In & Out: Breathing Exercises For Better Sex
Good sex is really simple. That’s what makes it so complicated.
There are countless ways to enhance the pleasure of sex. Sexual moisturizers and introducing sex toys into the bedroom are both ways to immediately start exploring new sexual avenues. Reading erotica, watching adult films together, finding new and exciting places to make love – all of these are exhilarating ways to have better sex.
But, when it comes down to it, your body and your mind are your most important sexual assets, and there are some tricks and trips you should try if you want to improve your sexual performance. One such trick is controlling your breathing, and that’s what we’re looking at today.
Any time we engage in any physical activity, from walking up stairs to lifting weights, we need to breathe, and sex is most definitely a physical activity. The problem is, when it comes to straining through that physical activity, we tend to hold our breath. Whether we’re lifting weights or having sex, we’re often not breathing efficiently, and as a result our body is not working as well as it could or should be.
You ever listen to boxers, or professional weightlifters? They exhale or inhale with every effort. They condition themselves and train themselves to use their breathing to help control their muscles.
The same is absolutely true of sex: learn to use your breathing, and you learn to enjoy a new type of euphoria during sex.
And the best part is, you don’t need to be a fitness fanatic or a tantra practitioner to do it (but if you’ve ever taken a yoga class, you’re already at an advantage).
What are the Benefits of Breathing Exercises?
Consciously controlled breathing has a huge amount of benefits. For one, it can help you overcome resistance, so synchronizing your breathing with your body can quickly help ease any difficulty during, for example, anal sex, and can help make anal sex easier and more comfortable.
But it doesn’t stop there. Holding your breath reduces the amount of oxygen arriving at the muscles your body is using: it makes you more tired, faster. As a result, your energy levels can dip, his erection can soften, her arousal can lessen, and the sex will end faster. Controlling your breathing will prolong sex, make him harder for longer, delay both your orgasms, and make your climax more intense when it arrives.
You know the best thing about oxygen? It gets you high. Deep breathing during sex elevates the sensation of euphoria. The more you breathe, the better you feel, and the better you feel, the better the sex.
How do I Try Breathing Exercises?
1. Breathe deep & Long
We mentioned yoga earlier. In yoga, the instructor will tell you to breathe from the abdomen, using your stomach muscles to pull air down into your body. This isn’t quite as simple as it sounds, and it takes practice, but it’s worth it – not just for sex, but for everyday life.
2. Synchronize your breathing.
When you’re making love, making a conscious effort to make your breathing patterns match is a type of intimacy exercise.
While counting during sex is far from sexy, a good pattern is to inhale slowly for five seconds, hold your breath for three seconds, exhale for seven seconds and then “observe the space at the end of the breath” – that is, pause for a couple of seconds after you’ve breathed out. It is of course not realistic to maintain this pattern throughout sex, but it’s a good guideline, and by matching your breathing patterns with your partner’s, your entire bodies will be in sync too.
3. Slow down.
As you feel yourself coming close to orgasm, slow your breathing and surf the sensations. Your breathing directly influences your climax and can control it very effectively; normally when you’re close to orgasm your breathing becomes faster and shorter, you might even begin to hold your breath. The secret to edging (also called orgasm control) is being able to recognize when this is happening and breathe slower. This alone will delay your orgasm, and result in a more satisfying climax.
There we have it. Breath from your diaphragm, synchronize your breathing and slow it down when you’re close. Simple, satisfying, natural and incredibly effective.
Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelancer who lives in San Francisco with her understanding husband and not-so-understanding teenage sons. Her work has been published in The Journal of Sexology and she is currently writing a book on love languages.