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Mastering the Art of Flirting

While the term “flirting” might conjure up thoughts of grade school playgrounds, the truth is, it’s a behavior that we never grow out of. Playful in nature but earnest in intent, a simple flirt can have positively profound, life-changing results.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Instead, let’s review some essential pointers for pulling of a tease with ease.

The Art of Flirting


While the seductively smug, aloof woman might entice the Hollywood hunk to make a move in the movies, the opposite attitude attracts men in real life.

While “smile” seems like campy advice, smiling is synonymous with approachability, gregariousness and fun.

According to psychological studies, smiling opens up social connections, enhances first impressions and increases personal and professional possibilities.

Let your eyes do the talking.

Eyes speak louder than words. We often find ourselves in public settings—on trains and planes; in bank lines and restaurants—unable to stop shooting repeated glances at that attractive stranger.

If these looks are periodically returned, take pride in the fact that you’re on that person’s mind between glimpses, and an approach will be warmly welcomed.

Feel things out.

At the beginning stages of flirting, it’s wise to keep your signal-sending ambiguous and low risk, and there’s no better way to test the waters of mutual interest than by exercising your sense of touch.

Beware not to go overboard, however. A simple, seemingly-casual collar adjustment or lean of your shoulder into his body puts the ball of touch in his court.

If he returns your touch, consider it kinesthetically calculated.

Play good ol’ fashioned hard to get.

Diamonds are valuable because they are rare, difficult to attain and have been given a high value by society. These same rules can of course be applied to meeting new partners.

The simple equation here is less available = more desirable. Even if you’re highly interested in someone, remind yourself to maintain a push-pull, one-step-forward-two-steps back approach to maintain your desirability—especially while flirting via text.

Act like the prize that you are.

If only heeding the clichéd ‘ol “just be confident” were that easy. When it comes to confidence, sociologists, successful athletes, politicians and businesspeople recommend a “fake it till you make it” approach using attitude and body language.

Now, this is not to say that you should pretend to be someone else, this technique is based on the theory that confidence will eventually become a natural habit after continuously exuding the characteristics of it (see more on this theory in the video below — definitely worth a watch!).

Take a look around nature. Every living thing you see—from wild animals to wild people—is a product of the flirting and courtship process.

While fun and playful in nature, flirting is the essential first step toward life’s most fundamental, pleasurable and glorious undertaking, which without, none of us would ever be here (we’re talking about sex!).

About Katy Thorn

Katy Thorn is a post-grad writer with a passion for - and a history of - writing about sex, sexuality and all that it entails. She spends her time running, reading, writing and socialising. Katy has a cat named Feargal, she loves coffee and hates writing bios.

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