It’s no secret that the orgasm gap still exists to this day, especially in heterosexual relationships. While 95% of heterosexual men report having an orgasm during partnered sex, only 65% of heterosexual women report the same. The stats are a bit different when it comes to queer relationships.
Studies show that gay men orgasm 89% of the time, bisexual men orgasm 88% of the time and lesbian women are not that far behind – with 86% of lesbian women reporting always having an orgasm during partnered sex.
If we look at this data, it’s clear that queer people are having a way better time with their partners in their bedrooms. Why is that, though? Could it be that queer people are just better at sex? Or is the secret to more orgasms queer people are having – more sex toys?
Research reveals that queer people use and own more sex toys
More sex toys = more orgasms?
A study published in 2016 by Chapman University’s David Frederick, Ph.D., found that couples who have been together long-term had higher relationship satisfaction if they used sex toys together during intimacy. They were also more likely to engage in oral sex, incorporate more variety into their sex lives, and schedule date nights. And they reported having more orgasms.
These findings make sense – only 81.6% of women are able to have an orgasm from penetration alone, so incorporating sex toys, oral sex, and more foreplay is the surefire way to help them get there when having sex with a partner.
Queer people own more sex toys
One of the reasons why queer people are having more orgasms is because they own more sex toys. Research shows sex toy users are more likely to report a bisexual, lesbian, and queer identity. Amongst the vibrator users, studies show that the majority identify as bisexual or lesbian. Also, the queer population spends 13.4% more on sex toys each year than heterosexual people.
Not only do queer people own more sex toys, they also have more diverse sex toys. Studies show that the majority of gay and bisexual men own at least one type of sex toy, including dildos, non-vibrating cock rings, vibrators, butt plugs, masturbation sleeves, and anal beads.
What’s interesting is that research shows that people who have received oral sex are 10 times more likely to use sex toys, and people who have received anal sex are 4 times more likely to use sex toys. And who is the population that’s having the most oral and anal sex? Queer people!
Queer people are more likely to engage in oral sex activities and don’t consider them as foreplay leading up to intercourse, but rather “the main event”, compared with heterosexual people. Anal sex is a fairly regular part of gay men’s sex lives, with 39% having anal sex a couple of times a week, but heterosexual women are not far behind them, though they do engage in it less often.
Queer people are more comfortable using sex toys
The way people use sex toys is changing. Not only there are more people who use sex toys, but they are also getting more comfortable using sex toys solo and with their partners. Of course, some demographics are more comfortable than others.
Researchers found that lesbian and bisexual women report feeling “very” or somewhat” comfortable using a vibrator alone. They also report the same feelings of comfort when using a vibrator with their partner. Heterosexual women report feeling a bit less comfortable using a sex toy solo or with a partner.
The age of the people using vibrators didn’t really matter, but there was one important factor that played a part in whether people used a sex toy with their partner during sex – the duration of a relationship.
Researchers found that women who were in a relationship with women were more likely to use sex toys during partnered sex if they were in a relationship for one year or longer.
Another interesting finding is that lesbian and bisexual women report sharing their sex toys with their partners. And even 60% do so without using a barrier method to protect against exchanging bodily liquids.
Queer culture is more open-minded
So, it’s clear that queer community is much more open to buying and using sex toys solo and with a partner, and they are clearly having plenty of orgasms and fun in the bedroom. You might be curious as to why that is.
While it is hard to pinpoint an exact reason why queer people are using more sex toys, there are a few cultural and historical explanations for it. Throughout history, our sexuality has been greatly influenced by societal norms and social structures.
Many cultures around the world were influenced by religion, which prohibited sex and pleasure and deemed it wrong and “unpure”. And that included sexuality and different sexual orientations than heterosexuality.
Queer people have always been outside what’s considered a “norm” in many cultures, and so they had to create their own community to find and connect with people like them. The majority of those communities didn’t follow the same rules as the heterosexual society, fostering a more open-minded and accepting environment.
So, when it comes to sex-positivity, the queer community is ahead of many heterosexual people who are still constrained by social pressure and taboos surrounding sex and their sexuality. This might be one of the reasons why they buy and own more sex toys and use them more comfortably solo and with their partners.
