Home / SEX & RELATIONSHIPS / Love & Relationships / How to Deal with a Loss of Libido

How to Deal with a Loss of Libido

Coping with a loss of sex drive is a complicated, though not uncommon occurrence during many romances, and depending on the couple in question it can form a tricky fork in the road that is your relationship.

It can happen for a variety of reasons and for some it can mark the last stop on the line. But for many more, figuring out how to get your mojo back acts as a spark to reignite a connection that may have become lost through the labyrinthine labors of life.

Luckily there are a number of ways to address the situation and a number of solutions to help put the bounce back in your bed springs.

How to Lift your libido

Open Up

Conversation is key to pretty much everything surrounding a loss of libido and, as with any other part of your relationship, the dialogue between you is crucial.

While you love each other and don’t want to hurt each other’s feelings, if one of you feels something is wrong, it’s possible – even probable – that the other does too. But how are you going to find out what the problem is unless you talk about it?

Maybe it seems easier to bury your head in the sand, or even be unfaithful, but these are short term solutions to what is obviously a long term problem and addressing them in the wrong manner will merely lead to bitterness, resentment and a lot of hurt feelings.


When the flame on your relationship starts to fade, you need to find ways to keep your confidence levels up, and flirting is a good way to do that.

Men and women naturally flirt in different ways and these small, positive and harmless interactions boost your sexual self-esteem which will hopefully overlap into other parts of your life.

It goes without saying that you shouldn’t overdo it or take it any further than simple, friendly chit-chat – if something more is what you’re looking for then your relationship is probably too broken to fix. But if low confidence is at the root of the original problem, this could be the catalyst for better things between the sheets.

Don’t Take it Personally

This is without doubt easier said than done, as it is difficult to look anywhere but in the mirror when your partner seems to have gone off the idea of sex.

Everybody ages, but no two people age the same way, and there is no formula to explain the way our individual lusts and desires influence our sex drives.

There are many reasons why one partner may be less excited by the idea of sex that have nothing to do with the other – stress, tiredness and bodily changes for example – and it is important to discuss these together before you decide to get past it together.

Try New Things

Nobody is suggesting that anyone allows their sex life to go stale on purpose, but sometimes when a couple gets comfortable, this can be the natural course.

If this is the case it may simply be that one, or both, of you are not trying hard enough to spice up your sex life and if you are intent upon finding a solution you could consider adding a few frisky new moves to your usual repertoire.

LELO’s couples’ massager Ida™ adds a thrilling spin to all your favorite positions and may just do the trick if adding a sex toy to your relationship is a direction in which you choose to go (highly recommended).

So rest assured that a loss of libido does not mean the end of your time together, it is merely another set of stitches in life’s increasingly rich tapestry.

By working together and being as open and honest as you would be in any other aspect of your relationship, it could be the kick-start your romance required, leaving the two of you left wondering what all the fuss was about in the first place.

About Katy Thorn

Katy Thorn is a post-grad writer with a passion for - and a history of - writing about sex, sexuality and all that it entails. She spends her time running, reading, writing and socialising. Katy has a cat named Feargal, she loves coffee and hates writing bios.

One comment

  1. To get the libido back, look at your hormones. Get on a good bio-identical, not drug company hormones. They are exactly what your own body makes or used to make. Also women need Testosterone also…that is what kicks in that time of the month when you ovulate that makes you horny. That fades with age or stress ect. Also 7 Keto DHEA seems to do the trick for strongly reviving a many year dead libido. All this with a very healthy Plant based diet and some hard spin classes, and I feel like we are in our 30’s again at 63.The toys really help spice things up, but no talking, massaging ect got me in the mood until I felt it in my core. My body wants everything now with NO hard work. Also had to get the hypo thyroid issue resolved that many older women get. That is best done with Armour Thyroid, not the synthetic Synthroid! Leaving best website at Hotzehwc.com to read all about it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.