Have you ever considered how gratitude impacts your sexual satisfaction and relationship? Gratitude is a common mindfulness practice that focuses on finding good things in life and feeling grateful for them.
What recent research has found is that feeling grateful about things in life not only improves overall happiness levels but can also greatly affect your relationship satisfaction and sex life.
Curious to learn more? Well, let’s dive into the practice of gratitude and how to use it to make your sex life better.
How To Use Gratitude Practice To Improve Your Sexual Satisfaction
What Are Mindfulness and Gratitude Practices?
Both gratitude and mindfulness are wellness practices that have great health benefits. Gratitude is an intentional practice of noting good things happening in your life. And mindfulness is about being aware of your thoughts and feelings and being present at the moment. They both go hand in hand.
Research has shown that gratitude in particular has many health benefits. And we’re not talking about mental health benefits (even though there are quite a few like better sleep and reduced stress and anxiety levels), but actual physical health benefits. One study found that keeping a gratitude journal improved diastolic blood pressure in people.
Here’s How Gratitude Affects Your Sex Life
Surprisingly (or maybe not), research shows that gratitude practice has a positive impact on your sexual satisfaction in a relationship. In a 2020 study published in a Social Psychology and Personality Science journal, researchers looked into the relationship between expressing gratitude in a relationship and a couple’s sexual satisfaction.
What the researchers found was that there is a direct link between the two. Practicing gratitude improves a couple’s sexual communal strength (aka SCS). Sexual communal strength in a relationship indicates how motivated partners are to fulfill each other’s sexual needs. It’s also an essential factor in a successful long-term romantic relationship.
So, practicing gratitude makes you more inclined to be receptive to your partner’s sexual needs, which is the key to sexual satisfaction.
Practicing gratitude and appreciation for your partner is crucial and lack of it can negatively affect your relationship. A study published in 2019 in the Journal of Family Psychology found that a lack of gratitude by one partner in a relationship drastically decreases overall satisfaction with the relationship.
Drs. John and Julie Gottman of the University of Seattle have studied relationships and couples for decades in their “Love Lab.” They agree with the findings in the studies and also propose the idea that a healthy balance between negative and positive emotions in a relationship is essential.
There will be negative emotions and conflicts that arise in any relationship. But as long as the ratio stays 1:5 (negative to positive emotions) and partners practice gratitude, appreciation and show love, they will thrive.
How To Incorporate a Gratitude Practice Into Your Life
So, let’s talk about what small things you can incorporate into your routine to start practicing gratitude to improve your sexual satisfaction. You can pick and choose which things sound interesting to you, or try them all.
Start a Gratitude Journal
Keeping a gratitude journal where every single day you write down a few things you are grateful for can be a very easy way to start incorporating mindfulness practice into your life.
You can start journaling with tools like Five Minute Journal or write Morning Pages if you want to include more reflection about your day. However, even starting as small as writing down three things you are grateful for today on your phone can be enough to start building a habit.
Even if you are upset about something, or if you feel like you had a horrible day, you can always find something, no matter how small, that you can appreciate. Think about small things like:
“I’m grateful because… it was a sunny morning.”
“I’m grateful for… the delicious sandwich I had for lunch.”
“I’m grateful because… I get to come back home and be with my partner after a bad day.”
There is always something to be grateful for and training your mind to find those little things every single day will have drastic improvements in how you feel about your life, yourself, and your partner.
Tell Your Partner What You Appreciate About Them
The easiest way to practice gratitude is to tell your partner you are grateful to have them in your life, and tell them which things about them you appreciate the most and why you love them.
We tend to only say these things on rare occasions like birthdays, or when something life-altering happens in our lives or other people’s lives, which pushes us to realize how lucky we are with what we have. Turn it around and make it into a daily habit.
Do you tell your partner you love them before they leave for work? Do you tell them how great they look? When they cook you dinner or bring you a snack while you’re reading in bed, do you thank them? And I’m not talking about mechanical, absent-minded words, but truly looking at your partner and meaning the words you tell them.
A small change like that can help you notice more great things about your partner, which can improve the relationship overall. And chances are that once you start expressing your appreciation for your partner more often, they’ll return the favor as well. Which will only create a more happy, intimate environment.
Schedule Intentional Date Nights
Choosing to consciously spend uninterrupted quality time with your partner, where you two can focus on each other only, can be a great way to evoke the feeling of appreciation for each other.
For this to actually work you have to put aside all distractions like phones, TV, work email, and everything else. Of course, that can be hard to do with busy schedules, especially when kids are involved. That’s why you want to be intentional.
Schedule a date night in your calendar way in advance. Find a babysitter for the night, or bring the kids to grandma if you have the luxury and dedicate a few hours just for you and your partner. Both of you make sure to tie any loose ends at work, so you can forget about deadlines or meetings and be fully present in the moment.
Also, make sure you go into the date night with the intention of appreciating each other’s company, even if it’s not sexual. Kiss and cuddle with the intention to feel each other, and not initiate sex. Tell each other about your days, and listen to what each of you has to say.
By the end of the evening, you’ll feel more connected, and grateful to have each other in your lives, to share your lives with a partner who’s attentive, sweet, and loving.
Consider a Sex Journal for Couples
If you want to find an activity to do together with your partner that will help you both be more grateful for each other and your relationship, then you might want to try A Sex Journal For Couples.
This journal was created by a couple who started journaling together to improve their sexual satisfaction in a relationship. When they noticed the benefits, they wanted to help other couples do the same.
Writing in this journal can be a fun little thing you and your partner do either each day, once a week or whenever you have a spare moment. It has many different prompts, which can make journaling easier if you’re not familiar with the practice.
Some of the prompts are more sexual, while others are focused on intimacy. It will not only help practice gratitude, but it might also spark some new ideas to try in the bedroom which is a guaranteed way to improve sexual satisfaction!
Try Tantra Practices
Tantra is the practice of mindful sex. It is a very intimate experience, and it can greatly enhance sexual satisfaction when practiced correctly and for a longer period of time.
Also, tantra can be a great way to connect with your partner on a deeper level and show your appreciation for their body and sexual needs. So, consider experimenting with tantric sex, tantric masturbation, yoni, and lingam massages to tap into tantric sex practices and see if it works for you and your partner.