Showing Your Moves: How To Give Your Partner a Lap Dance
To give your partner a smooth & sultry lap dance, you by no means need to be a professional dancer. Heck, you don’t even need to have a honed sense of rhythm.
To perform a lap dance that they won’t soon forget, the main thing you need is a song that makes you want to move, and the confidence to move your body. So put on a slinky little number and follow our tips on how to get started.
Seek some inspiration
As with just about everything else, you can always turn to the Internet to get you started on any new journey–lap dancing included. To get inspired as to what moves you can pull off, look no further than YouTube channels where content creators focused on this time honored erotic art will help get you off on the right foot, even if you’ve got two left feet.
Some top tutorials to get you started come from Keaira LaShae and Nicole Cole, with even more videos available for all skill levels.
Choose a playlist
The right songs can of course set the mood, and there are a whole bevvy of R&B standards made just for the purpose of bumpin’ and grindin’. Check Spotify, which is full of playlists made especially for lap dancing, and then feel free to choose some songs with which to devise your own routine.
As a rule of thumb, a good lap dance is usually two songs long–it’s the perfect amount of time to be able to show your moves and tantalize them with a ‘look, but don’t touch’ bit of teasing.
Turn down the lights
Even in a nightclub setting, you don’t want to be shaking your stuff under bright overhead lights. A dimmed lamp on a tabletop nearby or some lit candles will throw off a perfect amount of illumination.
If your lamps don’t have dimmers, then a scarf or handkerchief thrown over them will do the trick. Try to keep your light sources at waist or knee level, meaning that you should place them on a side table or coffee table nearby. The light coming from your sides will provide lighting in a way that is less harsh than overhead lighting.
Wear something sexy, that makes you feel sexy
Of course, one of, if not the most important parts of being sexy is feeling sexy, so when it comes to showing off how sexy you are with a lap dance, choose clothing based on comfort and how it makes you feel.
As a general rule, it is better to wear two pieces (like a tank top and boy shorts) rather than a one-piece getup, like an evening dress. Wearing a top and bottoms gives you more options for teasing, as you can take one or both off whenever you see fit–not to mention that a top and bottoms are much easier to move around in.
Choose your chair
The kind of seat you plan to put your partner in can greatly change up your lap dance routine. No matter what type you choose however, be it a couch, a lounger, or a dining chair, make sure that it is sturdy and ready to take on the weight of two people if need be.
If you choose a couch, this will allow you to more easily straddle your partner, while a chair with arms will give you something to hold on to while you pull off many lap dancing moves where you’re sliding up and down your partner.
No matter what chair you eventually choose, please just do not use a desk chair or any chair on wheels. At the very least you’ll look goofy as you chase your partner around the room while Ginuwine’s Pony plays in the background.
As for the rest, it comes down to pulling off the moves you’ve rehearsed ahead of time, or the ones you’ve always wanted to do. The main thing to be doing throughout your lap dance is tease, tease, tease:
- When you remove a piece of clothing, do it slooooooowly.
- Don’t let your partner touch you unless you place their hands exactly where you want to be touched.
- If they move their hand somewhere else, give it a playful slap and move back a step, continuing the dance. This establishes that you’re the one in control.
- Make eye contact, and then look down at your own body in order to draw their gaze to where you want them to look.
Colin Hanna is a Volonté contributor and freelance writer who lives in Shanghai, China with his wife. He’s written extensively about sex and human sexuality for LELO since 2010.