Pussy Eating 101: How to Give Good Oral Sex to Someone With a Vulva  

There are tons of guides and classes out there on giving blowjobs, but cunnilingus just doesn’t get the same amount of attention. This is unfortunate, because around three quarters of vulva owners need clitoral stimulation to consistently orgasm, and oral sex is one highly effective way to provide that. 

Some people are intimidated by eating pussy, but you don’t have to go nuts with your technique — it’s actually pretty simple. Here are some ways to give great head to someone with a vulva.

pussy eating oral sex

1. Draw out the anticipation

The clitoris gets engorged and becomes more accessible when someone is aroused, so you want to make sure your partner is excited before you even go down there. Spend time playing with your partner’s breasts, kissing their inner thighs, and doing other things to build up the anticipation as much as possible. Make them ache for it.

2. Stay on the clitoris

Some people think eating pussy means getting all fancy and putting your tongue in the vagina or all over different parts of the vulva. You can do a little bit of that to tease your partner in the beginning, but for the most part, you’re going to want to focus on the clitoris. For those who don’t know, the clitoris is right at the top of the vulva, above where the labia meet.

3. Get under the clitoral hood if needed

For most vulvas, at least the top portion of the clitoris is covered by a piece of skin called the clitoral hood. Many people will feel more sensation if you get below the clitoral hood, directly on the clitoris itself. You can usually do this by licking upward from right below the clitoris. However, for others, the clitoris is too sensitive for direct contact, so gauge your partner’s reaction. You can even try it both ways and ask what they prefer.

4. Lick in an up-and-down motion

Again, you don’t need to get too fancy and recite the alphabet or anything. A good bread-and-butter move is to flick your tongue repeatedly up and down over the clitoris. You can ask your partner if they want you to switch anything up. Otherwise, consistency is key, so just keep doing what you’re doing.

5. Engage your hands

If your mouth gets tired, that’s no excuse to stop — it’s just an invitation to take over with your hands for a bit. Rubbing the clitoral hood from right to left or in circles is usually a good bet. Then, once you’ve recovered, dive back in. 

You can also get your hands involved while you’re going down on someone by putting a finger or two into the vagina and pressing upward. Sometimes, just having the finger in there is enough to intensify the sensation, while some may prefer you move it in a come-hither motion. Find out what your partner prefers and do it.

6. Finish the job

Too often, people think of oral sex as just a warmup for intercourse — something to do until your partner is wet and ready for penetration. But having someone stop in the middle of oral sex can actually be very physically frustrating. Remember, most people with vulvas don’t consistently orgasm through intercourse, so if you want them to orgasm, it’s best to take care of them beforehand. If it doesn’t seem like what you’re doing is building toward a climax, ask your partner for feedback and adjust accordingly. You’ve got a job to do, so unless told otherwise, don’t quit until it’s done. 

Oh, and if your partner says “don’t stop,” don’t. Stop. 

Written by: Suzannah Weiss

Suzannah Weiss is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, New York Magazine, and elsewhere. She writes and speaks about gender and sexuality and coaches people on having better sex. She is a certified sex educator and studied Cognitive Neuroscience, Gender and Sexuality, and Modern Culture and Media at Brown University.

8 comments

  1. Great advice!!
    Thanks Suzannah!!
    Great name spelling!!

  2. I do what you described. At my age, I can’t guaranty that my cock can do the job. But my tongue never fails. Heat her up. Get her wet and open. Apply tongue and fingers inside to stroke her G-spot. Lick and suck her clit like it is a little cock. Get her dripping and keep going until her thighs crush your ears and her ass rises off the bed and she quivers, shivers, and shakes in orgasmic ecstasy! Is that why she told me I had a talented tongue?

    • “until her thighs crush your ears”

      That’s actually how someone lost his eardrums not too long ago.

  3. khanma59@gmail.com

    U dont ask – U give – It is not a job it is giving ultimate pleasure to the women U are with

    U do not ask – U give your best with your mouth lips and hands

  4. Very good article. Take your time, no rush, your lady will appreciate all the time you take.

  5. “If she’s not moaning and shaking like a demon is being exorcised from her body, you’re doing it wrong.” 😎

  6. To Anonymous – Then just be careful heading south on female wrestlers!

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