Tips for Movie Sex

Have you ever finished having sex and thought, “that wasn’t like the movies”? 

Tips For Movie Sex

Movie sex is, of course, scripted. Those are actors. It’s rehearsed, and practiced, and staged, and orchestrated. Hollywood does a very poor job of portraying the reality of sex, and rarely feature the kind of everyday sexual mishaps we all experience, except sometimes for comic effect. Now one would go to the cinema if movies dedicate realistic time to the frailties, fragilities, conundrums, and politics of sex.

It’s easy to see the appeal of movie sex. We all want sex that looks effortless, and passionate, and without consequence. We all want that intimacy and desire. Is it possible to achieve that in real life? Is it possible to have movie sex?

Aside from the idea of sex without consequences, there’s no reason why we can’t have something that, at least occasionally, looks like movie sex. Here are a few pro tips, and they all relate to your ability to be attuned with yourself and your partner. Let me explain.

  1. Persistence

The ability to tune in with a partner, however you want to define that, comes with practice. On the big screen, sex seems effortless because the partners look like they’re able to predict each others’ movements and emotions – of course, they’re not really predicting them, because they know from rehearsals what’s going to happen.

In real life, the same effect can be replicated through regular sex. In the same way that new dance partners learn each other the more they work together, or jazz musicians synch with each other better and better over time, so the same is true of sex. 

Over time, partners learn each other’s little idiosyncrasies and nonverbal communication cues until they became part of the sexual tapestry. Unlike most precious things, sex is NOT better when it’s rare. The more you do it, the more you fine-tune your sensations and responses, the more effortless it will feel. And it never gets old: sex evolves and changes with time, so embrace it, and it will always feel new, even when it isn’t. Just like a good movie.

  1. Prioritise Sex

Most couples experience a period in their relationship where it becomes evident the sex that you were having in the early stages has faded away. For some, this is a difficult thing to address. But there’s no easy way to say this: you have to address it.

Many relationship partners are guilty of letting sexual awkwardness or fear take hold when the relationship has solidified and now the person you used to fuck is now the person you argue about bills with. 

By making a conscious effort to prioritize sexual activity, you can fight through that phase, easily and pleasurably, perhaps even discovering activities that make sex feel new and cinematic all over again. So talk about it openly, and set time aside to be sexual.

  1. Work on Your Nonverbal Skills 

Perhaps the trickiest, and most under-discussed, sexual skill is that of nonverbal communication. Tuning in with a sexual partner is dependent on this ability and your proficiency in it, but daily life isn’t really conducive to sharpening this particular skill. 

With technology and entertainment so abundant and interwoven, most couples are lucky to find half an hour in their day to really communicate, most of us perhaps sharing a meal and then plopping down in front of Netflix, with our phones in our hands. That’s not really time spent engaging with each other. And this leads to a deficit in our ability to communicate nonverbally. 

When you’re being sexual with a partner, pay extra close attention to their facial expressions, and their body language, and especially their breathing. By learning your partner’s natural physical habits, and learning how to adjust to them, you can create a synchronized response, making sex more harmonious and organic – just how it looks in the movies.

Written by: Stuart Nugent

With 16 years in the adult industry, including many years at LELO, it's fair to say Stu has been around the sex toy block a few times. As LELO's resident sex geek, he's been featured in the Independent, the Guardian, HuffPost, Vice, Cosmopolitan, and anywhere people talk about sex. Here on Volonte, he turns his spotlight onto the important events affecting sex right now in a regular op-ed. Views are his own.

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