You have probably heard the term tantric sex before. It probably evokes images such as multiple-hour lovemaking, multiple orgasms, and deepening connection with your partner.
And while it’s true that tantric sex is mostly a partner-focused lovemaking practice, it can also be used as a way to enhance your solo sex play. This is where tantric masturbation comes into play.
What Is Tantric Masturbation?
Tantric masturbation is a solo sex practice that involves making love with yourself in a slow, sensual, exploring way with the goal of exploration instead of orgasm in mind.
That is not to say that orgasm can’t happen at the end of the self-pleasure session. However, the most important part of tantric masturbation is taking time, feeling your whole body, and letting yourself fully relax and experience all the sensations.
There are no set rules on how you should or shouldn’t practice tantric masturbation, but it usually involves lots of breathwork and meditation.
I mean, who doesn’t want better, more intense orgasms?
While orgasm is not the goal with tantric masturbation, it can be a pleasurable side effect of the practice.
When you spend more time diligently touching and stroking yourself, you allow more time for your body to get aroused and properly relaxed.
Also, tantric masturbation requires focusing on breathing more, which also intensifies all the sensations, turning you on even more.
Giving yourself the time to feel things and fully relax will have a huge impact on how your body reacts when you orgasm.
#3: It Can Help You Overcome Shame You Have Over Your Body or Sexuality
It’s no secret that even in the 21st century, there is still a lot of shame lingering around sex and our bodies and how we experience it. And carrying this mindset can lead to poorer sexual satisfaction.
Masturbation is a form of self-love and self-care. So, when you’re practicing tantric masturbation, you allow yourself to know your body and fall in love with it.
Tantra involves the usage of mantras, which are words or phrases repeated during a meditation session. You can use them during your tantric solo sex sessions by repeating loving and kind words to yourself about your body which can improve the relationship you have with your body and your sexuality.
#4: Tantric Masturbation Helps to De-Stress
It’s no secret that sex helps de-stress, relax and even disconnect from real-life problems. It’s one of the main reasons why people crave it and are always looking for a quick release.
If you don’t have a regular partner or just prefer to de-stress by yourself, tantric masturbation can help with that.
When you have sex or masturbate, your brain releases certain hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, which, according to studies, help reduce stress symptoms and temporarily lift the mood.
Now, because tantric solo sex is not simple masturbation but involves meditation aspects, the stress-reducing benefits are doubled. You get the de-stressing benefits of both masturbation and meditation, which is always a win-win situation.
#5: Effective Painkiller
While it’s normal to not feel your sexiest or in the mood for a solo play session during your period, there are lots of benefits to it.
The next time you’re experiencing cramps, instead of reaching out for a painkiller, try tantric masturbation instead. It will work just as good if not better.
Studies have shown that when you orgasm, your brain releases different hormones. Two of them, dopamine and serotonin, are natural painkillers. So, an orgasm equals the best natural cure for pain.
This benefit mixed with the self-love and self-care aspect of tantric masturbation might be the perfect recipe for a more pleasant period.
#6: Increased Mindfulness and Self-Awareness
Tantra is a practice of meditation, after all, so it’s natural that through tantric masturbation, you can increase your self-awareness, become more mindful, and, well, spiritual.
Psalm Isadora, tantra educator and sex coach, writes, “orgasms are important spiritually because they get you out of your head and into your body. Orgasms are often called “the little death” because, at the moment of orgasm, you lose your ego—or sense of how you normally see yourself isolated from the source.”
You don’t have to be spiritual to practice tantric masturbation, and you don’t even have to focus on becoming spiritual after the practice.
But tantric solo sex experience can broaden your horizon, helping you better connect with yourself and the world around you.
Practicing Tantric Masturbation with a Partner
Mutual masturbation can be a great way to strengthen the relationship with your partner, build intimacy, and spice things up in the bedroom. Tantric masturbation can help you do all that even better.
The tantric sex play takes away the pressure to orgasm and get aroused, and get to the finish line as soon as possible with your partner. You both can focus on the sensations and feeling each other instead.
Try gently touching yourself and each other, keeping the breathing deep and steady while also keeping each other’s gazes.
Tantric masturbation with a partner can also help even out the pleasure gap between men and women. Studies had shown that only 63% of women orgasm during sex with a partner, while a whopping 85% of men orgasm during sex.
There is a huge gap between pleasure, and there are multiple reasons for it existing. But the most assured way to close the orgasm gap is by learning the anatomy of a woman and her pleasure and applying it.
Mutual tantric masturbation can help you communicate your sexual needs with your partner, show them what you like and what turns you on, and how they can please you better.
How To Practice Tantric Masturbation
So, what do you need to do to try this wonderful self-pleasure practice? Well, as I said, there are no set rules to how to practice tantric solo sex, but here are some steps that will get you started:
#1: Setting the Mood Right
Setting the mood is important because you want to feel comfortable and relaxed for your tantric masturbation session.
You might want to schedule some time in so that nobody interrupts you and you don’t have to worry about rushing somewhere. You can also pick out your favorite lingerie or wear none at all.
Light a candle, turn on some soft jazz music, have a long bubble bath before — do whatever activities put you in a mood for some sexy playtime and help you fully relax.
This is your time for some self-care and self-love, so don’t be shy and really make it feel like you’re treating yourself.
#2: Setting the Intention
This is where the meditative side of tantric masturbation comes into play. You want to spend some time thinking over what are your intentions for this session are.
Don’t think about setting goals or achieving something. This is not the time and place for rushed thinking.
It’s more about what do you want to feel — are you ashamed of your body and want to fall in love with it? Do you want to connect with yourself more and find inner peace? Or maybe you’re just looking to unlock the mindblowing orgasms you are not able to reach during regular sex?
Having the intention set in mind for your tantric masturbation session will give a sense of purpose and direction for your sexual meditation.
And don’t worry if nothing comes to mind at first — getting to know your body is a good enough intention to start with.
#3: Focus on Breathing
Breathing is the thing that makes the biggest impact on the sexual experience of tantric masturbation.
Breathing has a lot of influence on our body and how we react and experience things — that’s why breathing is widely focused on during meditation, anxiety treatment, and even in the military.
You want to really focus on taking in deep, long breaths, letting the air fill your lungs. It will relax your muscles, and it will help your mind stay focused on the present.
When you’re breathing, focus on the breaths and how they feel on your lungs, how your body relaxes and how your chest moves when you’re breathing in and out.
Whenever we feel an orgasm coming, we usually start taking in sharp, shallow breaths that contract muscles and disturb the blood flow.
The magic of tantric masturbation and slow, deep breathing is that by breathing, whenever you feel the climax coming, you’ll feel it way more intensely.
Steady, deep breathing will help keep your muscles relaxed, letting the blood flow freely, and while it might take longer to orgasm when you do, it’ll be mindblowing.
#4: Start with the Secondary Erogenous Zones
There are two types of erogenous zones in your body — secondary ones and primary ones.
As you might have guessed, primary erogenous zones are your genitals and nipples. They bring immense pleasure when stimulated, and we rely heavily on them to orgasm and experience sexual satisfaction.
However, they’re not the only places in our bodies that can provide pleasurable sensations. Secondary erogenous zones in our body are places that fold — elbows, hands, wrists, inner groin, and ankles — even feet.
During your tantric masturbation session, take your time caressing and gently massaging your secondary zones. It will bring in new sensations and let you explore your body and how it feels in different areas.
Experiment with different pressure points, strokes, and techniques to see what your body responds to, and while it might not feel sexual at first, it will definitely turn you on.
#5: Really Take Your Time
Tantric masturbation is all about taking your time and not rushing anywhere. Not to pick up your kids from school, not to a work meeting, and not to orgasm.
When you finally move from secondary erogenous zones to your primary ones, don’t rush. Take your time massaging, stroking, and touching your body, fully focusing on the slow and soft sensations while breathing.
Squeeze, grip, circle around, tap, stroke slowly and gently, as if you were teasing a partner. Tease yourself.
#6: Bring in Different Textures and Sensations
There are no rules against using sex toys or lube during tantric masturbation. And there is really no reason why you shouldn’t use your favorite sex toys to help you enhance your experience.
Use lube, warmed up, or cold to add different sensations and feelings to the touch. If you’re feeling extra, you can even bring in the ice cubes and experiment with some temperature solo play.
Try taking a silky material, like a satin robe or a tie, and drag it over your body, letting the different textures touch your skin and see how it feels on different parts of your body.
Or, if you have the special massage wax candle, use it on yourself to add a tang of pain to your tantric masturbation play to spice things up.
There are plenty of ways to bring in different sensations with your toys or simple household items, and just like you would experiment with your partner, you can do that with yourself during tantric solo sex play.
It’s all about sensations and taking your time, so go wild!
#7: Keep Practicing
Don’t expect your first time to be perfect, bringing you the spiritual enlightenment with the most mindblowing orgasm of your life.
Just like getting the best out of meditation, it might take time and practice to get the best results and satisfaction out of tantric masturbation. So, keep practicing.
It might be hard to fully relax or stay in the present and move slowly at the beginning. The urge to get to the finish line as soon as possible is strong, so don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get to experience it all in the first go.
Tantric masturbation is a practice that can be enjoyed whenever and it will only get better with experience.