what is wax play

Beginner’s Guide to Wax Play at Home

If you’re ready to turn up the heat this summer, then wax play might be exactly what you need. It’s a kink that’s been gaining popularity in recent years, with more and more people curious to dabble in the world of kinks.

For those curious to try new things, and excited about pleasurable pain, wax play is a great place to start. And no, you don’t need to be an expert to try it at home! All you need is a little bit of knowledge and preparation. 

Wax Play Guide for Beginners 

What Is Wax Play?

A wax play is a form of temperature play that’s popular amongst BDSM practitioners. It involves using low-temperature wax candles and pouring hot wax on a naked person’s skin to elicit (pleasurable) pain amongst an array of other different sensations. 

Why is Wax Play Arousing?

Wax play can be arousing for a few different reasons. First and foremost – novelty. Introducing something new to the bedroom is key to maintaining passion in a long-term relationship. And couples who regularly introduce novel activities report having higher overall sexual and relationship satisfaction. 

Wax play can be one of the things you and your partner try together for the first time. It’s a relatively easy and safe way to try something kinky if you’re both curious about dabbling in the world of BDSM. 

Now, in the BDSM community and among BDSM practitioners, wax play often falls into two categories:

  • Sadism/masochism: wax play is perfect for those who find a great amount of pleasure in pain. One party enjoys the thrill of receiving pain (the Masochist) and the other party enjoys inflicting the pain (the Sadist). 
  • Powerplay: wax play allows couples to explore the dynamics of taking and surrendering control in the bedroom. The Dominant is often the one in charge, pouring the wax, and the Submissive is often the one on the receiving end. 

Wax Play for Beginners: Tips and Tricks

Alright, now that you know exactly what wax play is and why people find it an exciting activity to try in the bedroom, let’s get to the juicy part of the guide – how to try wax play at home!

Choose the Right Candle 

Not all candles are created equally! So, don’t grab the first candle you have at home and pour it all over your partner’s naked skin. 

There are two different types of wax play candles you can choose from:

  • Massage oil candles
  • Low-temperature wax play candles

Massage oil candles are a fantastic introduction to wax play if you’re nervous about the pain. They’re made from massage oil that melts as the candle burns and you can then pour the melted wax on the skin. It’s a great way to build tension without the pain. 

Now, low-temperature wax play candles are those made with wax that melts and then hardens again to give that sting of pain when you pour it over the skin. These candles are perfect for the more advanced wax play and if you want the experience of pleasurable pain. 

Usually, if you buy low-temperature wax candles in adult stores, you can be sure that they’re safe for wax play. However, it’s good to know what sort of wax you should look for. 

So, candles that are safe for wax play are made with:

  • Soy wax: the melting point at 46-57 °C or 114-134 °F.
  • Paraffin wax: the melting point at 47-65 °C or 116-149 °F.

Candles that are made from beeswax, stearin, or microcrystalline wax are unsafe to use for wax play as they have a much higher melting point which can cause serious skin burns. 

Here’s How To Prepare for Wax Play

Before wax play, you want to prepare your body and your environment. For the body, the preparations are pretty simple. Wax can stick to the hair, which can make removal very painful and difficult. So, you might consider shaving the areas of your body where you’ll know there will be wax. 

Another thing you might want to consider for body preparation is to use a body oil prior to pouring the wax. It will make the removal so much smoother as the wax won’t stick to the skin. And, it gives you a chance to give your partner a sensual massage.

As for your space, you want to make sure that you lay an old sheet or a towel that you’re not afraid to mess up. If you have a puppy pad, then it’s a great alternative to a towel or a sheet and can be reused in the future. 

Also, keep a bowl with warm water next to you, so that if by accident one of you gets burned, you can easily deal with it by pouring some warm water over the burn. 

Consider getting a candle holder if you’re using a low-temperature candle without a jar so that if you need to pause and place the candle, you have a safe space for it. 

Know Your Zones 

To ensure that you and your partner are having the best time possible, you want to know where to pour the wax. Everyone’s bodies are different, so some people might be more sensitive than others. And everyone might have different preferences as to where they want the wax to be poured. 

Generally, the best areas on the body to pour wax on are:

  • Buttocks
  • Arms
  • Legs
  • Stomach
  • Chest
  • Breasts
  • Back 
  • Shoulders 
  • Nipples
  • Genitals 

And it’s best to avoid areas like: 

  • Face
  • Eyes
  • Lips
  • Feet

Play around to see which areas feel the best for you and your partner. 

Safety Comes First 

Safety is absolutely key when you engage in any sexual activities, and that’s especially true for any BDSM activities, the wax play included. While the wax play is generally safe, when done correctly, there are a few safety concerns you should be aware of:

  • Temperature: if the wax is too hot, it can seriously burn the skin. Avoid holding the candle too close to the skin, and opt for using lower-temperature candles to avoid that.  
  • Allergic reaction: be aware that some people might have an allergic reaction to the wax. To avoid an allergic reaction, make sure you check the ingredients of the candle and always do a patch test beforehand!
  • Fire hazard: candles can break and topple over and if they happen to touch a flammable object, they can cause a fire. To avoid that, make sure you have flammable objects away from the candles and always make sure you have a container or a holder to place the candle in when you’re not using it. 
  • Mess: wax can be extremely difficult to remove from clothing and linens, so be aware that clothing, bedding, or towels you’re using might be damaged permanently. 

Lastly, before you attempt to experiment with wax play, make sure you have a safeword or a safeword system with your partner. You can choose a word like “pineapple” that you both can use during the session to stop. 

Or, better yet, consider using the traffic light system to communicate during the experience better:

  • Green: you’re on board, everything is good and your partner can keep going.
  • Yellow: everything is okay, but you want to pause or maybe slow down.
  • Red: stop any activities immediately. 

Pour It Up

It’s time to pour the wax! Before you attempt to pour wax onto your partner, it might be a good idea to practice on yourself first. This way you can get familiar with all the sensations and find the best and most pleasurable ways to do so. 

Once you’re ready to move on to your partner, you want to start slow. Tease them, build the anticipation by pouring the wax on less sensitive areas (back, arms, legs, shoulders), then move on more sensitive areas (inner thighs, breasts, lower stomach), and finish off with the most sensitive places (nipples and genitals). 

One thing you want to keep in mind about pouring the wax is that the closer it is to the skin, the hotter the wax will feel. If you keep the candle further away from your partner’s skin and pour the wax, it will have more time to cool off. 

So, start off holding the candle further away from your partner’s body, and then minimize the distance as you progress. Or, keep your partner guessing and keep alternating the distance to their skin. 


Aftercare is crucial for BDSM activities, the wax play included. You’ll want to remove the wax from your partner’s skin, which you can do by peeling it off or scraping it off with something like a credit card. If your partner’s skin is sensitive and irritated, apply a soothing lotion. 

Then, of course, you want to think about the mental aspect of aftercare. Wax play can be an intense experience for both partners, so consider some quality time cuddling, discussing the experience, or doing whatever else that soothes and helps to connect. 

Wax Play Kit for Beginners 

If you want to explore wax play, then you’ll need the right tools. We put together a little wax play kit for beginners with the tools you’ll need for the best experience:

  • Massage oil candle: the perfect tool for first-time wax play enthusiasts as it has a lower melting point and doubles as a massage oil so you can give your partner a sensual massage. LELO’s Flickering Touch Massage Candle is a perfect candle for your wax play kit. 
  • Low temp wax candle: for more advanced pleasurable pain play, a low-temperature wax candle is a must. Agreeable Agony’s Classic Wax Play Pitcher is great for beginners as it has a glass container to ensure safety. 
  • Massage oil: it’s good to have massage oil on hand if you want to make the cleanup easier and do a little bit of foreplay before the wax play. Bloomi’s Relax Body and Massage Oil combines aromatherapy with intimate moments. 
  • Soothing lotion: a soothing lotion to apply to the skin afterward is a must-have. Something with aloe vera might be the best, like Seven Minerals Organic Aloe Vera Gel