It’s always a good time to spice up your sex life, but it’s especially important if you are in a long-term relationship. You might have noticed that after being together with your partner for a long time, your sex drive is not as it used to be at the beginning of the relationship.
The reason why you might experience a decline in sexual desire in a long-term relationship is because of The Coolidge Effect. The Coolidge Effect it’s a biological phenomenon that shows there is an increased sexual desire in animals (and humans) whenever a new sexual partner is introduced.
One study found that men maintained a higher arousal level when they were exposed to varying sexual stimuli, and another study found that women just like men experienced a decline in their arousal with repeat exposure to the same erotic stimuli.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you will never be as excited about having sex with your partner as you were at the beginning of the relationship. It also doesn’t mean that you need to open your relationship (even though you certainly can if that’s something you’re interested in!). Instead, consider adding novelty into your relationship to spice up your sex life.
Why Novelty is Essential
First, let’s discuss the benefits of engaging in novel activities with your partner.
Good for the Brain
Neurosurgeon and CNN chief medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta explains in his book, Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain at Any Age, that if we want to have a well-functioning and healthy brain at any age, it’s important to develop new brain cells. How can we do that? Well, it turns out that trying new things is a great way to stimulate the brain.
So, when you are trying new things in the bedroom with your partner, not only are you bettering your relationship and sex life, but you’re also helping your brain develop new cells. A win-win!
Improved Relationship Satisfaction
One study looked into the effects of couples participating in novel and exciting activities together and what it did to their relationship satisfaction levels. Researchers found that couples who engaged in new, and exciting activities together with partners felt closer, and reported higher relationship satisfaction and less boredom.
Better Sex
We already discussed The Cooldrige Effect and how it affects long-term monogamous relationships once the honeymoon phase is over. Well, one way to avoid this phenomenon is to bring novelty into your relationship and sex. Trying new, exciting, and highly arousing things together inside and outside the bedroom is an effective way to incite passion and have better sex.
Long-Lasting Love
Some people in long-term relationships report that they are just as in love with their partners as they were at the beginning of a relationship. What’s their secret? One study found that the long-term couples who were the most in love engaged in novel and challenging activities together amongst other things.
How To Bring More Novelty to Your Relationship
Now that you know all the great reasons to try new things together with your partner, let’s talk about simple, yet effective ways to spice up your sex life.
1. Create a Sex Playlist
Creating a dedicated sex playlist with your partner can be a super fun activity. You can dedicate one of your date nights to going through all the best sex songs to choose the ones you like the most… or you can surprise your partner and create a playlist for them.
2. Book a Weekend Getaway
Hotel sex is hot. And it doesn’t require a lot of effort or time. You don’t even need to book a vacation to stay at the hotel – take a weekend off and book a local hotel for a weekend-long staycation. The change of scenery, and having no responsibilities will surely get you both in a mood to pay.
3. Create a Sex Menu
Another thing to try with your partner is to create a sex menu. What is a sex menu? Well, think of it as a list of all the sexual activities you love and enjoy. No matter how long you have been in a relationship, or how well you think you know your partner, making a list of things you love will surely spark the imagination and get you excited to have sex.
Plus, it’s a fun way to spend your date nights that will surely bring you two closer together.
4. Try a New Sex Position
Don’t underestimate the power of switching up the sex position. Most couples will fall into the habit of having sex in the same sex position, or they have a few different ones they always end up using. And while that’s great if it works, it’s also great to try a new sex position once in a while.
It doesn’t require special preparation, just a little bit of research and a good attitude. Also, you might want to make a list of sex positions you’d like to try together and then pick one new sex position to try from that list either every week or every month.
5. Give Your Partner a Sensual Massage
A sensual massage is a wonderful way to show your partner how much you appreciate them, and how much you love their body. It can help them relax after a long day or a week, and it also allows them to engage in new activities that only revolve around sex. Of course, you can always end your sensual massage with a happy ending massage, but it is not a must.
Ask your partner what type of massage they’d prefer, and then make sure you shower them with your affection and attention.
6. Use a Sex Toy Together
If you haven’t tried using a sex toy together, you’re seriously missing out! It can help your partner have an orgasm easier if that’s something they’re struggling with. Plus, it is definitely a new and exciting experience that can be pleasurable and fun.
Consider using a couple’s toy or a cock ring to enhance penetrative sex. Or, if your partner has a favorite sex toy, use it on them or watch them use it in front of you. Lastly, you might even want to pick out and buy a new sex toy together during your next date night.
