9 Myths & Facts about Your Orgasm

Every year, the number of studies proving the physical, emotional, physiological and even societal benefits of sex and orgasms just keep on growing. Nowadays it’s no secret that sex is an affective calorie burner or that orgasms can do wonders for your health. But when it comes to more in-depth orgasmic inquiries, it’s easy to get caught up in fictitious facts and figures.

Realizing this, we’re here to help you better know your ‘O’ by once and for all separating orgasm fact from orgasm fiction with 10 orgasm facts and myths.

MYTH: Aging reduces your chance of having an orgasm.

Due to built up trust, confidence, comfort and intimacy with a long-term partner, women actually experience better orgasms with age. In a recent survey, 70% of women in their 50s claimed that they had an orgasm the last time they had sex.  In addition, the older you are, the more familiar you will be with your body’s actions, reactions and pleasure points.

FACT: Difficulty reaching orgasm is a common issue.

Don’t be fooled by the media. One-third of women experience difficulty reaching orgasm during sex, and a whopping 80% of women have difficulty reaching orgasm solely through vaginal intercourse. Quite unlike the seemingly 100% success-rate of their male counterparts, women have to experiment and discover the rhythm and pressure combinations that their bodies most pleasurably respond to—a tantalizing trial made mutually mind-blowing with the aid of a couples’ vibrator.

MYTH: Experiencing multiple orgasms is extremely rare.

While simultaneous orgasms (experiencing orgasm at the same exact time as your partner) are indeed rare, over half of women can experience multiple orgasms—orgasms that consecutively “roll” into one another, each usually more pleasurable than the next. This feat is mostly achieved by women in their 40s to 60s, due to the fact that they tend to be more relaxed during lovemaking, however that doesn’t mean that you can’t learn to have multiple orgasms!

FACT: You’re more likely to orgasm with a long-term partner.

While you may think that things with a long-term partner tend to grow icier rather than spicier with time, as far as orgasms go—the opposite is true. Women are less self-conscious, more relaxed and overall more comfortable with someone who knows them inside and out. Studies have shown that, raising your sexual self-esteem is a surefire way to help pave a pleasurable path from you to ‘O.’

MYTH: Condoms make it more difficult for women to achieve orgasm.

While standard condoms might deprive a man of experiencing maximum sexual pleasure, there is no evidence to support that condoms prevent or extend the time it takes for a woman to orgasm. In fact, condoms provide much-needed lubrication, and the fact that some men last significantly longer while wearing condoms could actually give you those precious extra minutes you need to achieve climax. With condoms designed to allow for maximum heat transfer between bodies, you’ll find  yourself experiencing top sensation with safety and security!

FACT: Women can have orgasms without any physical stimulation.

An extragenital orgasm is an orgasm brought upon by no physical contact with the body. These orgasms, although rare, could be brought about by fantasizing or abruptly come about by going about normal daily tasks. But be careful what you wish for: select women are constantly inconvenienced by hundreds of unprompted, spontaneous orgasms every day.

FACT: Eating certain foods can boost your orgasm odds.

While we often associate testosterone with men, it’s actually the hormone which controls sexual desire in women. Foods low in carbohydrates and high in protein:  dairy, eggs, poultry and select meat and fish for example, work to raise free testosterone. Among other libido-boosting foods, small amounts of dark chocolate can trigger releases of dopamine—a monoamine neurotransmitter which allows humans to experience sexual pleasure.

MYTH: You’ll always know an orgasm by its sound.

Not everyone gets all When Harry Met Sally when they reach climax. Of course orgasms can be loud, but every orgasm is different, and their intensity cannot be measured in decibels. While the media has led many to falsely believe that they’ll know a “real orgasm” by its sound, anyone who has experienced a true orgasm knows that the experience can hardly be put into words, let alone sounds.

MYTH: No orgasm means bad sex.

It’s wise not to reduce things as natural and beautiful as sex as a means to an end. In fact, if you look back on your most pleasurable sessions of sensuality, they’re most likely ones that involved a considerable amount of toe-curling, tension-building foreplay—a mini, longer-lasting orgasmic experience in itself. Remember: sex, like life, is a journey, not a destination—meant to be enjoyed every step of the way.

Written by: Donna Turner

Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelancer who lives in San Francisco with her understanding husband and not-so-understanding teenage sons. Her work has been published in The Journal of Sexology and she is currently writing a book on love languages.

One comment

  1. I regularly have orgasms with sex, I can also have multiple orgasms. Of course, sex is immensely enjoyable before orgasm, but having pleasurable sex… but with no orgasm does not equal good sex ever!!! It is frustrating not to reach the climax….it’s incomplete! Stop trying to tell women that they should be ok without an orgasm….because some women end up only thinking of their partner…and seldom climax. Imagine telling men the same thing….do you think men would say their sex session was good if they didn’t get to ejaculate and orgasm? I don’t think so!!

    I have always orgasmed easily since I was a teenager and I always have immensely pleasurable full body orgasms….I am not special. This is what is meant to be for all women and ALWAYS!!! If it hasn’t been that way for all women it’s because of the awful repression and oppression of women from this disgusting patriarchy we are still living in! If men have lots of partners, they are called studs, but if women do the same they are shamed and called sluts!! Men have been able to enjoy sex almost without restrictions…certainly a lot more freedom and a lot less judgment than women get…that causes shut down in women. Plus, most men are very selfish and don’t care about their partners pleasure…that doesn’t help. Women need to own their sexuality, their power, and yes, they need to become selfish about their orgasms because when women have better sex, men also have better sex. A woman’s orgasm never negates a man his orgasm, but the opposite is unfortunately, usually true, since selfish men, after they ejaculate, don’t care to continue to satisfy the woman…and most men don’t want to continue.

    However, with women’s amazing multi-orgasmic bodies, the same does not hold true if she has her orgasm first…they can both continue and she can have even more orgasms and more powerful ones too!!!

    What we need to do is follow author Ian Kerner’s advice “She Comes First”. We need a true sexual revolution that truly liberates women, gets rid of the shaming, and prioritizes her pleasure. And women, if a guy doesn’t satisfy you, if he is always selfish….DON’T STAY WITH HIM!!! SAY: NEXT!! Women spoil men by forgetting their own pleasure and always satisfying men no matter what…that needs to end. If all women demanded, lovingly of course, their own pleasure first…(hey, men have been doing that all along and not always in a loving way)…then selfish men would have no choice but to change.

    Orgasms do matter and a lot!! Women were not built or meant to have difficulty with orgasms….quite the contrary. There needs to be a lot of healing of female sexuality and I think it’s taking place….women need to make their pleasure a priority. So don’t have to have to climax 100% of the time, but most of the time….and the same goes for men…they need to learn to enjoy sex without being goal oriented. Men need to stop seeing sex as a means to an end…which is what they have always been doing selfishly!! Men need to learn to slow down and allow the woman time to surrender into pleasure…that means NO pressure to finish for either one and that could mean sometimes neither one climaxes….which is OK. Gives them both a chance to enjoy sensuous foreplay as a longer-lasting orgasmic experience.

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