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How To Give The Perfect Blowjob

Ok, we admit it. Calling this article ‘how to give the perfect blowjob’ is a little unrealistic. The truth is, oral sex is performed and enjoyed differently by everyone. Some people love them, some hate them. As with all sexual matters, it’s good communication that’s key. A more accurate title would be ‘how to give a perfectly good blowjob if you’re happy to give one and your partner enjoys receiving them’, but that’s a bit cumbersome.

The Perfect Blowjob

Blowjob. It’s an odd and misleading phrase. You don’t blow, you suck, and if it’s work you enjoy, it’s hardly a job. But what really sets it apart in the murky and fascinating world of sexual slang is that it’s relatively new, probably coined in the late 50s. When the jet engine was invented, fighter pilots would often refer to their planes as blow jobs without so much as a smirk. (But there’s no evidence the phrase came from the Top Gun community. Just like the history of the word dildo, no one’s quite sure where blowjob came from.)

So let’s be clear: there’s no ‘wrong way’ or ‘right way’ to perform oral sex on a man. But there are plenty of ‘ways’, and we’re going to talk about a few. In no particular order…

5. The One Way Street

The ‘One Way Street’ makes him a passenger, and there’s a good chance he’ll love it. We give it this name because you’re in control; he lies back, closes his eyes, maybe swears at the ceiling, and trusts you to spoil him. This is an opportunity for you to explore and try different techniques: one hand, two hands, no hands, speed up, slow down, stop, start, build up and tease. Listen to his reactions and play to them.

Blindfold him to intensify the sensations, so he’s concentrating only on what you’re doing. Restrain his hands for added spice.

4. The Surrender

In the ‘Surrender’, the roles are reversed: he’s in control of his own pleasure. This is certainly not a technique for everyone, and it takes some self-control on his part and some trust on yours, but it involves allowing him to take your hair, move your head, perhaps kneeling in front of him, and letting him find his own way to orgasm. He’s in control.

And since the roles are reversed from the previous style, perhaps this time you wear the blindfold.

3. The Virgin

Sometimes it doesn’t matter how experienced you are or how much you enjoy performing oral sex, every now and then he’ll enjoy it if you pretend you don’t quite know what you’re doing, like it’s your first time doing it. This takes a light touch, some gentleness and some hesitancy, mixed with some eagerness.

Look him in the eyes while you gently lick him. Tell him how it tastes… flatteringly.

2. The Pornstar

The complete opposite of the ‘Virgin’, the ‘Pornstar’ is all about confidence. This is a blowjob without inhibition, without any powerplay: you give how you want to give and he receives how he wants to receive. You’re both in control, and it can be messy and noisy.

Of course, not everyone can do what pornstars do, and not everyone was born without a gag reflex. But it can be fun to try every now and then.

1. The Big Tease

The Tease puts you right back in the driving seat, but this time, as opposed to the One Way Street, the object is not to allow him to climax, but make him get really close and then drop him back down again. The longer you continue, the more intense his orgasm will be.

Some Things to Try

Mouth-Watering Pleasure

Take some whipped cream or ice cream, some champagne or some yoghurt and put it in your mouth before going down on him. Use your tongue to move it around him for a sensation he won’t be able to bear for long. You can read some more suggestions for food in foreplay here.

Teeth

Teeth should be used sparingly during oral sex. But every so often, lightly dragging your teeth along the surface of his skin will shake up the sensations, like hitting a reset button so you can start the pleasure all over again.

The Vibe

Men respond to vibrations just as much as women, and by holding a simple but powerful vibrator against him while you perform oral sex will drive him crazy. Tease his perineum and his testicles while you go down, and occasionally hold it against his penis too.

Most Importantly…

…forget everything you just read and do it your own way. Sure there are little tips and tricks you can pick up and try, but there’s just no substitute for experimentation and good communication.

About Katy Thorn

Katy Thorn is a post-grad writer with a passion for - and a history of - writing about sex, sexuality and all that it entails. She spends her time running, reading, writing and socialising. Katy has a cat named Feargal, she loves coffee and hates writing bios.

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7 comments

  1. I love giving my man a blow job. I love giving him oral because I enjoy it as much as he does and I enjoy swallowing him every time. Oral sex is fantastic once you learn what your partner enjoys. I personally, love waking up in the morning and starting my day with my tongue wrapped around him.

  2. Mhh, i love the dare and thrill to ask for a little teeth. *nibble*

  3. I love oral sex with my husband…..waking up in the morning, nite time, office or just anywhere … He enjoyed us much as I do….

  4. I can’t believe you didn’t mention Altoids. Is it a brand name thing? Chewing up a handful of peppermint Altoids right before a bj is a powerful thing. Or cinnamon if you prefer a hot sensation to a cold. Also mentholated lip gloss like Blistex or Burt’s Bees, as long as you don’t mind getting a little back in your mouth as you continue sliding. Make sure you have water/shower handy the first time as this can get too intense. Stimulating agents like this are not for camping trips or a sly quickie when everybody’s gathered at Mom’s house for the holidays. (Although it does make for a story you’ll never forget.)

    Men are very visual. The blindfold thing is fun, but for an advanced twist, pull out your cell phone and use one hand to take a short selfie video. Try a pattern like four slow strokes followed by eight quick ones. Hand it to the lucky gentleman and tell him to hit “play” while you repeat the pattern. (Sensation and visual don’t have to match. It just adds to the tease.)

    Last note: “edging” is fun. (Getting him close, then backing off. Repeat.) But at some point on the arousal incline, edging off becomes seriously unpleasant and can cause pain or nausea in an un-sexy way. Do respect the agonized, “Don’t stop!” If tease-torture is your thing, set up a safe word in advance so you can ignore the begging and still have a way for him to let you know whenhe really, really means it.

  5. I hope i i can experience too

  6. I can’t believe I’m sharing my ‘secret’ but here it is: HONEY. If you want to provide yourself and your partner the best experience, grab some honey and take 2 Tblsp.’s (or more) of hone before you indulge. It secretes the saliva glands in your mouth and you’ll be/he’ll be slipping and sliding on honey heaven! I keep an h-bear in the goodie drawer next to the bed. You’ll love me for this trick. By the way, the best thing you could do is to read a book called Jack’s BJ Lessons it transformed my sex life.

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