\/b>. And the science backs them up. As Val\u00e9rie Tasso explains: \u201c<\/span>Sexual attraction has to do with who you are attracted to, while sexual desire is about an impulse to act on that attraction\u2026<\/span> Both are important aspects of sexuality, but have their own characteristics.\u201d In summary, both can influence each other, and that’s why people sometimes mix them up, even though they’re not the same thing. You can feel sexual desire without necessarily being attracted to someone in particular. It’s not in your control, so relax and don’t feel guilty about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Multiple Desires, One Reality<\/h2>\n

Can you desire more than one person at a time? Apparently, yes, because most of us do. A striking <\/span>81% of respondents admitted to having experienced sexual desire for multiple people at the same time<\/b>. Rather than a threat to monogamy, this reflects the desire’s layered and fluid nature.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Val\u00e9rie Tasso reminds us in the book: \u201cDesire is not love. Feeling attracted to someone outside your relationship doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re unfaithful – it means you\u2019re human.\u201d After all, desire can manifest in many ways, from feeling romantic to being only physically attracted to one person, to several people. It can also be manifested as polyamory, where people see consensual and open relationships with multiple partners.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Desire Isn\u2019t Constant<\/h2>\n

While some people feel sexual desire frequently and randomly, others need more warming up before they get in the mood. It’s good to know that there may be changes in a person\u2019s sexual desire throughout life. Our survey shows that <\/span>nearly half of the respondents (45%) have their libido disappear at times<\/b>, and that\u2019s normal.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sexual desire may vary over time and can be influenced by factors like stress, physical health, relationships, and personal experiences. The key takeaway? As the book points out, fluctuation is not failure. Open communication, curiosity, and mutual empathy can help couples navigate mismatches and rediscover intimacy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAt LELO, we believe that sexual education has to go deeper, beyond orgasms and technique, and start with understanding how desire truly works. This book and the survey confirm what we\u2019ve long suspected: when people are confused, shame and silence often follow. If we want to shift the conversation around sexual wellness, it has to begin with open, honest talk about desire,\u201d says Luka Matutinovi\u0107, LELO CMO.<\/span><\/p>\n

While this book might not give you all the answers, it will offer a refreshing perspective rooted in science, experience, and history. \u201cSexual Desire: Everything You Want to Know\u201d is not just an informative read; it’s an invitation to reflect, explore, and understand yourself more deeply. It might not solve every question, but it will definitely change how you ask them.<\/span><\/p>\n

The whole book is now available \u2013 dive into the full exploration here.<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Enjoy 15% off LELO.com<\/a> with code VOLONTE15<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

”Desire doesn\u2019t rush. It simmers slowly over time.” Val\u00e9rie Tasso, sexologist, writer and LELO Ambassador In a time when sex is widely discussed but often misunderstood, acclaimed author, sexologist, and LELO ambassador in Spain, Val\u00e9rie Tasso, invites us to rethink everything we know about desire. In partnership with LELO, her new book \u201cSexual Desire: Everything You Want to Know\u201d takes a bold, multi-layered look at what it truly means to desire \u2013 emotionally, physically, and culturally.\u00a0 \u201cIn today\u2019s society, what […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":40472,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[921,929],"tags":[1267,1266,669],"coauthors":[947],"class_list":["post-46296","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lelo-newswire","category-sexual-wellness","tag-attraction","tag-desire","tag-sexual-health"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nUnderstanding Sexual Desire with Val\u00e9rie Tasso | LELO<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sexologist Val\u00e9rie Tasso explores how desire works\u2014emotionally, physically, and culturally\u2014 with LELO. 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