Untangling 5 Misconceptions About Bondage Play

For most of us, the word ‘bondage’ can conjure up some pretty intense images not unlike the one Cooper finds himself in at Club Vandersexxx in 2004’s Euro Trip. However, whatever images of bondage the media or your older brother’s hard drive has brought to your innocent little eyes is without a oubt an extreme, minority representation of this mostly fun, playful endeavor. So to clear up poor bondage’s misunderstood reputation, we feel obligated to review the top five misconceptions about bondage play to help you know what’s real and what’s knot.

misconceptions about bondage play

Misconception #1: Bondage is Painful

Contrary to popular belief, most bondage play is fun, light and painless (though you can incorporate sensation play like spanking). What we’ve seen in movies and pop culture lead us to believe that bondage is all about clunky buckles and apparatuses, black leather suits, chains, dungeons and floggings that turn your cute little butt beet red.

However, if you’ve ever put a blindfold on your partner and covered them in whipped cream…that’s bondage. If you handcuffed someone to a bedpost…that’s bondage too.

Misconception #2: Bondage is Confusing

We understand that bondage play might appear a tad confusing (and intimidating) as an outsider. However, curious beginners have an easy opportunity to comfortably experience the joys of bondage play through our luxurious BDSM collection that includes silky (and comfy) cuffs and silk ties that are perfect for wrists or ankles.

Misconception #3: Bondage Play is for Weirdos

Saying that bondage is for weirdos is like saying that sex is for weirdos. (Though, we are firmly pro-weirdo, they are often quite nice and can have excellent taste in films and restaurants, in our experience.)

Bondage play can enhances sex, if it pushes the right psychological and physical buttons for you, by adding or heightening the existing sensations of an already wondrous experience—and as far as we’re concerned, there’s nothing weird about trying something new and exciting. So yea, there are probably weirdos who are into bondage, but it isn’t liking bondage that makes them weird.

Misconception #4: Bringing Up ‘Bondage’ will Freak My Partner Out

In a healthy relationship, you should be comfortable expressing your desires, interests, likes and dislikes, hard and soft limits—and we’re not just talking about sex. By not trying new things, life (again, not just sex) becomes monotonous and routine, and you’re the only one that can break that routine. Communication is key. If you fail to bring up things on your mind with your partner, you’ll miss out on the experience of exploring mutually shared fantasies, and having a partner who can listen respectfully and talk it out, even if they aren’t personally interested in that kink, is the mark of a mature relationship.

Misconception #5: Bondage is for Couples Who are Bored

While couples who have been together a while are more likely to try more adventurous positions, toys and games just be virtue of having become more comfortable with communicating their desires…why wait! While it’s inevitable for every relationship to eventually experience some bedroom blues, the earlier you get into the habit of experimentation, the more you’ll learn and grow together. Keep reminding yourself: life’s too short!

Written by: Lea Marsden

Lea Marsden
For Lea, what once was “a European summer abroad” turned into traveling the world and studying sexual cultural differences for the past 6 years. She has a PhD in Gender & Sexuality and has a theory that dating guys in their twenties is an unpaid internship. She’s currently writing from a cafe in New Zealand.

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