{"id":6117,"date":"2014-05-04T17:44:38","date_gmt":"2014-05-04T09:44:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/?p=6117"},"modified":"2026-03-06T06:13:05","modified_gmt":"2026-03-06T05:13:05","slug":"swinging-tips-advice-beginners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lelo.com\/blog\/swinging-tips-advice-beginners\/","title":{"rendered":"Swinging Tips and Advice For Beginners"},"content":{"rendered":"

Listen to this article:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

 <\/p>\n

\"lelo<\/a><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s assume you and your partner have had that initial conversation, in which you both expressed an interest in swinging. Congratulations, that\u2019s usually the hardest part – talking about sex can be difficult<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Swinging is a brave and exhilarating way to revive your lovelife<\/a>, and now that you\u2019ve both agreed that it\u2019s something you want to explore together, you might need some tips and advice about swinging itself: where to go, how to act, what to expect. Swinging, like many other forms of non-monogamy<\/a>, is a roller-coaster ride and you need all the information you can get, because when it’s good, it’s great.<\/p>\n

Where To Start The Swinging Lifestyle<\/h2>\n

For the first time swingers, the internet really is your friend. A lot of experienced couples become very adept at concealing their swinger lifestyles, so it can be hard to meet other swingers naturally. Your best friends could be swingers and you\u2019d never even know it. However, there are masses of trustworthy and reliable swinging websites you can browse, all of which allow you to search for other couples, sex clubs and events<\/a> by location. Set up joint accounts on multiple swinging sites and see which one returns the most interesting people, then focus on that site.<\/p>\n

It’s All About Trust<\/h2>\n

But here\u2019s one of the most important pieces of advice to remember: swinging is about trust, and that trust is particularly delicate in the early stages. Therefore, when you\u2019re setting up an account, make sure the content reflects both of you, that you both contribute to its creation, and that you both have access to the account. Separate accounts breed distrust due to the ability to send and receive private messages to and from other members, and first-time swingers should have absolutely no secrets from each other.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s Your Flavor?<\/h2>\n

Good communication is key when you enter the swinger\u2019s lifestyle. You need to talk in depth about what you\u2019re both looking for before you start swinging, and you should be prepared to compromise and even make bargains with each other. For example, one of you might have your heart set on bringing another girl into your bedroom, while the other might want to meet another couple. Both of these sexual desires are equally valid, so be prepared to say things like \u201cOK, this weekend we\u2019ll meet another couple, but only if the following weekend we can invite that girl over\u201d. (This makes it all sound very formal and humorless, but in practice, this is one of the most fun aspects of the swinger lifestyle.)<\/p>\n

Similarly, you need to set your kink levels up front. Swinging clubs and events are generally quite sensual, vanilla affairs as far as BDSM is concerned<\/a>, so if you\u2019re looking to go to a club for an erotic spanking<\/a>, you\u2019ll have to look a little harder. They exist in abundance in most major cities though.<\/p>\n

That said, be prepared for your interests to evolve in ways you don\u2019t expect.<\/p>\n

Clubs Or Couples?<\/h2>\n

Now, you face a tricky decision: where to actually start. You might have met a single or a couple online that you\u2019re keen on meeting, but this is your first time swinging, so how do you move the conversation into real life? The first thing you should really do is go to a swinger\u2019s party, or some kind of larger-scale swinger event. There\u2019s a really simple reason for this: safety in numbers.<\/p>\n

When there are lots of people around, it\u2019s much easier to get a sense of how more experienced swingers interact with each other, and there is never, ever an obligation to join in any sexual activity if it doesn\u2019t feel absolutely right. Lots of couples attend swinger parties simply to observe, and this is the best way to learn. It\u2019s also the best way to meet other like-minded couples without any obligation.<\/p>\n

This approach is a lot easier and more comfortable than agreeing to meet a couple you\u2019ve only spoken to online. It\u2019s standard practice in the swinging lifestyle to meet potential partners for drinks before a more sexual encounter, but even these meetings can be awkward, particularly if the people in front of you don\u2019t measure up to the image they\u2019d created online. At least at a party you can offer a polite refusal and speak to someone else instead. Definitely, definitely do not invite partners to your home before meeting them.<\/p>\n

What Happens at a Swingers Club?<\/h2>\n

Swinger\u2019s parties vary hugely from club to club<\/a>, so it\u2019s difficult to give you a singular idea of what any given one is like. One thing it\u2019s not, though, is an orgy. An orgy is one big group of people having sex<\/a>, swinging is more like lots of little groups. Swinging clubs generally have several rooms, often with different themes, each with a different activity and a different feel.<\/p>\n

One room might be pitch dark where strangers are encouraged to touch and play without knowing who\u2019s on the receiving end, another room might be for swapping partners, another room might be more for observation. It\u2019s hard to say exactly what will happen, and that\u2019s half the thrill of the night.<\/p>\n

Check this out:<\/strong> Toy Tips for Beginners from Whips to Blindfolds<\/a><\/p>\n

Swinging Club Rules & Codes<\/h2>\n

Different swinging clubs also use different signals and codes. Sometimes wristbands are used to communicate whether the wearer is available or not, or whether a particular couple is looking for a male, female or couple to join them. Some clubs use different colored drinking straws, while yet others reject the colors and instead encourage people to simply talk to each other to find out what they\u2019re looking for. If you arrive and there\u2019s any confusion at all, just ask someone. Swingers are friendly folk, after all, and it\u2019s a good ice-breaker.<\/p>\n

Speaking generally, it\u2019s better to join a swinging club or attend a swinger\u2019s event that requires a reservation beforehand, because it means the organizers personally vet all the attendees and work to make sure there\u2019s a good mix of people in attendance.<\/p>\n

And Most Importantly\u2026<\/h2>\n

We touched on it earlier, but good, open communication between you and your partner is essential for a healthy swinging lifestyle. Jealousy and insecurity<\/a> are real threats to a relationship when other partners are introduced, and you will both have to work hard with each other to make sure everything feels safe and trusting between you. The more you talk about your feelings and desires, the easier it becomes to talk about your feelings and desires. It\u2019s a virtuous swinging circle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Enjoy 15% off LELO.com<\/a> with code VOLONTE15<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Listen to this article:   Let\u2019s assume you and your partner have had that initial conversation, in which you both expressed an interest in swinging. Congratulations, that\u2019s usually the hardest part – talking about sex can be difficult. Swinging is a brave and exhilarating way to revive your lovelife, and now that you\u2019ve both agreed that it\u2019s something you want to explore together, you might need some tips and advice about swinging itself: where to go, how to act, what […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":6125,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[917],"tags":[1215,909,503,637,535],"coauthors":[950,943],"class_list":["post-6117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-group-sex","tag-audio-article","tag-fact-checked-by-doctor","tag-orgy","tag-sex-tips","tag-swinging"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAn Introduction to the Swinger's Lifestyle for Curious Beginners<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Check out our useful tips and information about couples who want to start swinging, and learn about the swinger's 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