Feeling bloated and crampy with a side of pissed-off-yet-strangely-hungry? Sounds like another monthly battle for your sanity with Mother Nature! Fluctuating hormones put your mind and body through the wringer during your period. Getting busy might be the last thing on your mind as the cramps start to settle in, but while ridin’ the crimson tide, your body is actually primed for incredible sex. Orgasms are also a fantastic way to ward off icky mood swings and body aches.
Period sex is a bit like running an Olympic obstacle course. Before you and your partner reach the finish line, you’ve got to dodge white bed sheets, attempt to keep all activity contained to a bath towel, and then tippy-toe across the carpet with both hands between your legs. Even if you’re off the Richter scale of horniness, all the sheet-staining possibilities can be a buzz-kill. Like any sport, period sex requires some preparation and practice. Once you master the art, you might even find reasons to look forward to the fun challenges a period can throw into the sex mix.
Get Clean to Get Dirty
Your bathroom is covered in easy-to-clean surfaces for a reason: so you can make a no-stress mess! You’ve probably tried sex on the dining room table or the couch, but we doubt you’ve seen the bathroom as a potential couples’ playground. It’s actually the perfect place for wild period sex sans all the stains. Clear out those cute bath mats and matching towel sets, and your powder room becomes a shiny wonder of non-porous surfaces.
Sturdy sinks, toilets, and tubs make for great position aids. Kick one leg up on the porcelain throne (with the lid closed, of course) and steady yourself with both hands on the wall while he takes you from behind. Then grab a seat on your sink counter top, legs bent or wrapped around his waist, while he thrusts from the front. Hop down and flip around to face the mirror with him behind you for a live-action view, and we’re pretty sure you’ll both forget about periods for a while. The position possibilities are almost endless when you start seeing your bathroom furnishings as sex furniture.
Think your wobbly sink or wonky toilet can’t handle all that action? There’s a reason why the shower is the second most popular place to have sex. The water can wash away more than just your period woes. Now is your chance to get messy! Grab some silicone lube and give each other’s sexy parts a generous rub-down. When clean-up is a no-brainer, you can go all-out and lube up your breasts, butt cheeks, and other soft areas for teasing.
If you’re still feeling a little squeamish when it comes to blood, running water will take care of the mess while you concentrate on the pleasure. Though the water stream might normally rinse away your natural lubrication, your period does double duty and acts as an extra lubricator , making that-time-of-the-month the ideal time for shower sex. If you’re lucky enough to have a detachable shower head, aim the jet at your clitoris during intercourse. The warm water increases blood flow and sensitivity while bringing you closer to The Big O.
Re-Route Your Routine
Don’t let a house full of absorbent fabrics keep you from venturing outside the bathroom. A little imagination can turn your period from a big, red stop sign into a pleasurable detour from the usual routine.
Let’s face it: those old stand-by bath towels need a period-proof upgrade! If you’re feeling anxious about ruining your home linens, invest in a pair of the biggest, dark-colored beach towels you can find. Tuck them into the sides of the bed or couch, or fold them together for extra absorbency. You can even wrap them around pillows to create stain-resistant positioning aids for propping up your pelvis or butt.
Now it’s his turn to simplify your post-coital cleaning. When was the last time you two really enjoyed buying condoms together? Condoms keep out the mess and can even turn his member into a funky sex toy. Pick out different kinds of condom textures and designs the same way you’d browse a pleasure product shop. Today’s wearable contraceptives can be paired with vibrating silicone cock rings if you need that extra buzz.
If the bloated, backed-up feelings that come with Aunt Flo’s first few days are steering you away from penetrative sex, don’t give up yet.
You can still orgasm aplenty without spilling a single drop. Menstrual cups keep your period inside while a partner stimulates your outsides. Tampons might absorb the blood, but they also suck up the natural moisture you produce when turned on. A menstrual cup simply stores your period blood in its hollow shape, leaving your vagina free to produce the wetness essential to external partner play. Add in some water-proof, vibrating sex toys and show your vulva and clitoris the undivided attention they deserve.
That Awesome Time of the Month
Maybe it’s a stretch to say getting your period is always awesome, but that’s just part of being a radical, life-giving woman. If you can kick ass in your career and social life during your period, we’re pretty sure you can conquer the sex bit just as amazingly. Mother Nature doesn’t give fab femmes anything they can’t handle. Now go get yourself some incredible period sex!