It’s Time to Go Topless
We know what you think, but we’ll stop you right there – you’re only half correct. Let us show you how going topless this summer can do more for you than just get rid of your tan lines.
Ah, cleavage – it brings us such joy… Most of the time. Aside from being a source of food for tiny humans, our breasts are also the reason we can’t button our shirts properly, something that hurts us during PMS and jogging, something that we have to cover up on most beaches with swimsuits that get increasingly harder to find… need we go on?
Despite the litany of drawbacks we just listed, we are pretty appreciative of our boobs (and our partner probably is too!), but when is the last time we really celebrate having them?
Top(less) o’the Morning to You!
Sunday nearest August 26th (this year it is August 23rd) is Breast Appreciation Day (it’s actually Go Topless Day, but this sounded better) and we think you should celebrate it to the fullest. The premise is very simple. Everything you usually do at home, do it topless.
That’s right – cook topless, have coffee topless, eat topless, watch TV topless, but no touching allowed. If you want to spice things up even further, throw a remote controlled sex toy into the mix. You’ll both be crazy before the end of the day. Of course, you get to decide when to stop playing hard to get, but the naughty minds at LELO recommend you hold out for as long as you can. Play clueless and let your breasts do all the work for you – though if you’re looking to accessorize, they may take nipple clamps as a hint.
Treat Your Breast Friends Right
While we’re on the topic of your giving your boobs attention, when was the last time you gave them a closer look? We’re talking an actual hard look that gives you a double chin. If you’re reading this at home, take a minute, get topless in front of the mirror and see what they’ve been up to. And no, no need to google Pink Ribbon Day, it’s not in August. But breast cancer awareness should get more media time than just that one month.
Doing a self-exam isn’t hard or time consuming, it’s just a matter of taking your breasts (and health) into your hands!
Check Yo’self to Protect Yo’self
Yep, we’ve all heard it before. When you’re lying in bed, or contemplating your life choices in the shower, extend your arm above and behind your head and feel around your breast with your opposite hand. You may feel weird giving yourself a boob grab, but it’s totally normal – and should become routine. Some things you want to keep in mind:
- Don’t neglect the area around the breast. Everywhere from the armpit to the nipple to the tissue surrounding your ribs.
- Your breasts have a lot going on inside, including tissue, glands, and fat. So don’t be scared if you feel different things going on in different places.
- If you do notice something out of the norm, don’t freak out! Open up your phone notes and record it. Our breasts change throughout our cycles, so give it a few days and check it out again. If it continues, give your friendly doc a visit and follow up about his trip to Bora Bora last year.
While even the thought of breast exams can be scary because, let’s face it, being naive is easier than worrying there’s something wrong, preventive healthcare is so, so important for women. It’s likely that someone we love will or has already been affected by breast cancer, so let’s own our healthcare this Go Topless Day!
Finally, we’ll leave you with some surprising…
Facts About Boobs!
- Not all breasts are created equal. In fact, it’s very uncommon that a pair of boobs is exactly the same size, so don’t go thinking you’re abnormal because of it.
- You got it from your mama… or dad? You can inherit your breast size from either parent, which is why your mom could have way bigger, or way smaller, boobs than you.
- According to a study conducted with data from bra manufacturers, North Americans have the largest breasts (size F), followed by Ireland, Poland and the UK (size E). *European cup size measurements
- Breast shapes in the U.S. are hemispherical, whereas in the rest of the world they are more pear-shaped.
- According to breastcancer.org, about 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer in their lifetimes, so again, go get checked as an ode to preventive healthcare!
- There are 4 different types of nipples: flat, protruding, inverted and unclassified.
- A study found that over 80% of women found nipple stimulation sexually arousing, and some women can even orgasm from nipples stimulation alone.
Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelancer who lives in San Francisco with her understanding husband and not-so-understanding teenage sons. Her work has been published in The Journal of Sexology and she is currently writing a book on love languages.